How to explain to people that just won't listen?


(Ellen) #1

I was texting with a friend over the weekend, said I wasn’t hungry but in the midst of a carb craving, her advice? Just have some carbs! My response was NO because 1, carbs are like crack you have some then you just want more, 2, I’m not hungry at all, 3, I have no carbage in the house and 4 I’m really not hungry. Then I mentioned my accidental 48 hr fast and she got all upset thinking I was becoming anorexic! Tried explaining my body is simply using some of the more than abundant fat it has stored for fuel so I’m often not hungry, that I’m perfectly fine and feeling so much better than last time I saw her (June) but she wouldn’t have it that you don’t need to eat 3 times a day every day. In the end I gave up and just said try googling it.

So, after that rambled rant above, any tips on explaining things in a very simple way to someone?


(Randy) #2

I’ve had to learn to move on to people who are open to listening and new ideas.

When I hit a brick wall with someone, I move on.


(Joe Schuyler) #3

From personal experience, I don’t talk about Keto and I don’t mention my fasts to others unless I am asked about it, and the other party is willing to hear me out. If the person you’re talking to is unaware (and also unwilling to listen to/be open) as to what metabolic shifts happen in the body while in Ketosis, then they will not understand.

In most situations I simply change the subject, and I recommend that you do the same. You’re fighting an uphill battle here.


(Brian) #4

I figured out a while back that people don’t usually want to know what they may express a desire to know.

“How are you?” is an example. The next 100 people that ask you that question, there will probably be less than 5 who would actually say they had any interest whatsoever in how you’re doing if pressed on the issue.

I used to have people ask me what I did for a living. At the time, I was working at a commodities brokerage and did market analysis for a nightly online report. I usually couldn’t even get that one sentence out before their facial expression had already told me that they had moved on to a totally new subject and that any further explanation was a total waste of time on my part. It wasn’t the pat one or two word answer they wanted and anything further didn’t fit onto their little mental shelf at all.

When people question me about my diet or losing 30+ pounds, my answer is generally, “No sugar, low carbs.” It’s rare anyone wants to go beyond that. If they do, I’ll go a little deeper but not much without their showing a genuine desire to really discuss it. Those are pretty rare people.


(KCKO, KCFO) #5

Get some fellow ketonians to text when you feel that way. Sounds like boredom and lack of imagination to me.

My advice would have been have a couple of macadamia nuts and KeepCalmFastOn.

I don’t care if others eat a different way, except for my DH, I would be his primary caregiver if his T2D gets out of hand. You could have pointed out you have fasted before and you are not dead.

Welcome to the rise of Ketozombies.:joy:


(Allie) #6

I just don’t discuss it with anyone unless they’re also keto as non-keto people just don’t get it.


(Ellen) #7

Thanks All, going forward I’ll just keep my mouth shut!


#8

This is so true, I used to be in the Peace Corps and while I thought it was interesting to discuss most people couldn’t care less. They actually teach you that people back home will not be as interested as you’d think and as a result it pays to have a vague one sentence answer to use when people ask what you were doing over there. In 99% of the cases I was never even asked a follow-up question.

Keto is the same. People are ignorant. How many people say things like “I could never give up bread, I love it too much”? I’m sorry but if someone doesn’t want the chance to live a longer healthier life by making a few small dietary changes I’m not sure anything anyone says to them can change that. After all, it is much easier to blame bad luck when you get sick than admitting ignorance and apathy.


(Jo O) #9

A. Don’t ask advise from a non-ketonian. That’s like asking a drug addict for advise on mood fixes.
B. Send her pictures of your Carl’s head Pizza or bagels with cream cheese.
C. Check here for carb carvings advise.
D. You won’t convert someone until they are good & ready.
E. Just be the proof that it works and not just another whacky fad.
F. We all have family & friends like that.


(Athena) #10

I was watching this interesting show called “Adam Ruins Everything” with my 12 yr old daughter. It talked about how disproving a misconception to someone can actually strengthen that person’s belief in their misconception.


(ianrobo) #11

prove how it works for you. Whether weight loss, fewer sick days, better skin, better fitness, whatever, in your old way you are better and surely they must see it ?

it is obvious, show before/after pics etc and maybe the penny will drop ?


(Mark Rhodes) #12

Like most, I try to avoid these type of situations. I learned long ago to thank the person, to validate their concern to let them know I heard them. I will then proceed to my health markers and how well they are currently, that what is seen from the outside is a nice benefit but my blood work doesn’t lie. I then remind them that I am continuing on my quest for wellness and again thank them for their input. Exactly twice now, the last was Friday night the person then began to ask questions and actually listen to the responses.

I do this because I was one to not listen. I had to be willing to admit that all that I knew was quite possibly wrong.


(VLC.MD) #13

Show them they are wrong. Don’t tell them.
Concentrate on your journey.


(John B) #14

My SO and I have ditched carbs for the past 7 months, and both of us have lost quite a bit of weight. I myself am down 45 lbs (almost to my goal) and so my coworkers have been noticing. It’s nice that they notice, but then they want to know “my secret”, and I feel obligated to tell them something. When I do, I get a variety of responses, most of them positive, but a few are very concerned with my health, thinking that I’m starving myself. I know there concerns come from a good place, so I’ve learned to limit the details unless I am asked. Most of those that are asking, want to loose weight as well.

I also work for a food company, and every now and then samples are brought in for us to try. I’ve had to limit what I try, which also raises questions. This is particularly difficult in a ‘group business lunch’ where everyone is helping themselves to the pizza, or sandwiches, and you’re busy checking to see if there is anything in that salad that might through you off.

In closing, I’ve learned not to ‘advertise’ my eating habit if I can, especially in mixed company. And, while it’s easy to say ‘just do what you want’ it’s not always that easy to do. If I find it easier to go with the crowd and eat outside my comfort zone (hasn’t happened yet, but I’m sure it will) I figure I can fast a meal or two later in the week and get back on track.


(Keto in Katy) #15

Aside from my close loved ones I avoid most interactions with people as much as possible.

This is a key ingredient in my recipe for happiness.


#16

I have purposefully not told people. I even took 2 months off from Facebook just so I wouldn’t be tempted. People thought I was dying because I wasn’t on there. You would have thought I had committed a cardinal sin.

Anyway, my husband knows, my two grown kids know, and my sister (a nurse practitioner) knows. That’s it. I don’t talk about my eating habits or weight loss to people.

My plan, if someone asks, is to say I have lost weight by eating less sugar and letting it go at that.


#17

I agree. Close family know. When asked by others I just tell them I gave up sugar and processed foods. Some want more info, others feel that’s enough. I feel great. Been doing keto/LCHF for 13 months, down 36 pounds.


(KetoCowboy) #18

Same strategy here. That’s the headline anyway.


#19

IMO… You don’t. You’re wasting the time of everyone involved trying to explain something to someone not receptive to it.

I just smile and say “If you say so” and KCKO.


(Darlene Horsley) #20

I haven’t run into it yet but it has only been 4 weeks and I have only lost 11 lbs so not noticeable yet to anyone else but me. However I did have an interesting lunch date with a friend who was worried if she ate ice cream in front of me and didn’t want to order it… This friend is a recovered alcoholic so my response was does it bother you if I drink a glass of wine in front of you? My friend said no and I said well there ya go. ORDER the ice cream, it’s your birthday!

This thread has helped with any future responses I might need to employ and when I need support I’ll come here. :blush: