What to do when you're not in control of eating?

(Mike Glasbrener) #21

I agree in that there is lots of great advice here. Pick what works for you. In situations like this I would pre-eat healthy food to avoid temptation. I’d also explain that you’re intolerant of carbs.

However, own your choices! Don’t let them be an excuse for you to cheat then blame them… Unless, of course, they hold you down and stuff carbs down your throat.

(Chris) #22

Personally I’m glucose intolerant.

(KCKO, KCFO 🥥) #23

This response wins. Dread1840 you nailed it.

(Karen Parrott) #24

Haven’t read the other comments. You do what it takes to put yourself in control 365/24/7. I often grab an avocado and beef stick and eat that OR I fast.

I abstain from certain foods for food addiction recovery. I let no one tell me what I must eat. Nobody gets between me and my disease.

I politely tell folks that the “doctor says” and that shuts down 100% of all whiners, dysfunctionals, food pushers, cray-cray’s and passive agressive’s . Welcome to Karen’s School of Putting Myself First. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I do it politely and respectfully. Good boundaries - assertive not aggressive or rude are key- IMO.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #25

Are you offering classes? Because I could use some. I’m in the same food addiction boat - it’s become easier to deal with since going ketogenic, but it is definitely still real.

(Karen Parrott) #26

I learned boundary setting as an adult from a Cognitive Behavior Therapist since I did not learn it from my family of origin.

One word of warning is if you start stetting boundaries with folks who are physically or emotionally controlling, they will up the intensity. Best to have a trained professional or a very wise confidant to help you stay emotionally and physically safe.

Also, recognizing that I have a disease ( compulsive overeatingnot my fault) and Keto is the treatment, made it way easier to set boundaries for myself. Certain 12 step groups can also help with that (although I only grabbed books and read and implemented what I needed from the groups).

Whatever it takes. Do it. Powerful, and you get lean and happy in the end. Keto = WIN +WIN.

(A ham loving ham! - VA6KD) #27

This was one of my biggest stumbling blocks. I can completely sympathise with you. Coming from having an ex-military father who (sometimes forcibly) insisted that we eat everything put before us really made for it to be nigh impossible for me to leave food on my plate. I still have visions of my siblings vomiting back peas and carrots after being forced to eat them. To me, even as a mid-40-something year old, seeing food on a plate left over still brings on some anxiety. I sought counselling to help learn how to deal with it and a couple of things that really helped are:

  1. Left over food is not really “wasted” in the sense that it’s already been prepared and served. If I leave it or eat it, it’s not ever going back to whence it came, so who cares if it goes down my throat or in the bin? Only I care and I’d rather it go in someone else’s waste rather than it go on my waist!
  2. Simply serve up less on the plate to begin with. Get ahead of portion control. When I go to a typical North American restaurant now, I pretty much cut the meal in half and box the leftovers.
  3. Ask for a keto friendy slant - turn down the breads, potatoes, pasta, etc. Sure, you might not be zero carb or even close to it, but you’re a whole lot better off than the couple hundred grams of carbs that it would have otherwise been.
  4. If carby stuff still comes out on your plate, go to point 1) and feel fine leaving those carby things behind. :smile:
  5. Unless your host is standing there with your head in a headlock forcing food down your throat (oh the childhood memories!), then control is 100% in your hands.
  6. If you’re still uneasy with leftovers and how your hosts may feel about it, tell them it was so delicious that you’d like to take your leftovers home to relive them all over again at some later time. Butter up their egos to your content, then go home and a) either eat said leftovers (minus the carby stuff) or b) dispense of it after you leave their company.

I know first hand this will take time to get used to. I had counselling over the last three years and 'am still occasionally struggling with it, but one thing’s for sure - I’m looking forward, not back.
Good luck!

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #28

That it amazing advice. Seriously.

The strength of the people in this forum to be able to recognize their own faults and weaknesses… it astounds me.

KCKO, and OP, take some comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone in your feelings.

(Kellyn ) #29

I love this! I’m saving your tips to look back at on occasion. Thanks for sharing.

(Anja Kern) #30

Ha! I love these!!! :slight_smile:

(Carpe salata!) #31

"100% of all whiners, dysfunctionals, food pushers, cray-cray’s and passive agressive’s "

You certainly covered all angles :wink:

Thanks for the great advice.

#32

The miracle of keto forced me to face certain realities about food, one of which is:

Like millions, I come from a big wonderful family whose definition of love is woven at its core with an abundance of carb-laden food. Never a get-together occurs, be it two people or twenty, without homemade cookies, or coffee cake, or pasta, or pizza, or all of the above. I couldn’t fathom a non-carb visit of any kind.

They mean well. But they’re unintentionally enabling our, and their own, addiction. You’re not being rude. You’re empowering yourself. Even if they don’t understand, in the end you’re helping them too. Maybe one person will be inspired to follow your lead.

(Chanell Price) #33

Most helpful comment for me. Although my growing up food wasn’t forced. We ate 1 meal a day because we couldn’t afford more. Most were high in carbs because that’s cheaper. If you didn’t eat what we had then you went hungry. Sounds worse than it was.

(Peggy) #34

Your comment made me think of when our family gets together, we like to have theme potlucks. Maybe you could figure out some kind of theme that would work for keto.

(I want abs... olutely all the bacon) #35

Sometimes families surprise you and you won’t know if you don’t share. My in-laws embraced my gluten-free phase 7 years ago and are curious with my keto conversion last summer, although still scratching their heads politely :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:. I tend to eat before I go, bring at least one plate of delicious keto food all can eat and a plate of veggies and very fattening dill dip. Ham wrapped pickles are a hit, taco dip… This way I can fill a big plate and slowly pick at it without others wondering why I’m not eating.

(GAIL NEWBY) #36

Public

(Mike Glasbrener) #37

Ham wrapped pickles… That’s creative! I’m going to have to try that as a snack. But not today☹️. It’s Monday, a fast day.

(KCKO, KCFO 🥥) #38

Pickles, always a winning thing.

I do the put it on my plate but just shove it around thing. I have enough control now that just because it is right in my face, I can still not eat it. Took a while to get here but it is a wonderful spot to be in, especially at “events”. I’ve also noticed most people don’t give my plate a second glance, most of this is all in our heads.

OH a friend of mine has a good tactic, she puts way too much salt or sugar depending on the dish, so she won’t eat it. Haven’t done that personally, but she is down 20 lbs this summer using that technique at events.