Real Newbie Here...With Non-Keto Spouse

(Val Bundy) #1

So I’ve been reading about keto for about a month…listening to podcasts and stalking around forums like this to get a feel for this new way of eating.

My hubby grilled steak tonight and I ate the fat. :open_mouth: I have always felt guilty for wanting to eat the fat…sometimes I would even “sneak” a piece when nobody was looking…:rofl: and tonight I ate it! I just ate it…and it was glorious…hahaha

Now my hubby is worried about me because he knows nothing about Keto…I have been kind of talking to him about it but every time I bring it up he says things like Atkins is bad for you…high cholesterol…I can’t really blame him…I’ve done every “fad diet” under the sun…and I’ve done low carb, high protein before and I lost weight but I’ve put it back on…so i’m sure he just thinks this is the same…

either way…how could you not love keto? I ate steak fat for dinner…lol…all joking aside does anyone else have a spouse that is not keto?

(shawn) #2

I do! I’ve been keto for over a year, lost 45 lbs, my ADHD symptoms are under control, my husband still worries. He’s supportive, but he’s seen me lose and gain weight on diets, for so long, I wouldn’t trust my judgment either if I were him. He loves what I cook, but he adds bread to it, and eats awful when he’s on a trip. Fasting worries him the most, so he doesn’t know that I usually skip breakfast and lunch, and, since he’s a pilot, I do my extended fasts when he’s out of town. I don’t lie, but I don’t tell him when I’m fasting either. I have dreams of getting him to eat this way, too! It would be so good for his back pain and mood.

(Jodi) #3

My husband will never try keto, he doesn’t even really try to understand it. Lol. He just lets me do what I think is best, occasionally he will ask a question or challenge me on something. :blush:

(Val Bundy) #4

Oh thanks…sounds like that’s how it will be around here…except the pilot part…he is always supportive of what I try even though he worries…he will probably freak out if I start fasting…lol…

(John) #5

Mine wasn’t until I lost a lot, she got on board pretty quick to great success.

Why you got my name?

(Val Bundy) #6

Yeah I doubt hubby will ever try it…first he would have to give up his beer…I don’t see that happening…but you never know i’ll keep my fingers crossed!

(Val Bundy) #7

oh that’s cool! i’m keeping my fingers crossed…but since I just started he’s looking at me like i’m nuts haha…

bundy! lol it’s a pretty cool name

#8

I never discuss my diets (done everything too) until they start working. H and I agreed many years ago not to discuss weight. So we both got heavier over the years. I went on IF/Keto/LC in March and no one in my family noticed except my 17 year old daughter who made me take her out for Thai so I would eat something (ruined a very nice fast). She did it almost as an intervention saying she was worried about me. This was back in April or maybe May. Since then I have lost a bunch of weight and felt better. Started feeling guilty that Husband was still on the SAD diet so when the kids went to camp I told him he was going to start eating right. At first he assumed Dash or low fat high fiber. I told him no, steak and eggs. He started in July and has been doing well. He has a lot to lose and has lost about 15 pounds and his clothing is getting bigger on him. He is very happy on the diet, especially since I cook all the time now

(Mike Glasbrener) #9

My wife’s an ICU nurse who has much training on care of cardiac patients. She expects to collection my life ins. policy even though I’ve dropped ~75lbs in the last 8 months (~6 or so have been keto).

(shawn) #10

I don’t think I could do an extended fast without the pilot part. LOL! I miss him, but I look at his trips as an opportunity to fast. He’s said that even if he wasn’t worried about the cholesterol thing, it would be too hard while traveling. And he loves his beer, bread, and ridiculous amount of milk. Maybe someday. All you can do is show by example. Nagging never is a good idea, and he’s not overweight, so he doesn’t have that incentive from my results.

(Brian) #11

Mine wasn’t, at least not at first. But she’s seen me lose 24 pounds so far and is determined that I am NOT gonna weight less than she does.

(Bryan Jager) #12

My wife didn’t believe living keto is healthy. I had her listen to a few 2 Keto Dudes podcasts, sent her many great recipes and just reassured her this is a healthy way to live. After about a year, I think she is getting used to the idea. Also, since she shops and cooks mist of the time, I really had to convince her. I have been really following keto for over a month now and seeing some results that my wife is noticing. I just need to get her to eat more keto. :slightly_smiling_face: That will be another challenge! :slightly_smiling_face:

#13

I’m the only one doing keto in my house. It was really hard at first. I do the cooking so after I cook their “regular meal” I then cook my keto meal. I’ve been tempted with a few things and have successfully avoided everything except when I made chicken and dumplings. I went off the deep end with that. I have started cooking them what I eat, without the fat of course. Occasionally I will cook them something I can’t eat. But for the most part it’s been easy. Each day it gets easier and easier.
Haha learned my lesson, never cooking chicken and dumplings, at least for a long time.

#14

I cook them what I eat. The fat is not terrible. Usually if the kids are home I will add a vegetable and carb side dish that I will not eat.

When I am fasting I will either have them order or cook them something I do not like. Tonight I made wings which I personally do not like. In general I am not a fan of chicken on the bone so will make that

(Liz ) #15

My husband stopped eating a lot of carbs when I went on Atkins in Jan 2003, not all but a lot. And he lost 40 pounds, LOL! I did lose 60 as well so it wasn’t too uneven though I have always been much bigger than him. He eats bread and corn chips, drinks orange juice and beer, eats fruit. That’s about it for his carb load. I cook all the dinners and he loves Keto food, never says anything but praise. He doesn’t have a lot of weight to lose at this point but I feel like if he went full Keto he’d FEEL so much better and I’d love to see him thrive. Plus I worry because his dad had diabetes and heart disease as an old man and he was never really overweight either, TOFI, maybe.

We’ve talked around it a few times and I’ve even suggested he give it like, a three month trial run someday and he might be willing in the future. The thing he enjoys the most is the beer and I think that’s the deal breaker right now. He only drinks a few on the weekends but that is his treat after his stressful job so I get it. I will just keep glowing around him, feeling good and having lots of energy, if he wants to feel like that, he knows what to do!

#16

Hi, Val!
There are several threads on here about spouse not being keto, so you can find them and read more if you want more moral support and/or ideas.
Generally, I think it can be good to not talk about it too much even with your husband until you’re feeling well-established in keto, and until you have read up on a lot of the science and are starting to see results (not necessarily weight loss! sometimes that’s fast and sometimes other things come first, but in any case once you’re past any keto flu symptoms you’ll probably notice a nice shift in energy and mood).
This is a wonderful forum! you’ve landed in a good place.

(jketoscribe) #17

My husband, who is retired and does most of the cooking and shopping while I work outside the home, is not on board with keto. He lost a good chunk of weight himself with simple “clean eating” and exercise (he’s big into Kettlebells and walks a few miles every day). He doesn’t fear fat, but he thinks I’m crazy to “cut out a food group”–he eats bread, starchy veggies and pasta and some sweets with what he thinks is no problem (I’m not so sure, he’s had a superficial clot in one of his many varicose veins!).

He is mostly very supportive of me. He has seen me lose 75 lbs and improve my health 1000%. He adapts meals for me by separating my portions if carby things are added and always having at least two non-starchy veggie sides with the protein so I have plenty to eat. He doesn’t fear fat, although he thinks things like butter and CO in coffee are crazy (I only did this in my active weight loss phase and lost plenty of weight–I learned not to do it in front of him). He’s thin and fit now. I’m not thin, but I try to keep in mind that he doesn’t contend with severe insulin resistance that I have (PCOS), stressful work environment, and menopause, so it’s not a fair comparison. Occasionally he gets preachy, I just try to find our common ground (we both are passionate about good quality food) and let him rant occasionally. He was really big on telling me there was NO reason to cut out gluten from the diet, until I told him about how I feel on Saturday mornings after eating a little bit of challah (bread) with Friday night dinner–acey and like death warmed over. I don’t feel good when I eat gluten–whether it’s “real” or not, I don’t care. When I finally got that across to him I stopped getting that lecture, at least. :wink:

If you and your husband can agree to be supportive of each other, even if he doesn’t agree on your dietary approach, it’s very doable.

(Patricia Noble) #18

Hi Val - I am in this category too :blush: My husband says he wants to support me but he is still bringing cookies and chips etc into the house which can make it tricky at times. He likes the idea of eating bacon, eggs, steak full fat sour cream and cheese etc and if I’m watching a motivational video when he’s around he agrees that it makes sense but he just won’t take the next step. I just keep hoping that my results will speak for themselves and will help convince him.

(Melissa Schmidt) #19

I don’t have much to add but I’m in the same boat. Like others, no way he’s giving up beer or pretzels! Haha. He’s seen me do everything under the sun diet wise & probably doesn’t want to hear anything from me until I’ve lost a bit (this is my 2nd day).

(Stephanie Tebbs) #20

It took 3 weeks of me in keto for my husband to join in. I kept telling him things about keto in casual conversation and we watched Fathead together. He started asking questions about week 2 after we watched the movie and he decided on his own to try it himself. I was encouraging but not overly pushy. I’ve done every fad diet out there too but he’s always been supportive. Seriously though, who can say no to “bacon and eggs” diet plan?