“Keto made me naked! I swear, officer!”
Keto Complaint Department
Yes, but what you CAN do and what is SMART to do aren’t always in alignment
Great - I spent two weeks off work for Christmas so didn’t do my. normal daily bike rides, doing nothing more strenuous than walking the dog and I didn’t manage to put any bloody weight on at all. Instead I just found that I wasn’t as hungry and so never managed to get through all the paté, cheese and salami I’d bought.
And to make matters worse, when I did finally get back on my bike yesterday, I didn’t even appear to have lost much of my fitness.
How exactly am I meant to justify torturing myself with some variety of January hairshirt diet bullshit when absolutely everything is fine?
Keto is the worst.
Agreed. I lost 10 pounds over the holiday season. I have NOTHING to wring my hands over and I feel so left out of the January seasonal “resolution” social activities. I didn’t get to participate in the binging, and now I don’t get to participate in the remorse.
I feel so anti-social.
And as long as I am complaining - I have blown through my old wardrobe so fast that I am getting into the territory where I no longer kept the older clothes and may have to buy new ones - but I am concerned that I won’t get to wear them long enough to get my money’s worth.
I didn’t gain a single gram during the holidays…i can’t go on crazy diets that only last for a few days and/or complain about my bloated stomach and how much food I ate and how much money I spent on food…damn…
My butt’s now too small to hold up my 38" jeans. Am I going to have to drill yet another hole in my belt? C’mon, keto!
I just had to get my hands wet washing some cutlery, a pan and some cups.
The reason this is a keto complaint is that I’m 28 hours into an expected 48-hour fast, and I wanted to tidy my sink off, and there isn’t enough stuff to put in the dishwasher to warrant putting it on.
Another complaint, I have to put up with my colleagues telling me that my bacon and boiled egg breakfast (with bacon nectar dripping off the bacon BTW) is somewhere “between death and poison”. I just chuckled as he spooned a mouthful of granola and almonds into his mouth.
Another colleague told me that I would be ‘eating something by tomorrow lunchtime’ (24 hours after I started my fast), and that he couldnt’ do it because he would be hangry. Well, that lunchtime was 5 and a half hours ago, and I’m fasted at 28:28:28 (yes I waited a few seconds so I could type that last 28
This morning he asked me what I had brought in for lunch.
I’m going to send him a WhatsApp of me having my break fast tomorrow or Sunday. A nice juicy Rib eye with lashing of butter on it.
I could, but I will want to use the items tomorrow or Sunday when I have break fast.