Unwanted Opinions - Rant

#41

Debra, you might find something useful in this collection:

#42

Thank you so much for sharing these suggestions, Jackie! Being a newbie, it can be overwhelming trying to figure out where to start in the way of information sources. I really appreciate it!

All the best,

Debra

#43

I definitely understand, from a different point of view. When I was young I was skinny despite eating constant. Some of it was from an illness which caused muscle wasting, but as far as body fat I had a healthy but low amount. I can’t tell you how many people accused me of being anorexic. Years later, again due to the illness, I gained 50 pounds. Fortunately I didn’t get too many comments then (except the occasional devastating “when are you due”), but certainly some people are just too blunt even when they mean well.

But here is my question. What are we supposed to say to a person who is obviously losing weight and looking healthier and better? I can’t believe the only answer is to say nothing. There’s no such thing as congratulations and encouragement? I personally would dream of getting to personal, asking how they did it or how much they have to lose, not unless they brought it up and wanted to discuss it. But sometimes it seems on this forum that people don’t want to hear a thing, not even a “you’re looking great.”

I know that as I lost my 50 pounds, some people would make nice comments, and I didn’t mind; I even thought it was nice. But I admit I don’t have the baggage of a lifetime of struggling with excess weight.

So what you would like people to say to you? What do you say to others you see losing weight and looking healthier?

(Empress of the Unexpected) #44

I would say “You’re looking great these days!” I like getting my weight loss noticed, but a neighbor today told me that I was looking skinny and needed to eat more. Trust me, I’m not skinny. Probably she was envious?

(Dee) #45

Oh, I agree. Compliments can keep you going and bring motivation.I find that I love GENUINE compliments, though the attention is all new to me. What I do not enjoy are intrusive, rude and backhanded “compliments” and/or comments made in attempts to sway what is obviously working for me, or telling me I don’t need to lose more, as though I asked for the opinion. If I see someone losing weight and looking good, I will compliment them and say something like, “You are doing great!” If I am curious about their weight loss because I want to lose too, I might ask details about it, depending on the nature/depth of our relationship. A lot of people aren’t comfortable sharing details for their own reasons. Still, I would NEVER utter anything that could be perceived as negative. The only exception may be if a very close loved one was appearing sickly and even then; there are a variety of kind ways to deliver concerned messages.

#46

I separate my compliment from specific weight-loss by simply saying something along the lines of 'You’re looking well!". If the complimentee wants to take the discussion further into the realm of why, then that’s open to them.

(clane) #47

I work with a gentleman who has been on a diet for going on 3 years now.

His progress is very very slow, - but every once in awhile I’ll notice a small change and tell him he’s looking good today. - and I mean it, truly.

He works very very hard on it and his face just lights right up when I say something every few months.

He’s not on keto, but thats not the point - he’s trying and gaining headway slowly - an heartfelt ‘atta boy’ or ‘atta girl’ is worth a lot to any of us who are trying to be healthier, no matter the path we choose.

(Bev Anne Moynham) #48

Compliments are great and I’ll take all I can get. I also don’t mind people asking me what I am doing because that gives me a chance to share keto. Unfortunately, my weight loss is so slow I don’t get many comments.

(Dee) #49

You will in due time!

(KCKO, KCFO) #50

Keep us posted on the job prospect. I really hope you get the new position.

Only thing I have to add this conversation is the next time a boss jumps in like yours, just tell them “I have some work I need to be doing, not discussing my personal life on company time.” It that doesn’t shut up a boss nothing else will.

(Dee) #51

I had a 2nd interview last Wednesday and am anxiously awaiting a call and/or email. I think the interview couldn’t have gone any better! So, if I don’t get the job it will not be because of my performance during the process. I will update on the job. I’m gonna keep my lips zipped shut from now on. Lesson learned!

(Consensus is Politics) #52

I know what you mean. For the longest time (relative time, I’ve been full on keto less than a year, be that as it may :rofl:) for the longest time I heard nothing from no one except the one nurse I spoke of, who was seriously amazed at my turn around in such a short time. Friends and family knew I was eating keto, and that was that.

Then one day…

A friend of ours, a realtor, came by the house to pick up my stepdaughters kids. She was taking them to McDonalds. She didn’t know I was keto. She just stared at me for a few minutes while the kids got ready to go. She finally said, “ you look like you lost a lot of weight. Good for you!” I then told her I Harv lost 40 pounds in two weeks back in October. She immediately went for it… “[gasp!] Did you go keto?!?” I then began to explain my recent dx with T2DM. She cheered for me. Almost made me cry. Somebody noticed. [sniff]

She invited me to McDonalds with her, she said she had lots of questions. She said she was sorry to invite me someplace with junk food. I said nay, nay! I may eat if I want to! So I ordered a double quarter pounder with extra cheese and onions. And a knife and fork :sunglasses:.

I gave her the. Basics of keto. And an open invitation if she had any questions. That was a few months ago. I saw her once since, and I dare say she was losing weight and starting to look good :sunglasses:

(Cecile Seth) #53

Or maybe “I’m taking it a day at a time and listening to my body.” For me that is truthful, hard to argue with and doesn’t give them any ammo for future conversations or gossip.

I’m really sorry your co-workers aren’t supportive. Just remind yourself that they have their own issues to work through. You got this!

(Cecile Seth) #55

I’ve found most fast food burger places will do a “lettuce wrap” which makes the burgers easy to eat on the go. They seem pretty familiar with low carb requests. In fact one drive through person suggested it!

(Consensus is Politics) #56

I will remember to try that!