I had beautiful food with beautiful sunlight, Alvaro even held my favorite soup bowl (or whatever I want to use it for, its small size comes handy) and gave me tips*… But nope, it didn’t come out right. Oh well.
They looked perfect. And too fatty, yeah, what you expect from fried duck skin. Some contained some meat too, though.
*He said I shouldn’t use backlight here. Why, it’s FUN 
But it’s more informative otherwise so here we are…
I couldn’t resist so I had a snack, I was already hungry but this stuff has some insane satiating effect and I can’t eat too fatty things. I picked the ones with meat, added a tiny bit duck breast and fried pork… And now I am full for a while. Not for long, my hunger can’t be tricked easily. (The fact I ate so much yesterday helps, of course. I don’t expect I will eat really much today but it depends of the number and timing of my meals).
I got exactly half a pound of duck fat and these beauties. So… I didn’t actually ate almost half a duck yesterday, just meat wise as I had plenty of skin to fry today.
I think I will buy a whole duck now and then, after all. ALL pieces are perfectly crunchy, it’s amazing. Tasty too. I just need some meat with them.
And we have sunlight ALL DAY too. I walked too much yesterday so I only took a tiny walk and did this and that around the house. How can I make me start weightlifting again…? My arms aren’t in top shape and my press bench isn’t at its place as I redid the floor. I could do my fav arm exercises but when I tried, I was weak as a kitten and it did bad to my spirit. But I will resume my little training already 
Carby ice cream. Ew. That’s so not tempting to me I figured out the Perfect Ice Cream (taste wise) in December… It has honey, obviously, all my perfect sweets has it as it’s so extremely tasty…
All my ice creams are so inferior compared to that… So I don’t eat ice cream for a long time now, no matter how useful it is when I am hungry and can’t stomach anything else (but I need to have pretty low supplies for that. and no pork, probably. I never let that happen).
[…]
Another small meal. This stuff is super effective It’s great with meat but it puts my appetite into the negative very quickly.
But I had an egg pudding! I searched it in the OxtoberFest thread, now the recipe is in my most recent cooking notebook! Why i didn’t do that lately? It works when I don’t want the usual simple egg dishes… And it’s pudding. I like puddings.
It started with the cream. Whenever we have lots of cream (so I opened a bag or box… it’s 200-250ml of cream, how could I use it all up in mere days without being all crazy and not really hedonistic? :D) I ask Alvaro for help. So he makes his pudding. It’s obviously like all the other sweets of his, lots of starch mixed with some sugar. Eaten with more sugar or in the ideal case chocolate or cream. It’s good he stopped eating added sugar 10 years ago, I would worry for him.
But we run out of the specific starch so I decided to make some proper pudding for him.
He knows NOTHING like John Snow. He was surprised that normal pudding (not my pudding, every ancient pudding and even every modern pudding made the right way, at least here. maybe some folks far away have other traditions) contains EGGS. What else would they contain I wonder. Of course they have eggs. Just like ice cream, that starts with eggs too (for some reason, modern homemade ice cream is based on cream and eggs are often omitted. in the old famous traditional cookbook I have read as a kid, eggs were needed for ice cream. but pudding really demands it).
He was very scandalized when I told him my egg pudding has duck soup in it. Yeah, he has these preconceptions about a pudding being sweet, I wasn’t surprised. It was made for myself:
{I lost the CF card somewhere so no pic yet. But it’s egg pudding, nothing interesting, just a patterned stuff. Little duck pieces, little orange fat spots.}
But as I wanted a pudding to use up the leftover cream, I made such a thing too, with nice spices. And sweetener as he wouldn’t touch it otherwise.
Egg pudding is lovely.
{Another pic is missing featuring my sweet egg pudding with clove pieces and wrinkles. It seems it does that if I don’t eat it up right away. But it was mostly for Alvaro and he didn’t want to eat yet. }
Alvaro thinks it’s meh (well I am not a big fan either, I preferred the meat soup one. but I didn’t want a dessert at all) and he wants his starch mixed with sugar pudding back. I’ve read most of the puddings from my cookbook (1955) and all had many eggs. It just upset him… sigh
And he said he eats way too much animal protein (backslash of 18+ meaty days? we don’t eat more eggs than usual for sure). Hm. It’s not like I force him or keep him from eating all the plants he eats each and every day and it’s not little (the hundreds of grams of carbs per day must come from somewhere).
Oh well, more meat and eggs for me in the near future I guess. He probably will jump the cheese when we get some, he loves cheese.
It’s an easy day, fried duck skin and fatty pork ensure I don’t feel my food lacking.
And that’s good. It’s horrible when I am hungry and even meat can’t help because it’s not the right type - or I don’t want meat at all (but I can avoid that now I think. I never get bored of ALL type of meat at the same time)… It’s rare but quite annoying and tiring so I don’t want such a day every month! Once a year is acceptable I guess.
It’s after sunset now. The weather was perfect, nice clean air, sunshine… I was out little but it was nice.
I will have a third meal as well as I barely ate this far and I feel it’s not perfect satiation yet, just negative appetite due to the fatty stuff, no matter how totally enjoyable it was.
{In the end it was a few bites and 2 coffees only. I stop drinking coffee again, I run out of cream.}
Living alone… I can’t even imagine it anymore… It surely would help a bit with my woe (well, a lot. I simply wouldn’t have more carbs than some radishes or poppy seeds around me) but I am content with what I have now. It’s funnier and more challenging this way. And I like challenges. Even if I fail to some extent almost all the time. And I wouldn’t like to be alone, I liked that at some point but it’s in the past. Alvaro never lived alone, he’s younger than me and his workplace was in the same city as his Mom’s flat.
[…]
I am very satiated now. 0.3 pounds of meat for today (almost exclusively pork shoulders) but I ate fried skin too. A bit too fatty day so slight nausea.
I surely will be hungrier tomorrow.
ok ok ok…stop the whine. get the mind back in its safe zc place. That amazes me at my age now, 59, I can whine so darn well! 
Even I hate when I whine 
Gosh, get over it! 
but when I type something out in a support thread like this, it makes it real…a real deal to literally deal with and conquer.
nearly ended up in the mud and cow 
