You make me teary-eyed… In a good way…
I did such a thing to a best friend once… I wasn’t sure about my skills but I had good intentions galore and what could we lose…?
Best wishes for Grace and @MeganNZ! 
MOOvember Carnivore
Shinita
#306
JJFiddle
(Judy Thompson)
#307
@MeganNZ I know I said this before but I’ll say it again - you’re such a good mommy! Crate training has never captivated me and I’ve never attempted it but I see its value when a dog has to be immobilized with an injury. Grace and Lulu are lucky to have you!
@Fangs Your TG Tiny Tim story is hilarious! How like a kid to suddenly come up the day before and insist on something that’s impossible to get. Glad she was satisfied with the little chicken after all.
I followed the fantastic link you posted a few days ago. I love this list!!! I’ve read a few articles from it now, and hope to keep “Just meat” in my sights for constant reading and watching! What a wonderful resource.
@Shinita “my vulnerable super sleepy peckish zombie state” Oh man I’ve been there so many times in my life! I know it’s almost impossible to avoid it. Hubby was hoping one time that I’d stop this carnivore “nonsense” and I said, I would gain back all the weight and all the arthritis and all the blood sugar in the next 10 minutes. That is all that keeps me on track.
Also - I REALLY understand your description of amateur artists who get such acclaim when their work is not really all that good. We have the same feeling about musicians here in the TX hill country who learned 3 chords on guitar in high school and started writing songs, and are compared to us - professionally trained, 50 year professional musicians. To many people we are all in the same ball park, same for comparison. You’re a professional artist - I feel your pain!
Today was a nice day. We thought we might be able to cancel as heavy rain in the forecast might keep us from getting home up the windy dippy roads that can sometimes flood. But the forecast cleared and we went to San Antonio, then stayed for dinner and after, to visit. I chanced turkey and a couple deviled eggs. There were spices and herbs and in the eggs, something like relish which at one time delicious, only tastes gross and weird to me. But I chased it with a couple glasses of water and the funniest part is, nobody seemed to notice at all that all I had on my plate was turkey and a deviled egg! That just shows to go ya, as Mom used to say. Nobody sees past the end of their nose. Fine with me and perfect! As there was no explaining to do.
Now we’re home. No gig tonight, and tomorrow the rain may break out in earnest. We’re working the usual restaurant and bar gigs tomorrow night and Saturday night. It’s all good 
Naghite
(Michael)
#308
Food today was again crazy large amount. I am definitely over eating in anticipation of fasting afterwards. Anyway, 452g protein, 362 g fat, 26 g carbs, total cal 5172.
Breakfast
Lunch
Snack
Dinner
Snack
Plus a non carnivore snack.
Not sure how my stomach is eating this much , but it is!
@MeganNZ Give your dog a big hug and lick for me. Sorry to hear, I normally cry more when a pet does than a human. Seems odd to write, but it has shown true historically
MeganNZ
(Megan)
#309
Thank you so much everyone for your kind replies, I’m moved to tears feeling your support. Day 5 today, she remains stable and some strength is returning. I am amazed she accepts laying on my bed with her freedom restrained by a leash, or her in her crate, without a single complaint. She is such a good dog. She is also a very special dog in many ways; relational, empathic, loving and super smart. And beautiful to look at. I love her a lot.
Because Grace can be a real fomo Queen and I need to keep her calm I have only taken Lulu out once in the past week and play sessions have been short and low key. You’d never know it. She is her usual calm, accepting, wonderful self. I have scored myself an amazing rottie girl. Most 11 month old pups would be going a bit nuts by now.
Fangs
#310
best part of the holiday sounds like a nice time!!
-------------hope everyone enjoyed their Tday if you celebrated!
Here is my Tiny Tim lil’ sad chicken. hubby was starved and kid grabbed a decent amt which left me with less than I wanted so I ate up 2 burgers from the fridge too. Overall that lil’ chick did well for us 
don’t be fooled, it even looked bigger to me when cooked but honestly it was a little chick but yummy!!
simple day. told all in family ‘eating scrap’ day. no more big food around right now. I am SO over it in the house ya know. Too much food focus. Today for me is 2 nice pork chops and eating ‘other leftover’ chicken breast I need finished out of the fridge. Done deal. I also kept all big fat/juice drippings from the whole chicken which I will slather all over the chick breast I need to finish later. Yum
ZC venture on. Dec is hitting us fast now.
Name? Maybe DelishDecember? or ?? what ya’ll got, I am kinda brain dead all these years on picking names HA
Shinita
#311
I am no professional artist, I am not even an artist (I am VERY self critical at that. I know others call them beginner artists right away, not me :D) because I put almost no effort into art nowadays 
I am just a stubborn one since decades and I have some tiny skills… And too little imagination.
I am basically a programmer and designer but drawing/painting (especially digital though it makes things harder, not just oh so easier like most people, even traditional painters imagine. digital or not, the basics are the same and both has pros and cons) called me at some point when I was 27. Why? I don’t know. It’s such a bad fit but I can’t stop wanting to be better. Wishing. If I had real want, I would work more on it.
Praise usually annoys me as I see my flaws. But I am extremely self-critical and I take into consideration all the time I DON’T hone my artistic skills despite I should. Or do something useful, maybe where I can use my actual talents… I consider myself an antitalent at drawing and painting but it never stopped people from becoming good. Not great, genial, imaginative but good. That’s almost all about hard work and passion. Of course, talents help a lot. I saw talented painters after a few months of learning… And I saw very much not talented ones after years. My first years were awful, only my stubbornness kept me afloat.
But people praise (almost?) ANYONE. Even very beginner ones who have no idea about colors, anatomy or anything else. It’s so cringy.
And I can appreciate nice visions showed in a not yet skilled way. I see beauty at various levels. I praised very flawed works where I saw something well done (and criticized the other parts and got thanks, I so loved being a critic on an art forum, there was a section for critiques. only a few people got butthurt, all the others liked the feedback and indeed, there were great artists giving great ones. but I could point out some flaws myself). But some are just very bad at some point (fine, I started there too but didn’t show to anyone) and they still get praise.
But not everyone is a total amateur even at judging things. And I personally want to impress my inner critic (oh my, my work is cut out for me 
when I get a bit better, my inner critic gets better too and it’s always before me with a few steps). And then people who has taste and eyes… And then everyone That’s nice too.
And I want to know things. Able to paint anything I want. I can do certain simple things impressively if I put my mind on it but achieving harder things feels better.
I feel more passionate after writing these, thanks Sometimes I forget my old desires and that’s bad. I need passion and an audience to create. I am not one of the ones with an inner fire who keep painting even if no one is interested or just see the result.
Shinita
#312
Alvaro brought only 20 eggs (and I eat them in big amounts again…) - we will buy much more tomorrow - and 2 bigger than usual young rabbits!!! I am looking forward to have rabbit stew since a week, the thought never wandered too far too long from me since
Mild flavor but oh so lovely
Karen18
(Karen)
#313
Perhaps the neck chops needed a long slow cook. Tougher meat i like to slow cook all night long. Sounds nice though.
Karen18
(Karen)
#314
Last night before, a little peckish so grabbed a tin of sardines. They were nice … I never fancy them but they always seem to go down well.
Up early this morning, before 8am. Went straight outside to read and have my coffee. Another day with the alarm set for things I had to do at certain times. Spent an hour outside then came in and decided to do an upper body workout at home instead of going to the gym. I hate having to squish things in and rush about so I did the workout upstairs on the landing with dumb bells . They’re only fairly light, no more than 10kg so it was lighter than if I had worked out at the gym. Not stressing over it though it was still a good workout. Then i went back out side for a further 40 minutes or
so to start a fresh book as I finished one of the others first thing. Still loving everyone I read, feeling like I am being led to each one. Bath and dolly up time at 11am and the off to Boley Park, Lichfield for the tea dance. Had a lovely afternoon and was on the floor for the most part and catching up with people in between. Some people do have a habit of starting a conversation with you just as a dance starts that you want to get up to and I have no probs getting up and doing some of the dances on my own if there isn’t a free partner. I am getting so good at not stressing though and taking it all in my stride… very proud of what I have achieved.
Picked up some sliced topside beef at the Co-op to eat on the way home. Ate one pack, a bit dry and tasteless so left the other pack for when I got home to sprinkle some salt on and ate it with a bit of cheddar. Then I put the chicken wings in oven and it was near 8.15pm by the time I got eating them. Left about 5 for tomorrow.
This little fella came and sat watching me intently this morning, I was sitting very still and he started preening himself so while he was distracted I quickly and quietly pick up my phone to nab this piccie.
Shinita
#315
This afternoon I thought how lovely to have some break from meat eating (I eat some, of course but the amount plummeted drastically).
This night my desire for meat came back. Well it didn’t last very long (I ate little meat yesterday but more than today. so it was less than 2 days)…
(The rabbit is another thing entirely. It’s special, I gladly eat it when I don’t want my normal meat. But now pork sounds a nice idea… So I had all my leftovers. It wasn’t much but I had an egg and a slice of cheese too. One of my favs. I try to behave but on low-meat days I tend to eat some cheese.
When I will stop these night eatings? I wasn’t hungry, per se… But it was nice to have a few bites. I can’t handle the lack of nice satiation AND entering the kitchen. And I can’t not enter the kitchen at night when I go to the bathroom.)
@Karen18: Oh a squirrel, so very different from ours! Too bad the tail isn’t on display!
Ours are tiny, sometimes red but usually black! (And I just see them disappear in the distance, shy little guys.) I don’t know why this area has black ones, Hungary is full with red ones. But I more often saw black ones or at least black tailed ones.
There is an old children’s tale about a very special squirrel and his adventures. All of the others were red but he had a black tail. Almost all of the squirrels here is that special
Maybe I talked about our squirrels before… I like the topic. They are so very cute. But so many animals are… To me.
I started to make my Halloween-Christmas tree. I never had such a thing but I made a Halloween one a year ago and it’s such a good base… Today I added 2 spiders with spiderweb. It turned out that the cheap lil spiderweb one can buy at supermarkets before Halloween, that thing is pretty good for a Christmas tree. it’s impressive when I stretch them between branches of the tiny plastic tree…
It will be more Halloween than Christmas I suppose… But the spiderwebs is too cool on it.
It has shiny lil balls and an angel on top (with a bloody neck and a separated, very dead looking head). Not much more Christmas, maybe the sleigh, I couldn’t halloweenify that one. The lil girl (with angel wings) got a creepy smile at least. And there are bats And now spiders. I didn’t know what I need for my tree. I need much more spiders I think but the black ones aren’t visible enough, not even the big ones. Can I make spiders…? Surely if I find some proper material like some shiny wire…
Don’t mind me.
It was foreseeable I can’t stay away. But I am still trying.
JJFiddle
(Judy Thompson)
#316
@Shinita [quote=“Shinita, post:311, topic:116935”]
I need passion and an audience to create. I am not one of the ones with an inner fire who keep painting even if no one is interested or just see the result.
[/quote]
Yep Shinita that almost defines you as an artistic personality. We’re the same. A night like this one where people weren’t listening to us, weren’t hanging on every note, those are hard nights for us both. I too am super sensitive to reactions by my audience. If they’re appreciative, I’m over the moon. If they can’t ADORE me and my playing, the evening feels like an absolute failure - even if I do know better.
carnivoor2
(Vic)
#317
I don’t care about an Audience at all.
Sometimes in a social setting with friends and familie I play Piano and sing for them but couldn’t even tell if they really like it or are just being polite with their applause.
My passion is more in creating weird sound on Analog synthesizers and then compose music with the sounds. I play together with 4 like minded friends but no audiences allowed.
Shinita
#319
When it’s music, I am different too. But I never wanted to be serious with music/singing, I just enjoyed doing it. it was nice that people liked out choir and it gave us positive things but it was precious without an audience already.*
But painting is different.
So apparently, it’s not just the one in question, we totally may be one kind in one type or art and another when it’s about something else…
*Getting better at painting, learning more about anatomy etc. is precious to me all in itself but to go and create a painting, I just need to know I will show it off to people. Somehow the creation is hard without it. Just reading and watching and inhaling art, that is fine alone.
Organ meat newbie
Naghite
(Michael)
#320
Food today, another big day. Seems I have grown used to eating such large amounts in a day. I wonder how long it will take for my intake to fall next week when I start eating daily again. Anyway, 369 g prot, 433 g fat, 28 g carbs with 5483 calories today. Woah.
JJFiddle
(Judy Thompson)
#321
Midnight here, just home from the gig. A wonderful evening, a very good day all around.
Both students canceled this morning, so we went through some music, and then I worked on hymn tunes for tomorrow’s church, writing and transposing. We played the restaurant and the response wasn’t bad, but then went to the bar for the 3rd hour as usual and the response was unbelievable~ we’ve experienced that there before but this was really great. People sang along to every tune, made tons of requests, and in general they had a wonderful time. So satisfying to have a happy involved audience and have every tune hit home.
This morning about ten, I took a break from our rehearsing and ate 2 hard boiled eggs.
This afternoon I cut a slice of pork butt for lunch and it was plenty food - high fat.
Just now I fixed 2 slices ground sausage and 2 eggs in ghee. A good day and now time to wind down and turn in!
Tomorrow morning, church, then the roadhouse for picker’s circle (we think - will wait for a phone call, maybe will take the afternoon off!)
- List item
MeganNZ
(Megan)
#322
Grace went dramatically downhill late yesterday afternoon and I didn’t know if she would make it through the night. I made the heart wrenching decision today to let her go. She was still fighting so hard to live but her fighting was just prolonging her inevitable and not too far off death. A vet came to our home today and euthanized her. It was the best possible death for her. Sedated first so she fell asleep in our arms being stroked and loved and talked to. Then when we were ready the vet injected the IV anaesthetic and she died.
It has all happened so quickly. Ruby and I are heart broken. But I did the right thing by her, my last and maybe greatest act of love.
Rest In Peace Grace.
27 July 2011 - 27 November 2022.
Shinita
#324
Yes, it’s better to save poor thing from some more time spent in suffering.
RIP Grace! Her memories surely will live on for a long time more…
Fangs
#325
wow JJ. It must be so satisfying your career in life is to make others happy in your work. Most slug away in cubicles and work for the man but in the end you guys just send out fine toe stomping singin’ music. Love that!
@MeganNZ
Sending hugs and condolences. I know. Been thru it also with so many horses, dogs and cats and more. It is hard. Just remember all good times All one can do. You did the best you could for her. Thank you for sharing your journey with her.
------------------------so I ate a little taco meat last night. ugh. only a few tablespoons thank heavens cause I got some heartburn pretty fast. only a 1 Tums correction. bleck. Told family they can’t have tacos anymore for dinner and they said, nope, that ain’t happening, YOU JUST stop taking spoonfuls of the meat HAHA Yes they are right of course.
got 2 big ol’ pork chops for today later and not sure on dinner.
big big rain here. I ‘think’ hubby is thinking eating out…shoot me…so will check on that and always steer toward a restaurant that suits me best or just eat well before. Do have more burger and chicken defrosted so I am covered for today.
first meal easy. second meal possibly up for family changes kinda. Eh, been there done that, will do fine LOL
Any Dec names coming to mind? I had DelishDecember but maybe DedicatedZC’ember? help someone HA