Wow! I like the black one (great contrast, everyone in the room must notice it :D) and the last one the most. Shiny metal turquise leaves, I never saw anything like that and even the fabric is nicely patterned…
I went and thought about my failed yesterday again, probably nothing interesting for you but I don’t want to delete it. I really need to get my stuff together, the last weeks were so bad regarding my mental and even physical strength, I don’t feel I can do anything… I should get over it asap.
I realized I MUST have some ready to eat FATTIER meat on hand at all times. I was hungry and couldn’t stomach my boring lean meat anymore… I ate up my pork jowl and had sausage and ham and cream cheese but that couldn’t cut it. Didn’t want the rabbit either. Yeah, really lean pork (fried in lard but that’s not enough) and (fatty for a rabbit but still lean) rabbit, that’s not a good combo. I know, it just happened. I trusted my processed meat and other items too much, again.
I will try to behave today and tomorrow I will fry some pork chuck, I have a decent sized slab in the freezer.
As I have lean pork and no pork jowl anymore, I think I will eat my wonderful cod liver, the can is in the cupboard since way too long ago And the lean pork will be quite nice and substantial when I make it into a very complete dish with eggs and cream/sour cream. I will make both version I suppose… Always liked variety. I had my “quark quiche” yesterday too, not even a little, egg white milks as well so I think I had protein and some fat, it should have worked but my satiation isn’t like that, apparently.
But maybe it’s the too many meals. I ate 3 times as I got hungry for the 3rd time in about 7 hours, really hungry. As far as I can tell, my meals were small because I didn’t like my meat much. As I never got satiated with my carni food. It’s fine I am not satiated at the end of a meal, probably good practice, may be useful - but I got hungry again and again. If I eat a substantial meaty meal, I usually get satiated but if not, it’s very temporal, satiation arrives in 1-2 hours and all is well.
I know how much meat and other things gives me satiation for the day, why don’t I use it? I was clueless yesterday as I didn’t track, though… (Took notes so maybe later.) But it wasn’t much meat. It could be a pound but it’s not enough if half of it is rabbit and processed stuff and I barely eat eggs.
Maybe I should just start with 500g pork every day… But it was super lean pork this time, I wanted to use it up and was too optimistic having all the other items… And maybe using all my options still could save the day if I made better decision when still hungry… I have a problem with freely using my resources too and it’s understandable I don’t want to eat something special and fatty (cod liver) late in the evening when I wouldn’t even enjoy it. I was hungry, I just ate and ate with minimal joy. It’s a waste of lovely food. And I didn’t want my not lovely one.
I will make plans with macros again. Just vague ones. When my brain works better as hungry Gremlin me isn’t good at saving the day at all. The weather doesn’t help my brain now, it’s cold and gloomy. I woke up and my room was 16.3C! Still toasty when I am wearing my very old, still super soft and thick pullover. It’s a miracle. I used to use it instead of a winter coat when the winter was just normally cold (light frost and no precipice as it’s a pullover, it would get soaked easily). I am a bit too warm in it but nope, I won’t change