I got cat called for the first time in YEARS yesterday. I’be only lost around 20 of the 70 I’m aiming for. While I know in my heart I am looking a lot different because clothing is falling off and I am wearing things that have been in the back of the closet, my eyes and brain haven’t caught up. My husband has been making comments about all the change as well. I do hope someday I will see what they are seeing. And it’s really not that I hate my body or hate being over weight, I’m just so used to seeing one thing that I can’t see anything else!!
Keto, body image, and dysmorphia
Abrane
(Alex Dipego)
#42
I keep finding myself in this cycle of getting to this point of “I’m in my zone I’m good to go” then I fall off and binge like a mad man mindlessly and before I hear the “eat fat” comments I eat 250g+ daily. It’s not a physical issue but a mental one. This hurts my image of myself so much that I give up mentally at times despite knowing how much better keto lets me feel. I’m still fighting these issues but I know once I get past it I’ll be in a whole new world of amazing.
siobhan
(Siobhan)
#43
The revulsion at pictures of myself (not being uncomfortable but actual revulsion like the same feeling as seeing something you have a phobia of) is still there unfortunately after 15 kg gone… Was hoping it would magically go away lol.
But I still have a while to go, so maybe there’s still hope.
I see plenty of change in my face but not much in the body, but being around my bf for the past month has helped. He knows my general body look better than I do, so him saying there’s a definite change (more of an hourglass shape apparently) is reassuring - at least I’ll always have one fan lol. Though him constantly poking my hip bone is getting annoying lol (it was very well cushioned last time I visited).
I don’t think I’ll ever like my body though, to be honest, but I’ll be satisfied with minimal amounts of self loathing and being able to look at pictures of myself without cringing.
I haven’t reached the point where I don’t recognize myself yet either…
suzanna
(suzanna)
#44
It’s a very real problem. I’ve been working on this issue with myself. I try to catch myself when I’m feeling upset with lack of weight loss and ask, “what would someone who adores you say? Do they think I look fat and disgusting? Do I trust them on every other topic? If I love and respect this person do I think they are lying to me?” Kind of gives me a different perspective. Learning to love ourselves is so important as it’s the only way we can truly love others. I now frequently give myself love messages saying out loud what I would say to someone I’m in love with…“you feel good, you look great, I’m proud of you, I love you!” It sounds silly but it’s working for me. 
ConnorL
(Connor L)
#45
Not to be too gross, but being obese has caused me a lot of problems in the bedroom department. Both physiologically and psychologically.
And, sex and body image are some of the most important things we have going on up in our head. It has a lot to do with feeling fulfilled.
A good life is one that is secure, fulfilled, developed, connected, giving, perceiving, and artistic. But, we can’t develop, connect, give, perceive, or be artistic if we are stuck in the survival mode of trying to get fulfilled and secure. Being in bad health is probably the number one issue our civilization faces right now.
KetoKate
#47
One tip I was given a long time ago was that instead of relying on your own eyes and image, ask someone you trust to point out a stranger on the street who has a similar body type/size to you. Every now and then when I’m feeling a little lost, I ask my husband to help me out with this. I’ll point out women who I think are a similar size to me and then he’ll point out women who he views as a similar size. Respectfully, of course. The first time we did this, I was really shocked. The difference between the two was significantly noticeable (I thought I was a lot bigger than I am). It helps to give me some perspective when I’m struggling with my personal optics. I must say, I’m looking forward to the day when our views are aligned.
Charmaine-OLD
(Blyss (Old @Charmaine))
#48
I was in undergrad when i model for art classes and much to my surprise, the instructor and students appreciated my size. I’m a bit lighter now than I was then at that time. I even did hand modeling for an intensive once. It was just wild now that I reflect back to that time, they appreciated my physique and saw things in me that sparked their imaginations to place the image of me in exotic places or beautiful settings. Just wow… and yet, I still struggle - sometimes immensely in seeing myself with good eyes. I realized this past summer how much I stay covered up in an attempt to hide rolls, scars, jiggly parts, misshaped regions and all. I’m pretty sure at this point I’ve lost a solid 130lbs, yet much of my mind sees me as the 400+lbs women I used to be.
DawnH
(dawn.hakala)
#49
Not sure if this applies but the only place to say it…
I’m Heavy into strength training… Love, live it, can’t see myself without it.
My husband and I got into a decision about why it’s not pleasurable for him to go to the gym with me… The reason hurt a little… But felt good at the same time…
His response… “I’m proud of you but I want to be married to someone with a female figure… When we go to the gym (still him talking here) it’s hard for me to be there with you while other guys are there because they look at me (him) and I think they judge me as being weaker than a chick”
I can lift as much, and in some instances more than him…I don’t have a typical female physique and I like it…i get judged by others (you can tell by the looks I get, which make me giggle) but what bothers me, and not sure I can get this out of my head, but my husband judges me and seems embarrassed by my physique… he’s not so bad in early spring, late fall & winter… Why… Im fully dressed… No tank tops… Okay… Thanks for listening… So body image goes in several ways…
nicole.tolin
(Nicole Tolin)
#50
Do not and I repeat DO NOT be ashamed of your physique! Your husband judging you and telling you how it makes him feel is HIS problem. If it bothers him that much, he needs to get on it and start lifting more. Otherwise, he needs to let it go. If lifting makes you happy and healthy you can’t stop it because it makes someone else feel badly. I don’t mean any disrespect to you or your husband but it’s just bonkers that you’re letting his comments affect you not wearing certain types of clothing. Again, that’s his issue that he’s putting on you and it’s not fair.
DawnH
(dawn.hakala)
#51
Oh @nicole.tolin, I told him that as well, if it bothers him, I’m sorry, but im pretty fucken proud of how far I have come and I have ZERO desire to go backwards. He knows it’s his problem and I won’t let it be mine… I was just so annoyed by the comment… and then he wonders why I have ZERO “desire” if you know what I mean! 
I have been dealing with bum arm but Im at the point where I don’t care anymore… I’m getting back to my routine of strength training… I took a little time off to rest my arm, but screw it… I miss it and need to get back to it. My goal now, just to piss him off… build more… “embarrass” him more… I’m not, nor have I ever been embarrassed by him… and I’m annoyed my physical look makes him uncomfortable…
With this all being said, I have MS and one would think he would understand how important it is to keep my body as strong as I can… So I move on with a new goal for spring. BRING IT MO FO!!! LOL
joievawter
(joievawter)
#53
Yes, this is also a mental bit that we must overcome as well.
Mind over matter definitely comes into play here.
Keep at it. 
Jennie
(Jennie)
#54
It’s incredibly noteworthy how our physical form influences our inner self. Sometimes it seems preposterous. A body is simply the shell we use to move the “real” us from place to place. Rather transient in the grand scheme. But the way it’s shaped or functions has so much to do with our social, emotional, psychological health.[quote=“ConnorL, post:45, topic:292”]
Being in bad health is probably the number one issue our civilization faces right now.
[/quote]
It was noted in the documentary “Sugar Coated” (available on Netflix) that the U.N. says that obesity is more prevalent and dangerous than communicable diseases at this point. You’re right on.
ketomarriage4life
(In a #ketomarriage with @peggaloon)
#55
So glad this thread exists. I was starting a thread about the same topic, and it was flagged that a similar once was already made (great help, BTW)
This is going to sound really bad, but I really thought keto was going to help me with thinking I was fat. I still look in the mirror and don’t like what I see (I’m 5’6" /168cm and 132lb / 60kg). I have struggled with thinking I was overweight my whole life. Any advice or help?
This is so true. So well written.
KetoKate
#56
May I suggest watching Embrace - a gorgeous Aussie documentary. Think it’s now available on iTunes in Australia and the US.
Taryn is currently touring the UK as its now playing in theatres there, so it may be a little while before it can be downloaded. To our UK ketonites, try and get to a screening. Link to the movie preview (trailer): https://bodyimagemovement.com/embrace-the-documentary/
Jennie
(Jennie)
#57
I get it. My identity is very woven into the fabric of my physiological form. I have lots of memories that make me feel bad about the way my body IS. I think I started keto for the health reasons, but wanting to rid myself of being “fat” was also a motivator. But even that statement is obnoxious. “Being” fat. Uh, yeah, I “have” fat but that doesn’t define my state of being. It’s all way above my pay grade as far as the mind game goes. I feel like I’m only able to scratch the surface of why it toys with my emotions.
It really bothers me that we live in a culture where that’s what we see. The outer shell. Then we make calculations on a person based on that. I KNOW that a person is more than that, and I try to live in a way that pushes that agenda. Maybe there’s a part of us that can recognize beauty as physically appealing…but there’s always more. When I see an attractive person it can be noted and then I move on. I think we SEE beauty but we ADMIRE and ADORE a soul.
Advice? You’re a person of value. A person. Of value. To elaborate would take us into some pretty non keto waters, and I’d be happy to share that privately in message form. It turns into philosophy if you ask me.
And if others don’t treat you that way, that you matter (NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE) then, I say, that says more about who they are than who you are. <3 Murky waters.
Maybe someday we’ll all just be able to see one another’s souls rather than the bodies that shell them. Then maybe we can get past the superficiality that is judging the book by the cover.
beckyjoy
(Becky Searls)
#58
Agree with this (3 months later! Lol) never let anyone - a colleague, family member, spouse, boss, yourself - make you smaller - you are valuable just as you are and don’t need that! Reject it, keep calm and lift on girlfriend! 
beckyjoy
(Becky Searls)
#59
Yaaaas! Also I feel there’s a pretty great futuristic dystopian novel in there somewhere lol
birddog27
(Jennifer)
#60
Bringing this thread back up. Great topic.
I am down 60 pounds so far and probably have 30 or so to go. I was just thinking to myself that I still feel fat. Down many sizes with clothes that are way too big. It’s weird. I can “see” In the mirror that I have changed, but it really isn’t changing how I feel. Being over weight for over 25 years really sets a mental image that is going to be hard to break.