MOOvember Carnivore

[Karen18]

Last night before, a little peckish so grabbed a tin of sardines. They were nice … I never fancy them but they always seem to go down well.

Up early this morning, before 8am. Went straight outside to read and have my coffee. Another day with the alarm set for things I had to do at certain times. Spent an hour outside then came in and decided to do an upper body workout at home instead of going to the gym. I hate having to squish things in and rush about so I did the workout upstairs on the landing with dumb bells . They’re only fairly light, no more than 10kg so it was lighter than if I had worked out at the gym. Not stressing over it though it was still a good workout. Then i went back out side for a further 40 minutes or
so to start a fresh book as I finished one of the others first thing. Still loving everyone I read, feeling like I am being led to each one. Bath and dolly up time at 11am and the off to Boley Park, Lichfield for the tea dance. Had a lovely afternoon and was on the floor for the most part and catching up with people in between. Some people do have a habit of starting a conversation with you just as a dance starts that you want to get up to and I have no probs getting up and doing some of the dances on my own if there isn’t a free partner. I am getting so good at not stressing though and taking it all in my stride… very proud of what I have achieved.

Picked up some sliced topside beef at the Co-op to eat on the way home. Ate one pack, a bit dry and tasteless so left the other pack for when I got home to sprinkle some salt on and ate it with a bit of cheddar. Then I put the chicken wings in oven and it was near 8.15pm by the time I got eating them. Left about 5 for tomorrow.

This little fella came and sat watching me intently this morning, I was sitting very still and he started preening himself so while he was distracted I quickly and quietly pick up my phone to nab this piccie.

[Shinita]

This afternoon I thought how lovely to have some break from meat eating (I eat some, of course but the amount plummeted drastically).
This night my desire for meat came back. Well it didn’t last very long (I ate little meat yesterday but more than today. so it was less than 2 days)…

(The rabbit is another thing entirely. It’s special, I gladly eat it when I don’t want my normal meat. But now pork sounds a nice idea… So I had all my leftovers. It wasn’t much but I had an egg and a slice of cheese too. One of my favs. I try to behave but on low-meat days I tend to eat some cheese.
When I will stop these night eatings? I wasn’t hungry, per se… But it was nice to have a few bites. I can’t handle the lack of nice satiation AND entering the kitchen. And I can’t not enter the kitchen at night when I go to the bathroom.)

@Karen18: Oh a squirrel, so very different from ours! Too bad the tail isn’t on display!
Ours are tiny, sometimes red but usually black! (And I just see them disappear in the distance, shy little guys.) I don’t know why this area has black ones, Hungary is full with red ones. But I more often saw black ones or at least black tailed ones.
There is an old children’s tale about a very special squirrel and his adventures. All of the others were red but he had a black tail. Almost all of the squirrels here is that special

Maybe I talked about our squirrels before… I like the topic. They are so very cute. But so many animals are… To me.

I started to make my Halloween-Christmas tree. I never had such a thing but I made a Halloween one a year ago and it’s such a good base… Today I added 2 spiders with spiderweb. It turned out that the cheap lil spiderweb one can buy at supermarkets before Halloween, that thing is pretty good for a Christmas tree. it’s impressive when I stretch them between branches of the tiny plastic tree…
It will be more Halloween than Christmas I suppose… But the spiderwebs is too cool on it.
It has shiny lil balls and an angel on top (with a bloody neck and a separated, very dead looking head). Not much more Christmas, maybe the sleigh, I couldn’t halloweenify that one. The lil girl (with angel wings) got a creepy smile at least. And there are bats And now spiders. I didn’t know what I need for my tree. I need much more spiders I think but the black ones aren’t visible enough, not even the big ones. Can I make spiders…? Surely if I find some proper material like some shiny wire…

Don’t mind me.
It was foreseeable I can’t stay away. But I am still trying.

[JJFiddle]

@Shinita [quote=“Shinita, post:311, topic:116935”]
I need passion and an audience to create. I am not one of the ones with an inner fire who keep painting even if no one is interested or just see the result.
[/quote]
Yep Shinita that almost defines you as an artistic personality. We’re the same. A night like this one where people weren’t listening to us, weren’t hanging on every note, those are hard nights for us both. I too am super sensitive to reactions by my audience. If they’re appreciative, I’m over the moon. If they can’t ADORE me and my playing, the evening feels like an absolute failure - even if I do know better.

[carnivoor2]

I don’t care about an Audience at all.

Sometimes in a social setting with friends and familie I play Piano and sing for them but couldn’t even tell if they really like it or are just being polite with their applause.

My passion is more in creating weird sound on Analog synthesizers and then compose music with the sounds. I play together with 4 like minded friends but no audiences allowed.

[carnivoor2]

Back home

[Shinita]

When it’s music, I am different too. But I never wanted to be serious with music/singing, I just enjoyed doing it. it was nice that people liked out choir and it gave us positive things but it was precious without an audience already.*
But painting is different.
So apparently, it’s not just the one in question, we totally may be one kind in one type or art and another when it’s about something else…

*Getting better at painting, learning more about anatomy etc. is precious to me all in itself but to go and create a painting, I just need to know I will show it off to people. Somehow the creation is hard without it. Just reading and watching and inhaling art, that is fine alone.

[Naghite]

Food today, another big day. Seems I have grown used to eating such large amounts in a day. I wonder how long it will take for my intake to fall next week when I start eating daily again. Anyway, 369 g prot, 433 g fat, 28 g carbs with 5483 calories today. Woah.

[JJFiddle]

Midnight here, just home from the gig. A wonderful evening, a very good day all around.
Both students canceled this morning, so we went through some music, and then I worked on hymn tunes for tomorrow’s church, writing and transposing. We played the restaurant and the response wasn’t bad, but then went to the bar for the 3rd hour as usual and the response was unbelievable~ we’ve experienced that there before but this was really great. People sang along to every tune, made tons of requests, and in general they had a wonderful time. So satisfying to have a happy involved audience and have every tune hit home.
This morning about ten, I took a break from our rehearsing and ate 2 hard boiled eggs.
This afternoon I cut a slice of pork butt for lunch and it was plenty food - high fat.
Just now I fixed 2 slices ground sausage and 2 eggs in ghee. A good day and now time to wind down and turn in!
Tomorrow morning, church, then the roadhouse for picker’s circle (we think - will wait for a phone call, maybe will take the afternoon off!)

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[MeganNZ]

Grace went dramatically downhill late yesterday afternoon and I didn’t know if she would make it through the night. I made the heart wrenching decision today to let her go. She was still fighting so hard to live but her fighting was just prolonging her inevitable and not too far off death. A vet came to our home today and euthanized her. It was the best possible death for her. Sedated first so she fell asleep in our arms being stroked and loved and talked to. Then when we were ready the vet injected the IV anaesthetic and she died.

It has all happened so quickly. Ruby and I are heart broken. But I did the right thing by her, my last and maybe greatest act of love.

Rest In Peace Grace.
27 July 2011 - 27 November 2022.

[Naghite]

Sorry for your loss, and good for you for doing the hard but right thing.

[Shinita]

Yes, it’s better to save poor thing from some more time spent in suffering.
RIP Grace! Her memories surely will live on for a long time more…

[Fangs]

hen went to the bar for the 3rd hour as usual and the response was unbelievable~ we’ve experienced that there before but this was really great.

wow JJ. It must be so satisfying your career in life is to make others happy in your work. Most slug away in cubicles and work for the man but in the end you guys just send out fine toe stomping singin’ music. Love that!

@MeganNZ
Sending hugs and condolences. I know. Been thru it also with so many horses, dogs and cats and more. It is hard. Just remember all good times All one can do. You did the best you could for her. Thank you for sharing your journey with her.

------------------------so I ate a little taco meat last night. ugh. only a few tablespoons thank heavens cause I got some heartburn pretty fast. only a 1 Tums correction. bleck. Told family they can’t have tacos anymore for dinner and they said, nope, that ain’t happening, YOU JUST stop taking spoonfuls of the meat HAHA Yes they are right of course.

got 2 big ol’ pork chops for today later and not sure on dinner.

big big rain here. I ‘think’ hubby is thinking eating out…shoot me…so will check on that and always steer toward a restaurant that suits me best or just eat well before. Do have more burger and chicken defrosted so I am covered for today.

first meal easy. second meal possibly up for family changes kinda. Eh, been there done that, will do fine LOL

Any Dec names coming to mind? I had DelishDecember but maybe DedicatedZC’ember? help someone HA

[Shinita]

Advent arrived… The very fun FB group I frequent immediately brought some advent wreath ideas from creative Hungarians.
I have no idea if the first is carnivore, it’s not impossible… Unusual not to use rice for those not-sausages but as I already know, originally it was just liver and fat tissue and spices…

Here the first “candle” is even lit, witty!

And some people thought it stupid as it costs as much as a proper wreath… But that’s just some plants for decoration while this thing is edible I would choose this. Not the first one, I don’t eat pig feet, no matter how super popular it is now, people cook aspic everywhere! Alvaro’s Mom likes eating pig feet. Alvaro and me want a decent amount of MEAT with our fat, thank you very much…

Fatty pork is frying and roasting in my kitchen now. Just the super fatty scraps as that was cheapest in the little town supermarket but it’s meat and fat just the same, I have no problem with it occasionally. I used up almost all my lard so it’s nice to have more rendered.
So I should come back to carni already. I had my fun, my inner rebel maybe never felt this good… It was so liberating despite I didn’t feel I was particularly limited… Sadly I don’t feel in time that I should relax or change my ways a tiny bit… No, I am fine, fine, fine and then things escalate quickly and I don’t understand (it wasn’t fully like this now, I decided to go off a bit but some part of me was surprisingly happy with it. but I had a sudden chaos before, it comes after some time on carnivore). Some conscious decision is still there (it’s having lunch what is accidental lately… I decide not to and I don’t even prepare my normal food, just eat a few bites because Alvaro does the same… coffee easily triggers some calories and more and more, tomorrow I quit, I run out of my cheap one anyway and I respect my fancy one. they are very good mixed) but I still do things I definitely don’t want. Sigh. It’s hard. And I have no idea how to keep myself from accidental eating. I really will think about my mask idea (wearing mask when Alvaro comes home so I won’t put food into my mouth. it works for berry picking too I think but I don’t do that until June). Of course I try not to make food too early but it’s not always convenient or even possible.

And we still eat the rabbit stew, of course. It improved since yesterday as the too watery liquid became super fun jelly. Aspic. Whatever is the word in this case, I am not sure.

[Fangs]

And I have no idea how to keep myself from accidental eating. I really will think about my mask idea (wearing mask when Alvaro comes home so I won’t put food into my mouth. it works for berry picking too I think but I don’t do that until June)

no don’t do this. Do not punish yourself in this way for ‘eating’ in our lives ya know. Now I know this is ‘how I read this’ part but I feel it is more ‘how can I change’ with outside tools like a mask to get what and where I wanna be? good post but guessing a bit at what big info is hidden in it maybe? I ain’t good at that ya know…lol…but I try LOL

Key being. You aren’t putting boundaries on your lifestyle of eating to make goals you feel you want. Or you can’t ‘find that line’ of how tight can I be without losing my mind over all this dieting crap? I know I walked tons but if this kinda info ain’t you I get it but I feel like you are ‘so straddling’ a line and you are not ever sure where that line ‘should be for you’ in a way. Kinda that gray area of confusion.

S what are your goals. You seem fit. You seem healthy. You seem ok on weight thru your posts but not sure if you have goals I am not sure of now when I read your posts. Goals? I am saying more about do ya got more to lose cause you are shorter? Need jiggle fat gone but that doesn’t sound like you to me. I feel ‘like you are kinda’ there ya know in your health/scale goals and more but not sure on it.

So are you ok in your goals now. If so then you are fine ya know…if you feel ya need XYZ then boundaries gotta be in place on what eating changes suit you for long term to hold whatever benefits ya gain doing just that.

OK JUST CHAT here. Back and forth to know you more and whatta’ want etc and where you are at

[Karen18]

So so sorry to hear your sad news. You were with her through to her passing and in time the painful memories will be replaced by the wonderful happy memories of your time with her. She is now pain-free and will have been aware you were holding her in your arms comforting her

[Karen18]

never seen carnivore Christmas wreaths before, so funny but absolutely with you on this one that you can eat them so 8y isn’t going to waste a penny

[Karen18]

Don’t think I posted yesterday!

I had chicken chicken and more chicken but not really the best chicken I could eat. I got up and did my usual read n brew outside before going off to CrossFit for a teams workout with my daughter. Very cough provoking lol but I got there through lots of burpees, barbell work and skipping ! Returned home for another half hour of reading. Finished the book God is for Real by Todd Burpo and started Confessions of a Pastor by Craig Groeschel another book hard to put down. I am also still reading his Daily Power 365 days book. So I ate packet of cooked Tikka Chicken slices microwaved with butter. Then after taking Raymond shopping ate another packet of cooked chicken only this time it was cold and it was thai chicken. I also ate the remaining 5 cold chicken wings from day before and then later ate another packet of Thai chicken reheated in frying pan with butter… better than cold. I had a sneaky feeling all those additives would effect my sleep and they did. I went to bed about 9pm and dozed from about 10pm till just after midnight and then I was spark awake for an hour n half before dropping off again.

Needless to say I had a lay in this morning. I was awake on and off, on the loo etc throughout the night so at 8am I decided I had no need to get up and went back to sleep till 9.25am.

Back outside with brew n books all morning. It was fairly mild at 11° and quite still so i enjoyed all the reading I did. As I said hard to put my latest book down but I guessed this one would be like that as I like the way Craig writes, very straight and down to earth.

So I had another packet of the Thai chicken done in fry pan with butter. Thought if I ate it early in the day it may not affect my sleep so much. Also made a belly pork roast. That was/is, cos I haven’t eaten it all yet, very tasty and tender.

Saturday and Sunday food plus this evenings lovely pink tinged clouds

[robintemplin]

In her home, asleep in your arms. We should all be so lucky to pass that way.

[Shinita]

What? I never punish myself, of course not. I just use objects to protect me when I want that protection, it is very hedonistic.
Feeling rightly bad because accidental eating (and suffering the many other bad consequences of it) is the bad way where I actually suffer. I won’t stand that.

My goals? Being a better hedonist, health, energy and proper weight (I am fat. barely but ~25kg extra is much for me if it’s mostly on my middle). And convenience and whatever.
I need my tiny eating window and I really should ensure it instead just struggling, failing and having problems.

I am bad with boundaries and control. I probably need tricks. Or 1-2 more decades, who knows? I have my limits, I never will force myself into what I need or I need to be sneaky about it, hiding the forcefulness even from myself…

But no, it’s not so bad, I did OMAD before, I can start it, it just tends to fall apart but I feel a bit more ready for it to happen. I just failed this week every day and accidentally ate lunch though often small ones as even I can’t eat a big one accidentally. Unless I get super hungry (only the start accidental there but the same result) but I don’t.

It’s pretty bad that it’s glaringly obvious what I need, I just can’t do it as it doesn’t come automatically and I can’t control myself. Sigh. Just a tiny bit so I work with that.

---

My fatty pork produced a lot of lard and now I have a bunch of fried fat tissue cubes. I ate the ones with meat on them. Maybe they will be fine in scrambled eggs. Wait I have quark, there is a very traditional pasta dish with quark, sour cream and scratching. Pasta has a way better very great replacement, eggs so it’s all carnivore.

[JJFiddle]

An easy zc day here. Sunday, the day of rest! Went to church with an empty stomach and ate a spicy sausage there - spicy so added a cup of coffee with half and half. (I would rather have heavy cream.} No afternoon gig! Chicken and hamburger for lunch, eggs and sausage and bacon for dinner.
Sailing on ZC, happy times.
@MeganNZ Condolences Grace loved you, you did your best for her; So sorry to lose her!