Thanks @AnnM!
Day 26: The Next 30 Feet
After yesterday’s challenging bonk test, and since I am leaving for vacation to the beach and will miss the trails terribly, I got up early and drove to the trailhead to meet my friend for a long run.
She, like myself, struggles with anxiety and depression. Her anxiety centers around getting started on a run. It can be very difficult for her. She is one of the funniest, wittiest, most thoughtful fellow ultrarunners in the area (she has a boyfriend 
) and I have been making an effort to overlap with her training runs to be more social and help each other cover the sometimes grueling miles.
Well this morning was one where her anxiety was high, so I planned to circle back to my truck every 90 minutes in the event she ended up making the drive and joining me. Oh, for the most part, I keep my phone and my running separate. Sometimes I’ll listen to podcasts while running if i am feeling unmotivated but even then, I find…conscious thoughtlessness…to be the most relaxing and rewarding headspace.
What I mean by conscious thoughtlessness is imagining the caloric suck of the brain. I can’t remember the factoid but its something like: though the brain typically weighs one-tenth of one’s body, it accounts for 30% of its total caloric needs. So I imagine turning that caloric need off, assuring myself that I am safe and will not miss out on anything if I increase the distance between thoughts. I focus on asymmetric diaphragmatic breathing and if I am discipline, this sets me into a very pleasant, present headspace. The next 30 feet. The next 30 feet. The next 30 feet.
I brought keto into this headspace today. I told myself that I was going to turn off, breath, and believe that I do not need the sports nutrition that I once did. That I am strong and capable and ready to just soak up the sights and smells and sounds.
In not too long, my legs warmed and started turning over. On my first circle back to the truck, there was no sign of my friend. I crossed the road and headed to the northern side of the trail system. Near the end of that 90 minute stretch, the familiar spots starts talking to me; my right glute, left hip, inner right knee. This was about where my bonk test went south yesterday. But today, I refused to engage these feelings. I took stock of how I actually felt in the moment and whether or not it was all as bad as my mind could easily make it? NO. I still felt strong so I kept my gait turning over as efficiently as I could over each 30 foot section of trail. I didn’t feel much of an urge to look at my watch until it came time to make it back to my truck in time.
Back at the truck, I checked my phone. My friend wasn’t going to make it. I had already run 3hrs fasted, merely drinking from a gallon jug with Himylayan Salt and Lite Salt sprinkled in. One more 90 minute stretch. My mind sprouted the thought of stopping then and there. No, I thought, let’s just see if we can run the next 30 feet.
That last 90 minutes felt no worse than the second. Though my legs began to feel slightly more sluggish, I noticed I felt no muscular soreness. It was almost concerning. I imagine I am not alone in my surprise regarding how little muscular soreness I experience when compared to similar efforts fueled on carbohydrates.
The sun came out in the last 30 minutes and the wet deciduous growth just exploded in thick musky greens. A breeze could be seen filtering through the tops of the trees and it was surreal because down on the forest floor, running along serpentine pine-needle laden paths, the air was still and damp.
I returned to my truck feeling good. Finally slight soreness, but it was masked by the pride I felt for having stayed present-minded which allowed my body to show me that it is becoming more capable of using its stored energy to fuel movement.
I drove to the gym and sat in the sauna for 30 minutes drinking electrolytes and meditating.
Then I got on my bike and road around casually while listening to a couple favorite bands. I stopped at the grocery store for some olives, cheese, bacon, pork rinds and club soda. Finally got home a bit ago and broke an 18 hour fast with spiced breakfast sausage cooked in ghee and soaked up in pork rinds.
Now I feel sleepy weepy. And full. So grateful that keto has given me back a sense of fullness. Incremental shifts are taking place. The next 30 feet.
