This belongs in the Humor category


(Stickin' with mammoth) #1

I saw these in the grocery store today. I burst out laughing in the middle of the aisle. When I turned it around and read the “nutrition” label, hilarity turned to nausea.



(Alec) #2

But it’s clinically proven that I will lose weight and keep it off. So it’s gotta be good!

And only 21g of carbs per bar so as long as I don’t eat the whole bar, and I have absolutely zero other carbs, I will stay within the keto guidelines. That’s why it’s keto.

And it’s free from artificial sweeteners, so there’s nothing like erythritol or stevia in there….

Do we get a prize for eating more than 300 ingredients in one package?

It’s a winner! I’ll have a dozen…


(Robin) #3

I sure hope people aren’t buying this…. Figuratively and literally.


(Alec) #4

I sure bet they are… it’s keto after all, it says so on the package. :crazy_face:


(John) #5

Unfortunately, in today’s world the majority tend to believe whatever they read or watch.

Those who buy and eat such products in the expectation of losing weight easily, will not want to believe the scales the next time they jump on!!


(Stickin' with mammoth) #6

I find the inflated list of vitamins and minerals particularly hilarious. I’m imagining a pair of magic sunglasses that filters out the glare of false advertising to reveal just how little nutrition your body will actually be absorbing and utilizing. It would save so much ink for the manufacturer to edit 90% of that bullsh!t off the packaging.


(Robin) #7

Who JUMPS on scales? Not me. first I get naked then I very very gingerly step on and try to levitate.


(Stickin' with mammoth) #8

(giggle, snort)

I remember some teen fiction from my youth where a girl declared that she deducts half a pound for all the hair on her body.


(Stickin' with mammoth) #9

Sir, take care! Stevia is natural and I’ll chew leaves to prove it.


(John) #10

Aah, that’s where you are going wrong.
First you need to drink a can of Red Bull. Apparently it gives you wings!:wink:


(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #11

Don’t forget to pee first!


(Bacon is better) #12

You should come use the scale we got Dad for his birthday (it has big, bright numbers, so he can see them). For some reason, it gives his weight just fine, but when I step on it, it tells me I weigh a hundred pounds less than I do! Probably because I’m keto, right?

Right? :cry:


#13

I saw those Keto bars being blasted on tv commercials lately. They are really plugging hard those things right now. ick

I bet they ain’t cheap per box either :slight_smile: ugh


(John) #14

More poisoning of the human race. Probably manufactured by a subsidiary of Pfizer!:thinking:


(Robin) #15

Oh, that’s a given! And poop, if at all possible. :smirk:


#16

:skull_and_crossbones::100::rofl::rofl:


#17

Low net carbs and it has protein… But I for one definitely don’t want anything sweet for a meal (maybe in the end but not when I am hungry).

IDK who can use a tiny sweets as a meal but it’s not me.
I surely would need 10+ bars for satiation if I just look at numbers, I couldn’t eat that many without feeling awful for multiple reasons (but considering all the sugar and sweetness and the amount of protein it probably wouldn’t be enough as a proper OMAD meal) and I doubt that would be so good.
Okay, okay, it’s me, surely not their target.
I have some deviation towards such ingredients lists anyway.

And if something has a name like slimfast, I surely don’t want that, for multiple reasons.

It’s a bit like some popular places and folks in my country who offers enjoyable easy fat-loss eating (super low-cal) cake all the time.

And I actually LOVE peanut-caramel-chocolate things. Unless they are sweetened with some zero-net-carb sweetener as that’s awful to me. I would rather eat them with lots of sugar, once in a blue moon. (But I typically just make my own desserts, they are superior.)


(Kirk Wolak) #18

LOL, I exhale… DEEPLY…

Sometimes I hold Helium Balloons :slight_smile:


(Jamie Brown) #19

It’s funny until you realise more people will buy these bars thinking they’re keto & complain that keto doesn’t work. You know those people who just spout utter crap online about how “I tried keto & it didn’t work”… They’ll become one of those.

The keto label will become the new “Organic”. It’s keto so it must be good, right?


(Robin) #20

Good idea! And the added fun benefit of inhaling some of that helium and talking like a munchkin!