Tough Love for Newbies and really anyone else



If I could “like” your post more than once you’d have a string of thumbs up. :grinning: I’m doing this for health and weight loss is a necessary but secondary concern. The weight is starting to come off too but I also feel so much better! So “ditto” everything you said and I add for newbies don’t just look for the weight loss. Measure your success in other ways too. Cook yourself yummy keto meals (check out Carrie Brown’s recipes!), relax, and don’t just go on a diet - get a healthy life.


All true and I could have written the same post a year ago. I just need to add a word of warning. I “went off” keto over the holidays, thinking I’d get right back on. Well, three months later I was still struggling to even think about getting myself back into ketosis. Two weeks ago I FINALLY got started, and it’s been a very rough 2 week transition. Much harder than last year, when I had much more weight to lose.

I got kind of complacent after losing 50 pounds and thought I would be able to quickly get back to keto after taking a short time off. Even worse, through my first month off keto, I actually lost a few pounds, which led me to tell myself that my insulin resistance must be “fixed.” Of course, that didn’t last and I gained 20 pounds back over the next two months.

Moral of this story? Once you’re in ketosis and rolling along, ot’s easy to tell yourself “you got this” when holidays roll along. A few days off won’t hurt anything, after all, right? Yeah, it might. I got a little cocky about the diet and thought I had it all together. I learned otherwise the hard way.

Just something to be aware of!

(Jennibc) #58

That’s why I NEVER do a few days. It’s more like a single meal! Down 113 pounds today. This is a way of life, I will never go back to eating some things with any kind of regularity.

(Scott) #59

As I get closer to my goal weight I am seeing how effortlessly it will be to maintain with this WOE. I can’t see myself ever leaving keto behind.

(Eric - The patient needs to be patient!) #60

What Scott says.

(Michael - Don't expect miracles and you won't be disappointed.) #61

Being a ‘newbie’ is not a time dependent phase. It’s an attitude. The longer you eat lo/no carb, become more efficiently fat adapted, experience both foreseen and unforeseen benefits, the less you think you’ve given up something. Instead, you realize you have gained something far better. As your appreciation grows that you gained something valuable, the feeling you gave up something weakens. Finally, you realize you are where you want to be, want to remain and see no point leaving. Ever. At that point, you are no longer a ‘newbie’. Doesn’t matter whether it took you 6 months, 12 months or 5 years to get there.

After your newbie attitude changes, so-called cheat days are no longer an issue. You don’t want to eat that stuff any more so you don’t. Family gatherings and social events are no longer an issue. You politely decline to eat stuff you don’t want to eat any more. You find a way because you are NOT making a sacrifice. You ARE instead celebrating good health and nutrition - and enjoying the benefits of it.

Cant get back into ketosis
On the struggle bus
New to Keto need Good snack recipes
Xylitol, Allulose, and insulin

You are doing fantastically! You’d think I would know better, at 68 years old and a dozen major attempts(and successes!) at losing weight and stabilizing hypoglycemia. A big move right before Halloween started me on my downhill path, but it was the biggies-- Thanksgiving and Christmas-- that really pushed me off the deep end.

Definitely hoping for better this year, and looking forward to getting back in the groove. Ketosis has many benefits for me outside of weight loss, and
I’m looking forward to experiencing them again!

(Deborah ) #63

Terrific post!

(traci simpson) #64

That describes my feelings. I have lost two pounds that go up and down on a regular basis but all I can do is keep learning what is going to work and what doesn’t.

(Jennibc) #65

Keep the faith and keep plugging away! You can do it!

(Lo) #66

Thanks for this whole post, but specifically the above quote. I “fell off the wagon” after a vacation in Florida and have been slipping and sliding ever since (especially the past couple of weeks). I came back to the forums to get re-motivated, and your post has contributed greatly to that. This way of eating has helped me see a lessening in chronic pain and greater mental clarity as I enter a new phase in my life, so I know it works - I just needed the nudge to get back on track.

Again. Thank you!!

(Jennibc) #67

I am so glad you found it helpful! That was my intent. One of the greatest gifts is self-compassion. Once we learn and practice that, it’s much easier to face challenges and meet goals.

(Bob M) #68

You might try going full-on carnivore. You might be one of those people who really receive a benefit.

(Bob M) #69

The posts of the type addressed in the first post in this thread are difficult for me. After 5.5 years of low carb/keto (with multiple false starts before that), I have had MANY times when the scale “stalled” on me but maybe my belt size decreased or did not. I have had shoulder surgery (not good for weight loss/gain, no matter the diet), done MANY 4.5 day, 3.5 day, 36 hour+ fasts, eating within windows, OMAD, TMAD (two meals a day), eating dairy, not eating dairy, eating nuts, not eating nuts, etc., etc., etc. And I could list another 10-20 tests I’ve done on myself.

So, when newbies come with questions, I often don’t want to answer, particularly if they are at all flippant. And I’m also a “newbie” in the sense that I don’t often come here. Sometimes I will answer, but then it’s too easy to get overwhelmed by answering, as the posts never stop. And, honestly, it’s like the blind leading the blind: I don’t know any better than they do. I just know what has worked for me in the past. The main thing I do is I never give up. I’m 5.5 years into it, still wouldn’t mind losing weight, and am losing weight (and gaining muscle). Slowly, very slowly, but it’s there. And often I think of all the benefits I’ve received and use those to keep going:

  • used to take two 24-hour allergy pills per day; take none now
  • asthma is gone
  • skin tags are gone
  • precancerous skin areas are gone
  • frequent urination is gone (save when I take my beta blocker)
  • snoring is gone
  • about 60 pounds of fat are gone
  • 10 pounds of muscle is here
  • I can usually eat two times per day, sometimes one
  • I can still fast 30 hours once per week, sometimes two
  • I can still fast 4.5 days when I get the right week to do so
  • I control hunger, it doesn’t control me
  • with heart failure, betahydroxybutarate is important, and I’m basically always in ketosis
  • I slide easily into and out of ketosis (can be <0.5 BHB every morning, and over that at night)
  • tinnitus is less
  • skin is much better
  • thought process is better
  • I have boundless energy

I could go on. Maybe I should clean this up (I see some aren’t parallel), and just post this every time a newbie posts? :wink:

(Bob M) #70

Oops, that should be about 36 or so hours of fasting.

(Eric - The patient needs to be patient!) #71


Thanks for posting. I get overwhellmed with newbies and then a handful have an attitude. But some are so grateful for the guidance. I’m 11+ months in strict keto and ~5 yrs low carb kind of keto.

I’ve finally found what works for me but I’m confident that at some point it may stop working. So I also am a newbie.

Lets keep on keeping on.

(hottie turned hag) #72

I really really dig this ^^^^ :purple_heart:
Doesn’t apply to me as my ocd prevents cheating and my fam isn’t the sort to GAF who eats what and I am reclusive so never attend “social events” but it still resonated.

(Kirk Wolak) #73

@misshannah I agree with you, but not probably completely.
First, THIS is how the ATTACK of the food Pyramid and the CICO model should be ATTACKED by Keto people.

It is UNACCEPTABLE to suggest we are bad people or non-compliant, or just lazy. The truth is that when we are inflamed, we have less energy. Our body is burning our energy trying to deal with inflammation. And the stress induces hunger, forcing us to eat or starve (something I don’t feel on keto… And that’s probably how NORMAL weighted people feel).

But, I don’t think we should remove the stigma from obesity completely. It is unhealthy, and while it might not be fixable in everyone, we as a society have to try.

The sad thing for me is that SO MANY people are okay being unhealthy, because “They literally want to eat Double Stuffed Oreos and Ice Cream”… I just had this conversation last night. And they believe SINCE they are ALWAYS going to crave these things, because they always do under the old model, that whatever program they follow BETTER ALLOW them to have these things. And Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers LOVE to perpetuate this (because addicts will always come back!).

So, we have work to FRAME the argument:

It’s NOT your fault when you were lied to.
But once you know the truth… You have FULL responsibility from that day forward!

The biggest Zinger I ever had someone throw at me (When they found out I was at the gym 5 days a week), they asked “for what? The Buffet?” OUCH!


I appreciate that’s your opinion. However, research shows shame and stigma do nothing to motivate individuals to growth or change. It’s not just useless, it’s literally counterproductive. What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t stigmatize (stigma: a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person) fat people anymore? God forbid we be free to seek our own level of health and contribution to society without your capital letter judgement.


Thats not ur decision nor should it ever be, to choose what others should do with their lives, specially when its not hurting anyone. If someone wants to live unhealthy lifestyle and accept the ending, why does it bother you?

Best driver for healthy lifestyle is self-interest, that is why majority of people (pre-finding keto) in this forum are well on their way to getting sick, are already sick or are battling with obesity. Same thing with the shallow fitness boom of instagram era, self-interest driving them to workout and eat healthier to look better.

That depends on the individual, some push back, some hide, not everyones the same. I do believe tho it shouldnt be used as “motivator”, ur life/urself should be motivator enough. If u care enough about urself u will find a way, u wont need outside “motivator” for it.