I am THEEEE WORST KETONIAN (trigger warning)

(Candice) #1

I’ve been doing this since 12/2016, after reading The Obesity Code.

After a health scare, very motivated to do it right, lost 40 pounds and diabetes symptoms subsided.

Spent six months working away from home, Relaxed my standards and continued to lose weight.

Came back home, tried to continue relaxed standard and weight is creeping back. Two days ago, I had a UTI, like the ones that started me on this course.

I’m BACK at day two for, like the twentieth time.
The pattern is, I feel empowered by no cravings and think I can “have a taste of something.” That leads to a days- or weeks-long bender. A death in the family sent me on a six month binge.

For the past month, I’ve been planning to do Christmas baking! Even bought a new Kitchenaid mixer to replace the one I gave away in 2016!!

I had 50 cookie and cake tabs open on my phone, and had a new Pinterest page for pastry chef recipes.

Fortunately, i caught myself. I’ve baked nothing, after living on cookie porn for a month!! The mixer is going back to the store. (The second time I’ve bought and returned a mixer this month!!!)

Finally realizing
I cannot have “just a taste”
I need to attempt perfect adherence
I may need to start weighing.

This is just to encourage others, hopefully.

If there’s any advice, I’ll gladly take it. Am I insane?


I look at it like a light switch. It’s either in the on or off position. Try putting your light switch right in the middle (the middle being doing a low carb diet with occasional carbs all of the time). It doesn’t work. And I learned the hard way (by gaining weight back after the last time) that sneaking in a few sugary things here and there just means I’m on a carb diet with some elements of low carb stuff instead of being low carb with some carbs here and there. Basically if I’m not low carb, I’m carb…if that makes sense, no matter how I spin it to myself.

Best wishes sticking to it and managing your cravings.

(John) #3

That is me, too. I have lost weight before with changes in diet and exercise, and every time I get to where “I have this under control” and think I can eat bad stuff occasionally, and sure enough, one time doesn’t derail me, so then the firm resolve I had slowly erodes, one thing leads to another, and I lose the progress I had made.

Having learned that lesson about myself, and having read some of the research about the common traits of people who are successful at long term weight maintenance, I decided to set some firm rules for myself, and stick to them strictly.

I swore completely off sugar and artificial sweeteners, to exterminate the sweet taste receptors. Took several months to get it fully internalized but I no longer have any desire or cravings, or even the wish for “just a taste” of anything sweet. Others may not need such a rule, but I do.

(Carl Keller) #4

Processed sugar is likely one of the most addictive substances on the planet. Many of us behave just like drug addicts or alcoholics when it comes to sugar. The one more hit or one more drink mentaility is right in line witth “just a taste”.

It’s not just about willpower. We have to fight hormones when we let the sugar genie back out of the bottle. So tossing the bottle out was the best thing you could do for yourself.

You don’t need any advice. You know what to do. :wink:

(Now known as "DR JUICE" - it's just that easy! JUICE DC (Doctor of Comedy)) #5

Only if you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result :slight_smile:

(Albert Einstein is broadly credited with first saying this, but evidence for doing so is non-existent as far as I can tell.)

(Becca) #6

The fact that you’ve come to this realization, in and of itself, is powerful and a great first step into getting back on track.

Get rid of all carbage in your home. Have Keto friendly snacks and food on hand, especially things that can be whipped up quickly. You’ll get there! KCKO!

(Amelia Rose) #7

My motivation is seeing my blood pressure come down. My blood pressure meds are on the re-call list because of carcinogens so I decided to see what I could do with just weight loss. Systolic has dropped from mid-seventies to mid- thirties, from a loss of just 16 lbs since 10/1.

(Candice) #8

Thanks all you guys for your responses.

I’m going to get a scale to replace that mixer.

Fortunately I have no diagnosis and already keep a clean environment. My major problem is at work, I’ve preached the gospel of Keto and we have a snack bar. They see me say one thing and do another, repeatedly. My no always turns into a yes.

Repeated offers have been my weakness. I could resist all morning, but my carb fiend neighbor offers something at end of day and historically I’ve fallen for it.

I’ve created my own hell.

But today will be different (claiming it) because I’ve acknowledged that I can’t do partial adherence. The past year of “plateau” (:unamused:) has shown me that.


It sounds like a problem to me if you are so conflicted that you are undermining your own efforts in an ongoing way. More important that you see yourself repeatedly saying one thing and doing another (than that your workmates see this). You are the person trying to change your behaviour.

If I was in this situation with food I would first ensure that I was never hungry at work, I would be very careful to eat to satiety every work day and would never attempt to fast in that environment and would make sure to eat a good keto meal at lunchtime daily.

I do notice some postings around here where people seem to be engaged in some sort of self sabotage and talk about “cheating” but they are usually doing keto for weight loss, not health, so the motivation seems to be a problem for them and they are sometimes trying to restrict calories as well which simply is counterproductive on keto. It seems to me the victim is the person doing what they call “cheating”, like a straight self harming behaviour.

If food is set up for you mentally as a reward, it seems important to ensure that you get clear about what effect that is having in your body and give yourself a different reward system.

The other thing that occurred to me… many people who think of themselves as “food addicts” are actually insulin resistant and have never had their insulin levels tested in a 3 hour test for diabetes and insulin resistance. If you are insulin resistant and hungry you will eat whatever is in front of you (if you aren’t in ketosis).
Unless you have a very aware GP, you need to request that the insulin levels are tested hourly along with blood glucose levels…many doctors remain ignorant of the role insulin plays in weight gain and food/eating difficulties. Or at the very least, a fasting insulin test to find out if your insulin levels are high.

If they aren’t, then maybe get a good therapist to help you sort out your motivation and conflicts.

Good luck!

(Laurie) #10

You’re learning most of these lessons on your own already. But good for you for on coming here and asking for support!

Depending on where you work, you can avoid the snack bar. When I worked in a factory, I used to eat outside. The smokers thought I was crazy (because the weather was bad), but I pointed out that if they could smoke outside, I could eat outside. If you can’t eat outside, you can eat at your work station or other location, or just skip eating and do something else, like go for a walk.

Or you might even find a place where you can exercise during breaks. At a technical school I attended, where we changed into smocks or work clothes for the day, a woman used to exercise in the locker room. We thought it was weird, but she was determined.

Remember that it takes time to develop new habits and also to learn all the ins and outs. At first we might think cookie porn is harmless, or that we’re baking stuff to give away. Or that personal tragedies and stress have nothing to do with eating. (We might not even realize that we’re under stress.) We need to learn about ourselves, as well as various coping skills that don’t always come easy.

Thank you for posting. I too need to attempt perfect adherence. It’s good hearing from others in the same boat. I had success on Atkins but gave in to temptation/social pressure after 11 months. Just one piece of pie. It took me about 13 years to get back on the horse–this time on keto (which I regard as an updated version of Atkins).

Good luck!

(Now known as "DR JUICE" - it's just that easy! JUICE DC (Doctor of Comedy)) #11

Can you put up a sign nearby that says “please don’t feed the carbaholic, it’s bad for her health” or somesuch? Much like they have at zoos?

(Candice) #12

I just had bbq (smoked meat) dipped in Alfredo sauce.

I normally prefer to fast in the morning, but I’m taking the advice :blush:

I made a bullet proof hot cocoa in a yeti cup to sit in the car so that if I get any offers, I will run to the car and have my hot bullet proof Cocoa. (I left it in the car so I would not sip on it all morning.)

(Candice) #13

Today was good.

No slips

Overate on Keto allowed food, just to prevent temptation. I can tell my insulin is not as low as it could be, so maybe too much protein.

I’ll do five days of this, to get coworkers used to “no means no” and get myself reacclimated to adherence.

(Jessica) #14

This is my pattern after a carb heavy day or days and I’ve decided I’m ok with it. It gets me back into the groove and keeps me away from the carbs.


I also did this in the beginning, when I couldn’t feel satisfied. It worked to allow myself to eat until stuffed and eventually the cravings died down and so did the eating.

(Now known as "DR JUICE" - it's just that easy! JUICE DC (Doctor of Comedy)) #16


yes I’m out of likes again. stupid software




Yep. Some people can hang out in shades of grey, but some of us have to stay black or white. 100% adherence is easier than 90%.

There’s a book by Vera Tarman and Phil Werdell called " Food Junkies: The Truth About Food Addiction" which is about compulsive eating patterns and sugar/processed carbohydrate addiction, and how to deal with them. It’s a very interesting read, and you may find you relate to a lot of the ideas presented.

(Mike W.) #19

How can you tell?

(Candice) #20

The sugar gave me two zits. Normally if I fast and Keto they’ll dry up in three days. They haven’t.

Having a heavy period RN