Keto Complaint Department

(*Tame Those Ghrelin Gremlins) #1478

My favorite dress shirt now looks like a night gown on me.

(Elizabeth Kawaguchi) #1479

I literally LOL’d! Come to think of it my farting has lessened quite a bit and I quite enjoyed stinking out my kids :rofl::rofl:


Ahhh crap. Thanks keto!

I was just in a meeting at work and wondering why there was a strong smell of butter. Was keto unlocking some new (weird) signals telling me I was hungry through the power of smell? No, clearly not. What was happening then?

I sat there, bemused, and got through most of the meeting. Then I reached into my pocket to grab my wallet (I wanted to check if I had a certain card in there before heading outside after the meeting) and everything became crystal clear in about 0.002 seconds.

My beautiful leather wallet was now a bit gloopy, and not its usual dark brown colour. My hands were instantly oily, like I’d just dipped my hand into a pot full of Vaseline. A quick glance at my hands and all became clear: I’d put two small butter portions in my pocket this morning to eat along with my breakfast and had completely forgotten about them. Clearly the top of my leg was too warm because it had gradually melted the butter during the course of the morning until the pocket now contained my wallet, two empty butter wrappers, and a pool of warm, golden butter.

I’ve washed my hand twice and still can’t get the smell out. I guess I’m Mr. Butter now for the rest of the day.

(KCKO, KCFO) #1481

OMG, this should be in the humor thread!!! What a visual I got.

(Mike) #1482

Old Butterbur, always forgetting things :slight_smile:

(Hyperbole- it’s the best thing in the universe! ) #1483

Gonna have to start butter-proofing your pockets.

(Janelle) #1484

I can totally relate! At work they had a “bagel” day. I skipped the carbs but nicked these. Guess what I found in my purse?

(Full Metal Keto) #1485

First I was too big to wear a lot of my vintage T- Shirts. …

Pretty soon I am going to look ridiculous if I wear any of them cause they’re getting baggy :confused:

(KCKO, KCFO) #1486

Time to find a seamstress and get those vintage Tees made into a quilt top. I have some tees with aboriginal art on them I will be doing that for shortly. I can’t bear to toss them out no matter how large they are. I don’t sew so will be hiring someone to do that for me.

(Hyperbole- it’s the best thing in the universe! ) #1487

I was trying to think of a guy friendly t-shirt hack. I quilt is perfect. Who doesn’t want a cosy jersey fabric blanket?

(IDM Educator) #1488

Speaking of vintage t-shirts, it’s highly possible I could fit into my Boston, Blue Oyster Cult, Journey, Van Halen, Styx, Head East, and original Prince concert t-shirts again someday. All purchased in my late teens and early twenties. I’m 55

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #1489

@David_Stilley, I make gigantic t shirts into dresses by sewing a bit here and there. I don’t imagine you want a dress but sometimes just turning it inside out and sewing an inch in on both sides, up through the sleeves turns an xxl into a large. If you’re any good with a sewing machine it’s worth a try on those old true favorites!


This might be a too much information thing, but in the last week I’ve had a real problem with my underwear falling down constantly inside my pants. I wear scrubs to work so they don’t help keep them up like tighter pair of jeans or pants do. It’s very hard to discreetly pull your underwear up 30 times a day.

(Bacon is the new bacon) #1491

Here’s where a discrete safety pin or two can be of use. Or if you have a sewing machine, a quick nip and tuck at the seams.

I tend to like my shirts loose, so the ones that used to be bursting at the seams are now quite comfortable. I have a couple of pairs of 36-inch trousers that now fit—tightly, but they can actually be buttoned at the waist!—it’s amazing The underwear still fits, because this is the size I was when I got it. Fortunately, the Dollar Store has a decent selection, all at my favorite price: cheap!!

(Janelle) #1492

Or buy new underwear. Yep, they’re a good investment.

(Bacon is the new bacon) #1493

But if your underwear doesn’t have holes in it yet, it’s not yet time to shop for more!

(Janelle) #1494

Probably the wrong place for this discussion but the last time I bought underwear, I thought, “Gosh, these are kind of expensive.” It’s not like I was buying Victoria’s Secret. I was buying a multi pack of Hanes. I started thinking about it though, and really, how long do you hold onto your underwear? For an $18 purchase like I was making, I had to tell myself to stop being so silly and just spend the money.

(Libby) #1495

Yeah, but 20 year old underwear has a certain patina that is absent from the new pairs…:face_vomiting:

(KCKO, KCFO) #1496

I actually cried the day I could wear my “You are Here” tee again. I have a few other small tees that I can wear again as well. I had just really missed that tee, it has great sentimental value to me.

Darned keto, how can I get depressed when such joyous things like that happen?

(Full Metal Keto) #1497

Rock on Brenda :sunglasses::metal::metal::metal::metal: