I send this and really will be scarce sigh
Well I can’t make them happen as I can’t get meat and can’t afford much meat anyway. With huge determination I could do it but I can’t afford sacrifices, my life is bad enough as it is. But it doesn’t matter what am I willing to try, it’s not realistic at all.
But I am patient and wait a few months more.
I do all the conscious effect I can, things bothered me so it’s at full power now. I just can’t have more than one proper big meaty dish per week until the beef farm is back, it’s totally impossible even after I use “desperate measures”. I can’t do any more, there are no ways at all. I am very pleased with my efforts as I did everything I could, pretty much time, money and effort is invested in getting all the meat we eat, we had to accept more garbage that is normal for us, some “moral sacrifices”, it’s fine but it still appears on the negative side. And I have my limits regarding meat eating anyway even if I rarely feel it with my actual circumstances.
I can do one thing, theoretically, eating more (lean, not tasty) fish, I try to force myself but I am as crappy at that as usual. I need time. But I will eat fish on Friday, it’s good because without it I would have no meat dish this week at all as I can’t get meat from anywhere. Smoked pork doesn’t count but matter A LOT, it’s all my meat, after all (but I can’t get that either, I just have enough right now). And the stupid fish. But this smoked pork isn’t that good in average, I want the pig farm back too.
The potato dish… I don’t miss potatoes ever, they were my huge favs but it’s in the past. But you know, it’s so comfortable when someone makes a very substantial dish and I don’t need to make several little ones myself… 
My food is simple but when I don’t have proper meat anyway and no way I could do carni for 3 days, it’s too tempting to eat something available and good… Especially when our little meat is in it. Once I stubbornly did my weird carnivore day and watched as Alvaro ate fish curry while I had to eat only eggs and not much else. Zero meat for me that very extreme day, I had no fish either, all of them was in the dish. It was so weird but it probably never will happen again, I will have at least my own fish. But I won’t be shy with the somewhat carbier meat dishes, that’s sure. I try to persuade Alvaro not to put meat into curry or other such things (who am I kidding, no way I let him trying to take away a Fire-Dragon/Lion’s meat? the sweet vegetable-lover Earth-Goat/Bull has no chance! his curry isn’t for my liking anymore. did I tell he used about 3.5 kg cucchini and some other vegetables for about 60dkg fish? we always made vegetarian curry until this year but still) but goulash is awesome, it will happen sometimes. But we usually make “proper” meat dishes (I am fine with onions and garlic if the dish requires it in my eyes) and everyone eats it with whatever they want.
I am back to carni right now but it’s very fresh. I had a nice late carni meal, I barely ate today and just because I ate a ton yesterday, I don’t handle that well. It means I was borderline hungry and I am not good at accepting that. Carni is cool with eating whenever as I need a lot of time to eat enough anyway. But I want my small eating window back, it’s so natural and convenient to me. We will see.
I was lucky with fruits too as a tiny bit is enough I always ate (frozen) banana on keto whenever I fancied it and never had to hold back, the same with (frozen) raspberries, my ideal keto fruit. Both were barely any carbs but especially the latter. I don’t do “1/2 cups of berries”, I do “3 raspberries”. Sometimes 6 
Vegetables were the problem but no more. And fruit is mere luxury now, not necessity as before. Fruit seasons are where I am quite powerless and enjoy the hell out of them. Maybe it will change later. But my fruit garden is extremely important for me and I doubt it will ever change. It doesn’t mean I must eat much of my own fruit, I don’t do it since ages but they are my precious things and I taste them… and the rest hopefully will continue to change. I only have this garden since 8 years, I only do low-carb since a bit more… I pretty much resisted blackberries this year! It’s about my 12th favorite fruit in this garden but I love my fruits with a passion so it’s something… These my precious babies, I give up the other carbs first. It will take a long time. But as long as I feel right, I actually don’t care.
By the way, I won’t eat iceberg salad anymore. It was among the very few green leaves I was willing to eat in my vegetable-lover times but it’s inedible now. Not a big win, I barely ate some per year but still a win… And I am sure I won’t force some other items either, saving carbs and frustration. So even without enough meat, there is progress.
But I am not sure what I actually want in the future. My body will decide, probably.
Familiar… Carbs make me hungry and I ate huge amounts of vegetable dishes all the time… It’s soooo good I am fine without most vegetables now.
It’s not about plants, it’s about carbs in my case for sure but as we now, plants are typically carby. But gluten satiates me extremely well. I just shouldn’t eat the carby part
That is all we can do.
but always remember that, if ya want it, you have to act for it ya know. Something I had to tell me many many times.
)…WHAT a year.
. I miss good keto and Carni foods…I have been avoiding the damn forum…Cos I was eating crap…And I went broke and are lots of potatoes.
. Apparently my grandpa thinks that meat is bad for an ulcer…but we are all different… he thinks i should eat cucumber…well it is low carb… and good for things and I do like it… but I am trying to go back to Carni…I will get there…i have been there.
. It is true…My ego f#cked me with vodka…By the way…This is horrendous…when I was drinking vodka everyday…i scratched my skin in the bath…i do that to clean…i smelt my nails…and they smelt like vodka…like turps…
. Alcoholism is very very scary. And I don’t ever want a part of it ever again…Plus it stopped my keto…it set me back so much.
. I don’t want humpty to fall of the wall…cos I wanna eat him.
. Poor Humpty 
Body composition is just doing it things and getting leaner and meaner for sure so that is always a plus!
