What to do about your own or other's (negative) feelings to what you eat

(Diane Dupree-Dempsey) #42

I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when people start talking about their health issues, but I am learning to. Most people don’t want to hear about Keto. I do FINALLY have my husband starting to talk about trying Keto, but he’s sort of angry about it. He’s feeling forced because our dinners are Keto. We cook more for my preferences than for his. He still eats SAD the rest of the time. As he says, “one foot on the dock, one on the boat”. He’s eating the worst way and feels awful. He was always the skinny eat-anything guy. Now in his 50s that’s not the case. I asked him to think about trying Keto for 60 days. He doesn’t want to give up beer. That’s the real sticking point. I know there are low carb beers so I am hoping we can find one that he will like.

(Libby) #43

Sadly, if he’s drinking good beer now none of the low carb versions will do. But there’s liquor…

A good beer generally has 15 or so carbs, I think. If he is one of the lucky ones who can stay in ketosis with a carb allotment of, say, 50… maybe he could indulge a little.

(Edith) #44

My husband still has a beer once in a while. He was also one of those people who could eat anything and not gain weight, but in his 50s he did start to get love handles. He started keto no long after I did.

I think because he was one of those people who could eat anything, a few extra carbs here and there don’t bother him. Maybe it would be the same with your husband: a beer or two on a Friday and/or Saturday night may be okay as long as he sticks to keto the rest of the time.

('Jackie P') #45

My brother does keto with beer and annoyingly lost more than me!
Maybe strict keto with beer and see how it goes. It’s surely better than nothing.

(Marianne) #46

So smart - people think we are nuts.

(Marianne) #47

Wow, that is really sad - when you get over it being so funny. I am not at goal weight nor am I judging; it is just so sad to me how many very overweight people there are whenever I go.

(Marianne) #48

My morbidly obese friend said, “I could never give up fruit.”

(Troy) #49

Sometimes yes!
Quickly as possible
Prepare, cook, eat
Game, set, match…

I do not care what others think, I know what I have to do or eat.
The way I look and feel…that’s the proof in the pudding
Mic drop

I’m 99.987% in full hermit mode most of the time any ways
So hearing it or dealing with others, not on my to-do list🙂
Wasted KETO energy…TO ME

I spend and use the energy for a walk

Works for me

(Marianne) #50


When I was around 26, my boss (God bless him), gave me a box of “sugar free” chocolates for Christmas. He meant well because I was always dieting and also going to OA at the time. I didn’t know anything about zylatol or maltitol, whatever was in these things.

Of course, I binged out on them as soon as I got home, because that’s just what I did with most everything. I am telling you, I thought I was going to explode from the inside. It was horrible! That stuff is poison!

(carol mclintock) #51

Marianne, I try not to be too judgy, as at that age, I was too caught up in the quick fix and the magic pill or potion and firmly in the grip of carb addiction (haribos are seriously addicting to me, I can’t have one).
I do sometimes get a bit impatient when they say that they can’t understand how the weight isn’t coming off as even allowing for what we know now, the sheer amount of calories they eat just through snacks must be sky high but having been there previously, I just tend to get on with my day and, should they ask for my help, I will point them in the direction of this forum and a couple of websites.

(carol mclintock) #52

No good deed goes unpunished, hey? I love the things I’ve learned on this board, one being that I will never go near a sweetener at all now - I always avoided them as they had a really bad effect on my asthma (the older ones) and now I have more reasons to give them a miss.


I have experienced similar problems at work. For the most part I’m not hungry until 3pm. But occasionally I’ll make a point of eating in front of them. They are all curious how I’m loosing so much weight.
One said people on Keto for long periods of time are crazy. “Crazy as a fox” is what I should have said. I wasn’t so diplomatic.
My health gains would never allow me to stop Keto. Most of my migraine headaches are gone. Only a few triggers left. I say eat in front of them. Enjoy your food and just be another example that there is no one size fits all diet.

(Marianne) #54

Me, too!!!

You are right; it’s just that when people make statements like that (“I could never give up fruit!”), it just sounds so absurd to me - but then they know nothing about keto and have not researched it like many of us have to know that it can be a deliverance. Just very sad.

(Marianne) #55


Oh, that’s a new one! How’s that?

(John Baumann) #56

Results say everything, without your needing to respond…the older chronologically yet younger health wise I’ve gotten the more I really don’t care what others think, say or do. Old saying back home in south Louisiana, “I’m like T-Boo’s duck, I just don’t give a quack about others opinions” LOL or & I think this is attributed to Napoleon Hill to paraphrase “I will not allow the negative opinions of other to affect me”

Only things I concern myself with is how I feel and look and results, blood tests/lab tests. Just be and do you. Laissez le Bon Temps Rouler

(Cat Gilliland) #57

If I want a beer with dinner, I drink Michelob ultra. 2g carbs. it’s crap, but is better than blowing my diet.
generally, I prefer a dry red wine.

(Dirty Lazy Keto'er, Sucralose freak ;)) #58

Huh ? I don’t think hardly anyone pays any attention to what I eat. My GF does Keto too. The few who do know what I’m eating, are following me one by one, into eating Keto themselves. Another buddy was asking me about my Keto bread recipe yesterday… Not for him just yet, but his wife. He then went on to say that he might have to try Keto soon too.

If anybody ever said anything negative to me about Keto, I could easily laugh that off. In my 56 years, I’ve never followed a way of eating which worked so well for me, or was so easy… Heck, second nature for me to follow.

(Richard Hanson) #59

Hi Bob,

Eating is often a highly social behavior. People often congregate to consume, and when people interact with each other there will often be an emotional context. Think of all the vegans who believe they are morally superior because they don’t eat anything with a face. How many vegans are just crying for attention? Look at me … look at me.

My mother, bless her heart, can’t order at a restaurant without half a dozen special requests. It makes her feel good about herself, superior, as special as her special food.

I think tribalism is just a natural part of human behavior and people divide themselves into groups based on far more trivial criteria then what they eat. Vegans have their trade conventions, as do polio, keto, carnivore, kosher, organic, …, dietary adherents.

This very forum is symptomatic of this type of human behavior.

A great many people are heavily invested in what they eat, they find validation from those who eat the same way, and they feel somewhat challenged by someone else who eats differently. Shared food choices become a social binder within the tribe and a way to determine who belongs and who is excluded.

When I eat, anywhere, I try very hard not to be that Vegan making a huge production out of how special and moral are their dietary choices, crying desperately for attention. If there is nothing that I can eat then no big deal, I can just sit and be pleasant, greatly enjoying the time with friends. It is not like it is going to hurt me to skip a meal, or a week of meals.

Eating with friends and family is an important part of life, but I think it is the shared experience that is significant, not what we choose to eat as individuals. I would focus on the former and resist that impulse to make eating all about dietary choices. Small minded, fragile, people who are offended by what you eat, who need to have their dietary choices validated, … well kindness goes a long ways.

Keto for Life (how ironic :))