Yeah, Alvaro said he is actually fine with eggs only… But we had chicken to share so he ate that. But all the super tiny pork is for me. It has chewy parts, only fit for the cats. So it’s even less I thought. Oh well. I opened a salmon spread (some carbs but I use a little and I can handle it well), it goes well with my kind of light pancakes. I have no idea what others use yogurt for, it’s like water to me BUT it works in my pancakes instead of sour cream! I eat more than enough fat already.
(I eat my sour cream too just separately, it’s more enjoyable that way.)
I lost my full satiation before 1pm and Alvaro had lunch so I ate a bit too. Then Amy showed me her meal and I got a tad hungry (it’s barely past 2pm)… It’s very hard to split my food (not like it’s a fixed amount, it’s not, I don’t even track) into two, I often get too tiny meals to satiate me or I eat too much. Yeah, perfect food probably would solve this but I need much more fatty meat for that. Only that satiates me well enough (with a bunch of eggs). I can get satiated with anything (except insane styles I never did. I almost always ate high-protein and high-fat) but I don’t want to eat a ton to reach that and I wish to feel right. And I need some meatier extreme low-carb without much dairy or added fat for that, I know that. Pancakes all the time, that’s plan B and only works well under special circumstances like OMAD. But they are good and never boring I could eat them for each and every meal for many months or possibly years, maybe decades…
Appetite doesn’t do anything to my eating. Only negative appetite (I don’t eat then, no matter how super hungry, weak, dizzy I am. it’s basic rule, I can’t eat with a negative appetite. but strong hunger slowly raises my appetite so it eventually reaches zero and I can eat a ton with zero) but that never lasts long, not even when I am not very hungry either.
I still eat a bit too much every day. I try to change that in the near future. As I definitely won’t give up my less ideal items like sour cream… But I eat so little of it, it can’t be the problem alone… Well yeah, I eat lots of cream too… I try to keep it in check though… But things get added up and it doesn’t satiate me. I try to wait for hunger again. Why is that so very hard, I don’t know. Sometimes I can do it just fine. Yeah, when Alvaro isn’t at home. It’s zillion times easier home alone. Why am I like this? I often find it the easiest thing ever not to eat while sitting with Alvaro at lunch but I need perfect satiation for it and I don’t always have that at 3pm.
I try to solve problems in my life now so I will focus on these things a bit more. I liked eating late, it was so convenient and perfect. I don’t even care if I eat much on OMAD, it should be fine. It’s not like I actually can eat truly big meals without bad food choices and the bigger my meals, the better, longer my satiation… I never was good with small meals.
So, good timing and as close to carnivore as possible. Tomorrow I go to the town, we will see what the butcher has (I want tongue and heart!). I still have some chicken too.
And exercise. I still have too little and it’s not THAT hot now. But it will come back, Alv says. Sigh. The butcher visit is 16 km cycling, little but something I do my little walks but that’s not enough. Garden work isn’t really exercise but I am outside, it feels nice when it’s not 36+ Celsius…
I should resume my weightlifting, I was so unwell in the heat lately and stopped. I want a bit bigger muscles. Not like they will be visible under all that fat but at least something should get better.
But eating is pretty chill now, I don’t feel the old compulsions, I have my pattern, food is never boring… I just get tempted sometimes when Alv has something interesting and I don’t have enough proper meat (rarely, his dishes are usually too carby and not interesting at all for me. he doesn’t even put eggs into everything. he usually mixes carbs with carbs, definitely not my style, not even my tastebuds like that). I will go wild in the hypermarket on Saturday I think… I defrosted(?) the freezer and I have so, so much space for meat now! And while we usually go to the city every month, we have unusual times, sometimes we don’t visit the hypermarket (with the huge pork slabs with as little plastic as possible)… So better be prepared as the village shop is often lacking at freshness - variety too but I am fine with multiple pork cuts. I start to miss turkey though. And the butcher is way more expensive and the organs aren’t always fresh (unlike the normal meat), that’s why I never know if I can buy some. Tongue isn’t even always available.
I write too much about these, grrrr. I probably wrote all of this already before.