I never was jealous but again, I always ate what I wanted, kind of… It’s not clear-cut, sometimes I want and desire different things, I have my circumstances and even compulsions… But I never was good at being “strong” as I can’t even try that, it sounds unnatural and unhealthy for me to try hard. My approach is softer, subtler and takes a lot of time.
It’s interesting that now when I eat off, it’s either great or meh/disappointing, very frequently the latter. It was always great before (to some extent as severe carb poisoning and overeating isn’t nice but I don’t reach that level easily). But maybe it’s quite natural I changed.
The weather is rainy so no shopping for today. I pretty much run out of eggs, I had no proper meat already… This won’t be a carnivore day, hopefully tomorrow will be different.
(I ate boiled eggs today. I still have some so it shouldn’t be too bad. But I don’t want smoked pork or cheese. I have an opened can of tuna though. And ONE raw egg, it always disturbs me, no matter it’s easy to get more and I have multiple boiled ones… I liked when I had 100-200 eggs all the time. That’s a cute amount. But I can work with 70.)
And I deleted the rest of my comment, it’s about my hardships again. My conclusion is that I probably already do what I can, I just need to wait until I change more. I just can’t help going off sometimes. I have some ideas what to do differently in the future but I don’t really have much wriggle room. I should depend on my moderately quick changes to be more consistent. Give me a few years 
I handle meat much better than before but 1 pound a day still was too hard on me, not while I did it, that was great, afterwards. It’s so blissful not to eat meat now.
I still don’t think I ever will be a carnivore (I can’t possibly know, of course, I always thought I never would be able to give up my vegetables and I don’t even like them now except a few flavorful ones in moderation… but it sounds so… not me? how I view myself is a bit dual now, I need time to have a clear imagine again) but I only want to stay very low-carb almost all the time and we will see.
But you normal folks do things right!
But that’s popcorn… We could buy very good meat with that money…
(I never was into popcorn, to put it very lightly. Just like I disliked donuts. Except those handmade normal ones with homemade jam, those proper, traditional carby-oily things, one can criticize them but…
But those choco+flitter torus shaped things with a ton of sugar in the supermarket nowadays? I can’t consider them even remotely as food, they always had some negative charm. Like I looked at them… Ewww. Why anyone would eat these? Sometimes they are cute halloween-y, I can consider them as cute sculptures then.
And I deleted some part again, it was about my attitude towards them in a very serious famine… I got carried away a bit. But these things are among the last ones I would try.)
I come back when I am on track again for a while. Sigh.
now I’m imagining you standing there, eyes closed, tong sticking out with a popcorn on it, refusing to fall off. Blaaaaaaaa 
I aint shy in that respect HA
Mine are pretty okay as they mostly bloom later and if I won’t have apricots, it’s no big deal but it’s important for many people… Apricot flowers are too early anyway so they often get affected by frost. People use fire to protect the long lines of trees, I saw some impressive photos about it a few years ago… 
Cos I think I ended up possessed by the mad hatter along the way.
. Anyway, mad or not, I’m back and excited and I have eggs and chicken in the fridge. I will be having very little carb, mainly just animal products ( Should start with that damn bunny) and will slowly eliminate plant matter. I won’t jump straight in the Deep end as I tend to do with everything. So yeah for April and yeah for getting out of that rabbit hole.
I’m not tracking this time. I basically will eat similar stuff to last year, so I am not worried about macros.