On the edge of failure

(Family, Honor, Freedom) #1

48 hours into what is supposed to be a 5-7 day fast. Even checked into a hotel for a few days just to isolate for this and to get some work done. (I have a ton of hotel points.)

I’m in my hotel room, it’s 2:30 in the morning, and I’m losing it. I want to break the fast now. I have some bone broth with me. I could do that now and then, at 6:30, they’ll be serving eggs in the hotel club.

I’m not hungry, like ghrelin hungry, I just love food. It’s satisfying, it’s entertaining, it makes me happy - for awhile at last.

But I really need this fast. I don’t want to go into detail, but my health right now almost demands it. After, I MUST control my eating.

I think the longer the fast goes, the better I will be about eating right afterward.

But if I break it now…well, there are also potato chips and the like just a short walk away. They’re even free. Hard to turn down free.
…
Just checked blood ketones: 0.9. Getting there.

It’s been easy to not eat up to now. The point of the hotel was to remove temptation. Instead, I seem to have put myself right in the middle of it.

Just writing this has helped. I’m reminded of why I have to do this. I think I’ll make it. The alternative is, literally, too painful.

If you read through my rambling, thank you.
I hope the stream of consciousness style wasn’t too off-putting. If you have advice, I’d love to hear it.

#2

Normally I would say stop but if you NEED it, that’s different especially that it seems it’s just some mental, emotional desire, not your body warning you about a real need for food (I always heed to that. it’s bad to go against your body’s wishes when it’s smart enough and really knows what it wants and needs).

I understand the allure but if you need your fast, can’t you think over your reasons, thinking about pros and cons? If I manage to stop and THINK, I usually lose temptations without a good reason. If it makes my life worse and I see it, it’s not hard to say no to free and even tasty stuff. You can eat something nice later when your fast is over. You hopefully have so much time to live and eat, waiting a bit shouldn’t be that hard as long as your body is on board and you aren’t painfully hungry or weak or anything like that. Be thankful if you don’t have that.

So I would do that, talking to myself, thinking. Free chips would have exactly zero chance if I am determined, knowing what I should do and my body let me be. But it requires some serious determination, I personally can’t and don’t want to resist temptation - BUT I am fine without fasts, actually. If I needed one, I probably could do it, a high level of determination is hard for me to get but it’s powerful.
But talking myself out of certain items, I did that zillion times. So that would work with chips, not with eggs, focusing on the importance of fast would be needed there. For a tiny bit and then focusing to something very much not food related, not even the lack of it…

I am a hedonist. Such a good reason to fast would kill all my temptations. I hate being in any pain. Some early food can’t be that special, not even for me. Try not to think about the joy of eating, more like the joy of doing what you planned and getting its benefit.
But it seems you already do that, maybe not the joy but avoiding the pain but that may work too.

Good luck!

(Family, Honor, Freedom) #3

Hey, great reply - you make some good points.

The one thing that stands out to me is, “can’t you think over your reasons, thinking about pros and cons?”

I can, I do. Historically, though, it’s not always enough. Someone once told me I have a self destructive streak. 25 years later, I’m still unsure if he was right or not. But it does seem so, sometimes.

I think I’m ok for the night. Hopefully I can get back to sleep and everything will be good in the morning.

Thanks for the reply - it helps to read another perspective.

#4

Nothing wrong with that, we’re supposed to be able to enjoy food, it’s the connection to loving food, but then eating garbage that people have the issue with.

Don’t know your details, but no, you don’t NEED to fast if it’s causing you all the mental torture. Doesn’t matter if you’re insulin resistant, doesn’t matter if you’re full diabetic, fatty liver, insert reason here. You can accomplish your goals without it if you choose, and quickly for that. Fasting can have some positive benefits, but they can also be had without it.

On the controlling your eating, I’m a formerly 100+lb overweight diabetic binge eater, I get it. But you’re fighting yourself to fast, going through hell doing it, having to stay in a hotel to isloate, how many blatant signs does it take for you to see this isn’t sustainable at all?

(Allie) #5

Agree 100% with @lfod14 on this

(Rossi Luo) #6

I have the same feeling as yours, every evening after dinner, if I was at home, I would want to eat, actually I was not hungry, just want to eat something for the satisfaction, I believe that is about mental things.

(Family, Honor, Freedom) #7

Not sustainable -well it only needs to be sustained a few days for me to see it as a success.

But, even if you’re right and it’s not sustainable, what’s the alternative? If you’re talking to someone who gives in on a short project, what odds would you give they’ll stick to a longer project? (Short fast vs lifetime of controlling eating)

#8

I can relate. It may not be enough but you should do your best, give you the best chances! And in my life, self-persuasion goes a long way, that’s why I wrote whatever I wrote. Focus on the desired thing, not what you miss.

And indeed, writing here may help, it’s minuscule for me but I need every tiny help when I try to push my little but still longer than usual fasts! I usually fail but I don’t have your good reasons, I just want some autophagy, chill, showing I can… I am patient. I had better results when I joined the monthly group fast after my inner pep-talks and getting ready… The others aren’t with me, it’s mostly an inner fight BUT it still helped a tiny little bit. I react well to timed things like that. The chance was there and I had to wait for a month to things align that well again so I was more reluctant to give it up.
Eating and fasting right involved a bunch of such mental games and persuasion in my case. I am not the type to “toughen up” or “be strong”, I already wrote about my inability to resist real temptation (a baby one is one thing. or a serious one where I can think just a minute and realize it’s a bad idea… my temptation simply disappears then, it’s cool), I needed my own helping things.

(Rebecca ) #9

I have to agree with Ifod.

#10

We don’t know the situation. I worked with the assumption the OP knows what they are talking about and NEEDS fasting. It is a thing and anyway, nothing showed me it’s more than some slight mental problem, I mean liking food a tad too much, I am guilty too, thankfully my health didn’t suffer noticeably. And chips being tempting as being free? It’s nothing like the body and mind NEEDS fuel to function well to me.
And of course we want to eat. I fancy food a lot but it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for me to indulge. And I am healthy just fat, some people may not be happy with the status quo for 1-2 more decades or something. Keto isn’t a miracle, not for everyone of us, at least, it didn’t help with my goals and I am not the only one.

Someone having a serious health reason to fast vs “2 days passed, I love food and there are free chips”… I still don’t think it’s the situation one should break fast. Of course, I don’t know much about the circumstances, no one of us here do.

But I have a question, @davemha. How experienced are you with fasting? Jumping into a long one with no experience is rarely a good idea. I know some people try to overdo fasting. It’s fine to go for a longer one (I did it out of curiosity once, no regrets ;)) as long as you know what are you doing or at least stop when there is some proper warning sign. Don’t fast if you start to feel awful, get painfully hungry, too weak etc. Being mentally unhappy with a fast, yep, that happens to many of us even when we know the fast is the best we could do.

(Chuck) #11

I haven’t try a long term fast, I get my needed results with intermittent fasting of 16 to 22 hours a day. I try to only eat a single meal a day. I give myself some flexibility due to my wife’s and my schedules. Breakfast has never been something I just have to have, but for my wife she believes it is mandatory. I now prefer my first food of the day to be my own creation smoothie then later dinner. I don’t eat anything after dinner which is before 6pm until noon or later when ever possible. I have found strength and energy is there for me to do my walks while fasting is a feel of peace and freedom. But I am not someone that worships food, or has to have flavored drinks either. Give me plan water or unsweetened black tea and I am good. My intermittent fasting are what is called clean, I intake only plain water or unsweetened plan black tea. I don’t do artificial sweeteners at all.

(Allie) #12

Forcing a fast when you’re feeling bad both physically and mentally is never going to be good for anyone.

(Robin) #13

Well, hating this fasting experience is as likely to sabotage you as not fasting.
As you already know, it’s a head game… an inside job. For all of us.

Personally, I would stop the fast and go as low carb as possible. Carbs create physical cravings. And cravings lead to those free chips.

Think of yourself as an addict. You are addicted to carbs. recovered addicts understand sometimes you just concentrate on this day, this hour, whatever. Stop worrying about tomorrow or the next day.

Additionally, keep reminding yourself that you are actually doing it! And if you give in now, you already know the next attempt is not guaranteed.
So if you need to break the fast and simply go very low carb… that’s a grand choice.

Good middle of the night ramble, by the way. Sharing your thoughts and real times with others is also a huge benefit.

(Bacon is a many-splendoured thing) #14

If you need to eat, eat. Just make sure that it’s low-carbohydrate, high-fat food. Have bacon and eggs and sausage, or a steak, or some pork roast. The more you yield to eating carbohydrates, the more you will crave carbohydrates. That’s my experience, anyway.

(Family, Honor, Freedom) #15

Exactly. It’s not a physical need, it’s weakness of character.

I have done several, years ago, with the longest being 11 days. And, indeed, my second fast I broke early because I wasn’t feeling well.

I’m good to go for now. I appreciate everyone’s input. To those who feel I should listen to my body - I agree. But last night was not my body talking.

It’s a sunny day with work to be done in a pleasant place! Cheers!

(KM) #16

Just hoping you had a great day. I hear what everyone’s saying, but sometimes the way to get through something hard is to take pride in doing it, to build yourself and your determination with the knowledge of how much you’ve done. You’re the only one who can decide if this is worth the sacrifice, but if so, then congratulations and be proud of yourself for what you’ve accomplished so far, whether you continue or not.

(Doug) #17

The moment often passes. :+1:

In the last 6 years I’ve done about 40 fasts of 3 or more days, the longest being 12. Never got to the point where true hunger made me stop. After a longer one, later shorter ones usually are easier. But there have been times when I quit “just because” - because ‘just wasn’t feelin’ it’ somehow, or there was a party or a dinner planned. Or, worst of all I’m going to say, because I was bored.

We’re all weak and strong, all mixed up and not always the same. The actions you’ve taken are because you’re not all that weak. You know the benefits of fasting, and you know yourself. Not every day nor every hour will go as planned; we cycle mentally and psychologically - sometimes the enemy is ourselves - but even then, what will be? A patient regrouping? We are in this for the long haul.

(Chuck) #18

After reading through the post I have to make my comments. First I do intermittent fasting not long term fasting. My fasting goal is 16 + hours of fasting each and everyday. I try for longer fasting hours, and some days I can manage as long as 22 hours. I have been experimenting with what I eat and have determined that my supper or for some dinner has to be heavy on fat and protein for me to make the longer hours of fasting. If my supper is too heavy on carbs even great real carbs I will end up breaking my fast due to being light headed. I also know that I have had issues with being hypoglycemia in the past, and as I am slimming down and experimenting with what carbs I can eat and the amount of carbs I seem to have the feeling of becoming hyperglycemia at times.

#19

I completely agree (well maybe there are very rare exceptions and it depends how bad. most people have some hardships when fasting, at least sometimes). I saw no hint at feeling bad either physically or mentally yet. And even I would push it if I had a really good reason to fast.

(B Creighton) #20

There are definitely health benefits of fasting. Autophagy is a primary one. It will help reset your insulin and sugar to healthy levels if that is an issue. I used 24 hr intermittent fasting very successfully 3 times/wk last year - my main reason was to promote stem cell growth though rather than weight loss.

So, I am definitely not one to tell you to stop fasting. However, I wanted to start a new way of eating for myself, which is what I concentrated on rather than just losing weight. I also wanted to avoid trying to lose weight by relying on calorie restriction, since that seems to drive down the body’s metabolism after 4-5 months through production of reverse thyroid.

In short I now eat foods incorporating more MCTs, grass fed beef and lamb, and wild seafood. Thus, I really enjoy my food, while maintaining a healthy weight level and BP - no “strength” or massive “willpower” required. Eating protein rich foods is very satiating.

So, I don’t want to discourage you, as it sounds as if good things are happening, but I know for me, I simply had to take it upon myself to make more of my food, and avoid buying all the processed foods. That way they are not a temptation. I live in a state where I can get raw milk, and so recently have begun making my own yogurt - I just made a gallon of it - no added sugar, no pasteurization, no degradation of vitamins and enzymes, and the best way to minimize oxidized cholesterol I am going to get from yogurt.