Keto Complaint Department

(LeeAnn Brooks) #1029

I’ve been pinned by a Great Dane who thought she was a lap dog. She was sweet, but it was almost an hour before she would let me up.

#1030

My “puppy” is 205lb fighting weight. Its like trying to move a brick wall when he puts the brakes on. Lord knows what hed weigh if we fed him doggie sad diet #ketodog. & yup, he likes to sit on yer lap…:roll_eyes:

(LeeAnn Brooks) #1031

wow, that’s a big puppy. Makes my wonder about your user name. How well does a 200#+ dog run? My black lab is a horrible runner. He will do about a half mile and then slows right down. He gives me guilt trips everytime I go out running, cuz he wants to be taken along even though he doesn’t want to run. He prefers to be a big lazy baby, cuddling on the sofa with mama.

#1032

So serious keto gripe.
Just bought a really cool pair of capris in my new smaller size, and for once, something I bought online fit perfectly when they came.
Its only been 2 weeks and I had to order the next size down as there already falling down. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

#1033

Well… its more like…”short sprints with dogs followed by lotsa walking” but that was kinda long to type LOL
Hes actully suprisingly agile for a mastiff, and does zoomies like a loonie when out , wrestles around with the lil dog (85lb german shepherd…”little” lol) but then just ambles along the rest of the walk. He loves to run with me but thinks dragging you along by your sleeve is how your supposed to do it…:roll_eyes:

(Christopher Avery) #1034

I lose focus on my work every time @Brenda posts another recipe (like this one Deep Fried Deviled Eggs!)

Dang!

(Ashley) #1035

I know I didn’t make it, but her posting that made me make egg salad! Yum

#1036

Yassss! My husband and I homebrewed beer for 14 years.

#1037

My Kroger has it’s own brand of flavored water. One is cranberry lime… Better with vodka.
Damn keto, I can stop after one cocktail!

(Aimee Moisa) #1038

Damnit keto, I’m trying to fast and the neighbors are BBQing. Why you make me crave fat and protein now?!?

(Jeanne Wagner) #1039

I know right!? I was craving fat the other day when I was fasting, instead of carbs. Thank the Lord.

(Aimee Moisa) #1040

Damnit, Keto! You work too well. I sleep on my belly on an old, clunky sleep number mattress and now I have to wake my husband up to inflate my side 'cause my belly is smaller and my back is jackknifing. Such an inconvenience!

(I came for the weight loss and stayed for my sanity... ) #1041

I used to sell chainsaws amongst other stuff. (in another lifetime) make sure to get cutproof trousers along with it, before you get @Alecmcq a heart attack. :joy:
Also make sure to have good gloves, and they should never be wet, to reduce “vibration translation” I have no Idea if that is the right expression…

other that that… go girl! :muscle::metal:

(Alec) #1042

Dead bloody right. Bloody dangerous things! :scream::see_no_evil:

(Deb) #1043

My “keto complaint”:
Getting ready to go on vacation to the beach, and, darn, none of last year’s bathing suits fit. The bottoms just fall right off. (Unfortunately, the tops are a little looser , too. You can’t plan where the fat falls off from. :joy:

(Donna) #1044

Darn you, Keto! Even my dentist visits have changed. Not as much scaling needed and my gums are looking healthier. Hygienist says sugars and starches cause more acid in the mouth, not good for the teeth/gums.

(bryan vandyke) #1045

My coccyx hurts. All the padding on my work chair is gone. And so has the padding on my backside.

Between this and I keep having to buying new belts. I’m not sure the 80 lbs of water weight from this fad diet is worth it. :wink:

#1046

This newbie finds this extremely relatable… I’m down to 1 tbsp (just enough for morning coffee) and I’ll be buying more tomorrow. I did almost panic about the situation until I remembered the 4th and heart jar of grass fed ghee I had stashed :sunglasses:

(Marta Loftfield) #1047

LOL @bryanv, I was just commenting on this same thing. Hate to think I need new chairs!

(Hoteski) #1048

Dear keto,

Firstly I hate how my boyfriend is always complimenting me these days after years of never saying anything. It sucks that I now have to buy yet another sports bra as the current one is just too baggy and oh my gosh … I hate how I can now wear very high heels and not be in agony or walk like a penguin, I had perfected the penguin walk and now I have to walk with confidence. Such a pain. The other day I had to go to a conference and saw loads of people who haven’t seen me in months and everyone, male and female complimented me on how great I looked… Do you know what that does to a person used to being hidden in the background… Damn you keto
I actually am starting to believe in myself and grow in confidence, what the heck… Like decades of talking down to myself and now it’s like… None existent. Just all this positivity in my own mind. Then there is the skin looking all nice and never craving food. Even my planta phisiatus is none existent… My Dr never gets to see me anymore as nothing ever seems to be wrong with my body no more. No more IBS, no more foot pains, no more depression, no more pleurasy, no more getting every cold and flu out there.

Think you have a lot to answer for keto

EXPLAIN YOURSELF !!!

sincerely

Hoteski