Real Newbie Here...With Non-Keto Spouse

(Tracey M) #21

My fella looked into keto when I started 4 weeks ago, and ran a mile from it when he realised he wouldn’t be able to drink his weekend beers - he’s a big craft beer fan.

We’ve been together 8 years, and we’ve ALWAYS eaten dinner together. Now, we’re eating separately, and he’s in charge of his own destiny for once. I love the freedom it gives me to eat things I want to - he dislikes cauliflower and courgettes - YES! I can nom them whenever I want now :slight_smile: He does have a joke about the things I eat now and again (not as much as my work colleagues though - they’re bordering on bullying with their comments about how much butter I eat now :joy:) but he doesn’t stick his nose in too much. He knows I’m feeling incredibly better on keto, so he’s happy letting me get on. I do kind of wish he’d try it, but I do appreciate he thinks his beer is too important to his pleasure.

#22

The first time I ordered pizza for the kids I ordered it, picked it up, dropped it off and promptly left the house. The congealed mess a couple of hours later was not at all appealing

Is the issue that he expects you to e at it or that you find it tempting? We have teenagers so while I do not buy that often, there is plenty in the house that could be tempting but it is not for some reason after 5 months of keto. I am more tempted by things like sushi and peaches than oreos (which I never loved anyway). Pizza will always be tempting but then I make fathead pizza which takes away the worst of the cravings. In prior diets my husband used to be an enabler. He would buy chocolates for my birthday when he knew I was dieting. I would feel obligated to eat them and it would ruin the diet, this time not tempted. Plus he is now on keto as well

Could you get him into fancy red wine or shots of vodka or tequila instead? That is permitted on keto

#23

I’m a newbie here also and my husband and I just had a discussion about this. He is not overweight, has never struggled with his weight and although he is supportive, he also is kind of sad about me doing this. He is a creature of habit and he misses my old way of cooking. He doesn’t think I need to lose weight and says he just wants us to like the same things. I didn’t really start this only for the weight loss (although the pounds have crept up on me the last few years). I mainly started because I wanted to decrease my inflammation. I have been an athlete all my life and although I consistently work out, my joints have become more achy, swollen, and stiff in the last few years. This is really helping with my inflammation, my energy levels, and my sugar cravings and although I do miss some things about our “old lifestyle”, I don’t really think that I want to go back. I have lost 15 pounds also which is a bonus. I think he wants me just reach my goal weight and then go back to how it was before. All I could tell him is that we would see. I may introduce some carbs back in (like fruit and some of the vegetables that I have cut out) and just see how I feel, but I really don’t want to go all the way back. Any advice?

(Richard Hanson) #24

Hi Neeseeray,

I was T2D so I am never going back. Keto for life.

Mrs. Hanson has been wonderful, but then I started on keto when she sent me to a doctor who is the husband of one of her friends. Susi is also eating a lot less carbs and is constantly looking for new low carb meals to try. She would be eating keto if she was not T1D, and eventually I hope to have consumed enough science that I can help her make a safe transition to keto.

In 16 weeks I have lost a zip-lock bag full of prescription medications and 59 pounds.

I never criticize what other people are eating, family, friends, coworkers. Nor do I ever ask that others accommodate my food choices. I will eat around what is offered, or just not eat. I have the best excuse … doctor’s orders, but I would do it anyway. I focus on the great things I can eat, a joyful celebration of fantastic foods, and just ignore the rest.

There are a great many foods that I can share with others, including my family. I love pizza night. We get thin crust pizzas to cook for the children and I will cook myself, and Mrs. Hanson, skillet pizzas without any crust at all. We can all enjoy the same experience together, the same core flavors and aromas, and all that is required is a bit of flexibility and understanding.

A lot of men can be rather lazy, domestically, and if you cook, he will eat. Cook things that you can eat together and if he wan’t something else, he can cook it for himself. This may sound harsh, but just as I do not expect other people to accommodate my food choices, I am not willing to expend significant effort to accommodate their choices. It is simply a matter of mutual respect. This is easy for me to say as Mrs. Hanson is just incredibly wonderful.

Warmest Regards,
Richard

(MelissaH) #25

I am struggling to get my husband on board ad well. He tells me everyday how terrible he feels. We’ve been Keto for 3 weeks. I’ve lost weight and feel great. He’s a cranky monster lol
Before keto we were HCLF and vegetarian. I need some serious advice. I do the cooking for our family and already make a seperate meal for the kids.

#26

From the relationship perspective, it might be helpful to have an agreement that goes something like: can you hang in for another two weeks, and if it still not working for you will see what we need to change. [For him, that is. Sounds like you don’t need to change a thing!]
But my main thought is: how are his electrolytes?

#27

Also feel free to start a new thread with more info on him. You’ll likely get some nice troubleshooting from veterans on here.

(MelissaH) #28

Thanks I will!

(MelissaH) #29

I’ve given him a few electrolyte cocktails… I think he cheats because he doesn’t feel the benefits.

#30

The problem with cheating in the beginning is that it keeps him from getting fat adapted :frowning:
If it’s really rough he could try to gradually reduce carbs over a few weeks and try again.

#31

Have been keto 17 months. My family eats what I eat plus a carb side dish which I do not touch. I make simple meats and chicken. My husband has always been a big meat eater. He was on keto from July to April but said it was bothering his stomach and gradually cheated his way off. He had lost about 30 lbs and then stalled after 4 months. He regained everything as far as I can tell. It is unfortunate but there is only so much I can do. I think he used to cheat when he was away but he swears he had eggs every day for lunch. He has about 100 lbs to lose so I was surprised he stalled at 30 lbs

#32

Lol, im keto, my husband is gluten free due to allergy. I do all shopping and cooking, he shift works. He doesnt notice when i fast or eat but understands that I don’t eat carbs (or that much carbs)- when I told him I was starting keto, he stumbled onto Dr.Berg and when he does see me eat, he sees me throwdown, so there is no worry there. I guess its because we dont eat together and spend most if the day apart. Maybe it’s out of sight out if mind?

HOWEVER, I would like him to join me in this lifestyle, but he loves his food-Which is fine. You have to have the proper motivation and he hadnt found his yet. [I tried serving meat and vegg only but he eventually demanded rice/potatoes]. Phasing in sweet potato and brown rice now ( 2 things I NEVER cook). The goal is to have entire family on it by this time next year.

#33

I found that as I phased out carbs, my family naturally followed. Personally I found it helped to not try to convince anyone so I think your approach is perfect!

(Val) #34

I could be the Val you are responding too also! My husband is the same. Just the other day, our 10 year old told him “I won’t eat that because it has too many of the bad sugars” when he offered her a store bought cookie. Then she turned to me and asked for a chocolate fat bomb. :grimacing::joy: I let her eat much more fresh fruits and veggies than I, but she knows I don’t allow cookies while daddy is away. And she wants to learn about healthier eating. Maybe he will too one day.

(Susan) #35

My hubby is a non-keto spouse, but I am hoping that over time, when I have lost a lot of weight, that he will want to try Keto as well. I get more criticism from my children then my hubby. They keep telling me “Keto is dangerous and you will end up having a heart attack and dying, mom” so that is upsetting, and annoying. I just hope that after I have lost a lot of weight and am slim, and trim, and healthy and can actually walk properly, etc that they will come around. Even if they don’t want to do it themselves, I hope that they will stop nagging at me about me doing it by then =).