Keto Complaint Department

(Full Metal Keto) #1498

Even if the waist band is stretched and turning into a ruffle?

(Bacon is the new bacon) #1499

Yep! If it doesn’t have holes in embarrassing places, it’s not time to replace it!

(Even then, it’s not time yet, but that’s the point at which a wife or girlfriend will throw it out. . . . :grin:)

(Mike) #1500

Unless the existing holes are too large. That can be as bad as new ones!

(Cynthia Anderson) #1501

I found underwear on sale and bought some. They were too big and they didn’t have the ones I wanted in my new smaller size.

(Dan) #1502

I’m getting really tired of readjusting my car seat and steering wheel… Move the seat up, extend the steering wheel, move the seat up… When will it end?

(Amanda) #1503

I know a company that does this by mail order. Let me know if you are interested.

(KCKO, KCFO) #1504

Thanks for the offer, but there is a local gal here who will do these kinds of jobs. Now if I can just dig them all out of their hiding places, I didn’t want them hitting the rag bag for the garage so I had to hide them from DH.

(Danielle) #1505

I would like to complain about the fact that my co-workers have started complaining that I’m “too happy/energetic” in the mornings. :smiley:

(Bacon is the new bacon) #1506

Solution: slip MCT oil into their coffee to wake them up. :bacon:

(Natasha) #1507

Bahhaahahha! This was happening to me! I couldn’t take it anymore and bought a whole load of new underwear last month… its so good not feeling them rumple up under my trousers!

(Jane) #1508


Too funny!!!

(Lauren) #1509

I came out of the bathroom, and the apt was quiet. Too quiet. I walk into the kitchen to find the 3 and 4yr old “washing” each other’s hair with “bacon water” (aka bacon grease). From the jar I keep on the counter. That is broken on the floor.

Thanks a bunch, keto! Before this woe, I wouldn’t have had jars of bacon grease.

(Jane) #1510


(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #1511

But their hair will be silky smooth and shiny! Remember mayo hair treatments? I sure do! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

(Lauren) #1512

I do remember mayo hair treatments. I suffered through many as my mother tried to tame my thick, curly, frizzy hair. It was YEARS before I could smell mayo again w/o gagging.

(Carl Keller) #1513

@GhostlySmile I only wish you had some pics of this. :smiley:

(Lauren) #1514

I wish I did too! I was trying to hussle the spawn to the bathtub w/o surrendering to the rage. It was not funny in the moment. It is now that they are washed and in bed. Hard to stay mad at these faces.

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #1515

See, so shiny! Beautiful kids, btw. I don’t envy the age group and that you have TWO of them but they sure are cute.

(Carl Keller) #1516

Really cute kids Lauren. I love that you are teaching them not to fear snakes.


I do not own a belt that fits (they’re all still too small), but now my pants are getting so big I need something to hold them up. I think this might be called The Ketovore’s Dilemma.