What to do when you're not in control of eating?

(Chanell Price) #1

I’ve been trying to do the keto diet for 2 months now. I am always failing at it. I’m a mom of 3 and a wife. I cook most of our meals. When I plan keto is easy but I have a lot of time when I don’t have control of what I eat. For example, last night we got together with my husband’s family and they had bread sticks and pizza. I thought about bringing my own salad but don’t have time. I also am realizing that I get anxious not eating what is presented. I want people to know I appreciate their effort and time. I also don’t like food sitting there uneaten, weird I know. I feel like I keep failing because of this. We both have families that love to get together so this happens often. What strategies do you guys have for this?

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #2

I am in the same boat. I just moved in with my sister, to help take care of her daughter; our father also lives with us. Tonight my sister made bacon and pancakes for supper, so I just ate the bacon and some full-fat yoghurt. My sister is sympathetic with my desire to eat LCHF and stay ketotic, so it wasn’t an issue, but I have the same tendency to fear offending by refusing offered food. Haven’t quite figured out how to deal with that, yet.

(Kimstarr) #3

I have felt that way so I get it. I think that’s when I am most vulnerable… it’s like I want to prove I’m easy going. But now I would just casually eat the pizza toppings only and not make a big deal of it. Be positive and casual and they will respect your choices. Good luck!

(Khara) #4

I like @Kimstarr suggestion to eat the pizza toppings (in the case of pizza). No need to talk about it or draw attention to it and if others bring it up try a simple explanation that your body just does better without the carbs. Also, is it possible you could fast during some of the gatherings and enjoy just coffee or tea? And then of course on the days where you do have time maybe take a salad or meat and cheese tray to share. It is hard though, I think we’ve all been there! Good luck!

#5

This is my approach. I rarely eat when food is offered as I prefer to cook and eat what I make at home. Most are used to it and it makes it easier to not have to find something. But in most situations, there’s something you can eat if someone wants to join in.

(jilliangordona) #6

There are lots of yummy keto recipes out there that I think your family would enjoy without feeling like they are being deprived. Cheesy chicken or hamburger casseroles, roasted pork loin with veggies, steaks, bunless hamburgers (they could have the bun).

When I started my fiancé wasn’t keto but I did all of the cooking so he mostly just dealt with it… however he LOVED all of the keto dishes I made and decided to go low carb himself. Maybe sneak a few keto dishes in for dinner and see how that goes over?

Edit: this doesn’t really answer your questions… but to add if I am in this situation I will normally just eat something before we go and then not eat at the event.

(Chris) #7

I’m invited to a bbq on Sunday. I’m eating 2lbs of steak before I leave, then probably just going to munch on whatever meat is offered. I’ll have my vitamins and dose of protein and fat already and don’t have to be looked at as rude for not eating what they’re offering.

Other times though, I just say I’m fasting, sorry :slight_smile:

(Stephanie A Birmingham) #8

I’m not sure if this helps you, but I changed our menus to VERY basic meals so I could have a full plate and my husband and kids could have their garlic bread, or whatever they wanted. For example: Grilled chicken thighs, steamed broccoli, and green beans sauteed in garlic butter and toasted almonds. One protein, 2 veggie choices and the carb is for the others who want it. I also pre make keto treats and keep them handy in the freezer or fridge for myself.

(Stephanie A Birmingham) #9

This is so true! I have recently tried teaching my 20 year old daughter to stop meeting people at restaurants because they are expensive and unhealthy (you know those young adults love their social time!). I explained that meeting at coffee shops and having black coffee or herbal tea is a win for health and the pocket book!

(Jane Reed) #10

I feel the need to comment on this idea of fear of offending when served carby foods.

Switch the situation. If your guest said “Sorry, I have some dietary restrictions”, would you be offended? You would only if you were a jerk. But your family and friends aren’t jerks, are they? Of course not. Give them some credit.

If you are unable to eat what is served, make a polite apology. No need for excruciating explanations or detailed defenses. Eat what you can, drink your beverage, and have a pleasant visit, which is the point of getting together.

#11

I never fear offending by refusing food. If the people at the table care about you, they won’t care what you eat, or don’t!
Make sure you’re not using it as an excuse to eat what you shouldn’t.

(Suzi Smotrycz-Guilford) #12

I find that I do much better when I prep for either the week or day ahead. The last couple of weeks I have been busy at work which means no prep and feel so unorganized-such is the life of a busy nurse!

(Brian) #13

If there are things there that you can eat, you could concentrate on those. For instance, if they’re having salad, you could load up on that such that you are “eating”, just not quite the same as everyone else.

If there really is nothing that you can eat and you don’t want to break your diet, as said above, you can be “fasting” but still enjoy a glass of lemon water or some other beverage, while still enjoying the company and the conversation.

Depending upon just what the food is, it may be that having a few carbs (like if there are some veggies that are not really on your eat every day list but still you could have a few), might be an acceptable compromise.

Pizza is tough unless it’s like a deep dish, not much crust on those to leave behind. Unfortunately, not a lot of people do deep dish. (I love it though I rarely get it.)

I like your idea of bringing something you can eat but maybe bringing along enough that everybody could have some if they wanted. Lots of possibilities there.

I feel for ya, though.

(Jane Reed) #14

I’m also a fan of these two:

“My doctor told me to cut down on carbs.”. (That would be Dr. Atkins, Dr. Fung, Dr. Nally, etc.)

“I’m fasting today so I came to dinner for your company instead of the food.” (This only works if your husband won’t rat you out.)

#15

You have had some great replies here and i think you just need to build your confidence in discovering and knowing what is best for your health. once you really see how well you are doing and feeling it will be easier to start making decisions that benefit you without fear of how they will be received by others. I have been recommending this book a lot because it is great and I think you would benefit from reading it. It is called Happy Weight by Daniele Della Valle. This quote is pretty apt for you…

“You should never feel like a burden to those around you. If someone truly cares for you, they will always try their best to make you happy. At the end of the day, the only person that knows what is right for you is you. I urge you to stand tall, feel confident that you are amazing, be emotional, be vulnerable, and be you!”

Hope this helps.

(KCKO, KCFO 🥥) #16

About others that make you feel like you have to eat what is offered. Megan Ramos has a comment in one of the podcasts, she asks them if they will be around to drive her to her dialysis appointments when she is too sick to drive herself. This would be good to use on very pushy people.

Be aware that most people don’t care what you eat. You are projecting that on to them. If anyone comments on how little you are eating, just say I am not that hungry, if you are keto you won’t be that hungry. People who really care about you just want you to be happy and healthy.

I agree with eating the pizza toppings. You can do that with some other dishes as well. In fact last week I ate parts of a chocolate coated macaroon, the chocolate parts and left the rest, no one complained nor turned me into the Food Police.

I also agree that you should start getting recipes together so you can take things you want to eat with you. Have some stuff in the freezer for when those social occasions pop up.

Lighten up and enjoy this WOE. Good luck on your weight loss Journey.

(Randy) #17

A lot of good advice here as usual. Such a great community.

It’s a big step on the road to success.

When there’s no food that I can eat, I just don’t eat. Intermittent fasting is one of the most powerful tools of a “fat burner”.

KCKO

#18

In many cases you can just blame gluten. That would’ve gotten you off the hook on the breadsticks and pizza without explaining low carb. Eat the toppings and carry on with your life. Easy.

(Jane Reed) #19

Hey, that’s another good one:

“I’ve recently discovered I’m sensitive to gluten.”

(Chanell Price) #20

You all are so great for responding. You all have written many of the ideas I have floating around in my head. I just need to put a into practice. Nobody cares what I eat I just hate the focus being on that but I is need to get over it. At the end of the day my health is the most important and I just need to remind myself that.