Humor :-)
When your kid sleeps like a murder chalk outline.
Don’t worry, it’s only implied murder, so it’s funny.
Ah, the flexibility of youth, if I slept like that I wouldn’t be able to move when I awoke. 
I found that applying ethyl alcohol internally throughout my 30s greatly increased my range. Stopped working somewhere around 42, though.
@Aqua_chonk I however found applying ethyl alcohol internally made me more flexible until about the same age! 
I just noticed you said internally too! Why waste it, right?
If memory serves, and in the case of rum it often doesn’t, a lot of precious liquid was inadvertently applied externally towards the end of the evening.
Speaking of Bacardi, the last cocktail I invented was the Orange Cream Cuba Libra where you tip Bacardi Mandarin into Coke and add a dash of vanilla extract. I see Coke is offering Orange Vanilla Coke now. Where’s my friggin’ royalty check?
There should be a “laugh” option close to the heart 
i loved it and i laughed, thanks
A Slate writer says, “Listening to the show is sort of like crashing an intense, intimate dinner party in which the only courses are whiskey and weed. As a podcaster, the 51-year-old Rogan is basically what you’d get if a less-neurotic Marc Maron and a less-manic Alex Jones had a baby who looked like a muscular thumb.”
That’s pretty much why I’ve only listened to his interviews of keto and carnivore doctors and scientists. They instantly cow him into obeisance with their acumen. It’s almost comic, really.
Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say.
@OldDoug All that happened on my birthday was some fisherman found a kilo of marijuana floating in the water. Now that’s good luck fishin’ 
Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt.
Cookies are bad, m’kay.
@Aqua_chonk Did you take that photo? Unbelievable and kind of unsanitary
Live in fear.
(That’s sarcasm, for all of you with your panties in a twist experiencing chafing right now.)
No, I wouldn’t be caught dead in Costco. I use leaves. It’s a holdover from my raw vegan days.