Is Keto food hurting my non- keto Husband?


(Tara) #1

Hi there! I’m new here and I haven’t been able to find an answer to my concerns. (Apologies, if it’s already been posted, or if I posted in the wrong spot)

I’ve been Keto so very last summer. My husband is not. I love the food and am the only one who cooks in my house. While my husband really likes the food, he’ll put the currys over white rice, put the meatballs in pita bread, or pour maple syrup over my almond flour waffles.

He’s not healthy. Outside of working, he only plays video games, browses the internet, and naps. He’s a TOFI (thin outside, fat inside) and all his weight is in his gut. (He’s 38, 5’9” 175lbs, slight build)

I really thought I could get him on board with keto, but after nine months, I started to lose hope. I worry what eating high fat could do to someone who never uses fat for energy. Should I dissuade him from eating my keto foods?

Health can be a touchy subject for us. For years I was obese and he never complained or suggested I try to lose weight. I’m at a healthy weight now, and plan to stay keto indefinitely.


#2

Hi Tara - This is tricky! And yes, generally high-fat AND high-carb is not a great combination. If he were very active it might not be an issue - with different forms of starches, that’s basically a moderate carb version of paleo, which works beautifully for a lot of people - but it’s not an ideal way of eating for someone who is sedentary. And him being TOFI makes it even more challenging, since it’s often hard for thin folks to register that they might have some health issues that could be addressed with food.

I would vote for talking about the science of it with him - in the context of your own thoughts and discoveries - without focusing specifically on his eating or health.

On the practical side, you could keep meals focused mostly on the protein and add more of your fat on the side (so that he’s getting a bit less of it). I don’t know if that’s do-able…

A lot of folks on here have similar challenges so they’ll likely chime in with more suggestions.

Congratulations on your success!!!


(Consensus is Politics) #3

To be quite candid. Yes. Eating high carb diet means high insulin. High insulin means no fat burning, just fat storage. So yes, high fat with high carbs is unhealthy.


(Carl Keller) #4

I totally understand that eating high carbs with fat is asking for weight gain and hormonal chaos, but is it truly better to eat 100% garbage instead of 50% single, item whole foods (that happen to be high in fat) and 50% crap? He certainly isn’t getting the benefits you are but least his diet isn’t 100% crap.

I was a 50/50 person and I didn’t start putting on weight until I was 40. I’m pretty sure I would have been creeping toward obesity at a younger age if I exclusively ate junk.


(Full Metal KETO AF) #5

Hi Tara, ketogenic foods combined with a high carb diet is like the SAD on steroids. Very tough situation indeed.

Since discussing this with him isn’t an attack on obesity but a true concern for his general health I think this is an important discussion to have with a life partner. While you are individuals you’re also a team that looks out for each other’s best interests hopefully. This is an important and relevant subject to discuss at this time in life before more damage is done and true health complications set in.

It sounds like he’s in denial about his lifestyle much like I was. I would have loved it if anyone gave two :poop::poop: about me in my mid thirties but my partner was less tolerant as chronic pain took away my good energy and rather than being supportive we split up over it. Sad indeed.

I hope you’re husband comes around to giving keto a go, thin people get heart disease, cancer, liver disease, kidney disease and diabetes too. :cowboy_hat_face:


(Karim Wassef) #6

Yes. It is hurting him.

You can either eat carbs and control portions and calories. Or you can be an athlete to burn off the carbs.

Or

You can keto and eat high fat.

High carb + high fat = disease.

Don’t mix the two


(Lazy, Dirty Keto 😝) #7

Yep, as others have pointed out high fat is only a good idea when limiting carbs. Combining HF + HC is a recipe for disaster. I’d be concerned about his heart health, cholesterol etc.


(Tara) #8

Thank you for your insight! Keeping most of the fats as a side is a wonderful idea. He will miss the curries, but I can definitely cook hamburger patties and not give him any avocados. As with him being a TOFI, he hasn’t had any bloodwork done, and he considers himself healthy until proven otherwise. I’m trying to get him to a doctor, but that’s another uphill battle.


(Tara) #9

Thank you for your candidness. I didn’t research keto before I started, and the more I learned about metabolic processes, the more concerned I became. Ironically, my mother also now eats many keto foods because of my success, but has no interest in leaning in and trying to get into ketosis. I’m destroying people around me. :cold_sweat:


(Tara) #10

I would say 2 out of 3 meals he does Keto. But that’s isn’t enough to get him into ketosis. If I didn’t make him fried eggs and an almond flour biscuit for breakfast, he’d have Rice Krispies and a banana. :sob:. So, I want to think I’m helping? Less garbage, right? At least there some nutrients in the eggyokes?


(Tara) #11

I hope he comes around too. He was very tolerant of my previous obesity, so it is causing a lot of frustration between us. But his level of inactivity has caused many fights between us. He doesn’t want to discuss it, because it makes him feel bad.

I love him so much, and I know he has the potential to feel so much better.


(Tara) #12

Thank you for your response. After 9 months for eating keto with carbs, I image his triglycerides are terrible right now. :frowning:

But left to fend on his own,… so much bread, rice and pasta. It will be hard to watch.


(Carl Keller) #13

Yes, that’s how I am trying to look at it. However, the real problem is his insulin and it will continue to get worse as he ages if he continues with the junk food. Increasing belly fat is often the first sign of insulin problems. I ignored it for nearly a decade and one day I stepped on the scale and was shocked to see that I was 40 pounds overweight. It scared me enough to want to change. I hope your husband finds the right kind of motivation. Your love and support will certainly help. :wink:

I would just proceed cautiously and try not to nag him about change. He has to want it for it to work.


(Tara) #14

I was kinda hoping that since we were healthier as a society before the low fat craze, he might be okay. Back in the 50’s when we were eating lard and potatoes. But that’s still wasn’t the 70-80% fat I eat with keto. :sweat_smile:


(Full Metal KETO AF) #15

That’s when the Doctors and Dieticians started pointing their finger at the wrong food group. Instead of cooking your potatoes in lard they suggested vegetable oil instead of just telling people lard, bacon and eggs were okay and to stop eating potatoes. :slightly_frowning_face:


(Kelly) #16

What if you only made keto options? I make my hubby and son eat what I eat. So they are 90% keto. My son eats primal basically and my hubby has SAD food when he eats out which isn’t often. I just make cauli rice and spaghetti squash noodles or zucchini noodles when I make my dishes. We had some pretty major food allergies for me for a while so now I just do all the cooking and I buy all the groceries.


(Tara) #17

It’s a great idea in theory, but I’ll pack him a keto lunch, but then he has been known to buy white rice to add to it. :woman_shrugging: Or just go buy a 7up if he’s thirsty. Though, I could try putting monk fruit syrup in the maple syrup container. Lol. But I think the point the other posters were making, is that he’s not in ketosis, the high fat is bad for him.

I have a bit more control over my son, but man! People just adore giving kids sugar. At least he’s active and has plenty of chances to burn off some excess glucose.

I accidentally gave my mom and sister massive leg cramps when they came to visit. They just ate my keto food without any additional electrolytes. They loved the food, but were beginning to get keto flu by the time they left.

It’s really not a lifestyle you can imposed on someone without their cooperation. Annoyingly.


(Kelly) #18

Sorry, it was just a thought. My hubby and son haven’t had many choices. We ate paleo for almost 6 years while I figured out food sensitivities. My son has some of the same issues so it was pretty easy for them to follow along. I hope it gets easier!


(Alec) #19

I am not sure I agree with the prevailing view above. I think if you cook him real wholesome food that includes potatoes and rice etc, although he will not be getting the low carb benefits we know and love, he will be getting a diet better than most on SAD.

We know that real foods with fat will slow down digestion vs eating highly processed muck and this may even lower the insulin spikes he gets.

IMHO, the best is keto, the next best is keto foods and carbs, the worst is SAD.

[bulletproof jacket on]


(Karim Wassef) #20

Natural foods are better than processed foods.

True

But there are harmful natural foods. All the studies that cite high fat as the cause of disease do so in a high carb environment too. Carbs drive insulin to store fat. If you eat fat the way we do, but add carbs… metabolic syndrome.

Natural isn’t always good. It’s just better than SAD which doesn’t say much. If you eat 10 bananas and follow it up with an avocado… the avocado’s fats just get stored…