Hey all,
What do you do when your internal dialogue is super negative about your body image? I’ve fought with this my whole life and I really want to make it stop. I can’t even look in the mirror right now… `
Internal Dialogue
Sadie
#1
PetaMarie
(squirrel-kissing paper tamer)
#2
Think of all the things that body does for you like moving you around the world and think and love and all of the sensations you take for granted that your body gives you. Being angry at your body doesn’t serve any purpose besides making you feel bad. Try working with it.
If you think the world is viewing you through the same self-loathing lens you are using then it just compounds the situation. And even if everyone truly thought you looked wonderful, it wouldn’t matter until you believed it yourself. That’s where you have to start.
I think clearing our head of mean inner dialogue is the first step in changing bad habits. When you hear yourself doing it stop and say the opposite (something positive). Even if you don’t believe it, do it anyway and keep doing it. Eventually it won’t feel weird and I promise you’ll begin to feel better about yourself.
TimeForMe
#3
I wish I had a great answer to help you. It sucks when you just can’t shake the harmful self-talk.
I’ve tried two things in the past that have helped me. Sometimes only temporarily but long enough that, after some repetition, it broke me out of the negativity.
- Meditation - I’m not someone who is good at meditating, not a yoga person, don’t even have the patience for it tbh. But I found a couple good apps that didn’t make me feel like I should easily be able to sit still with my thoughts for 60 minutes. (“Headspace” is one of them. Can’t recall the other right now. I’ll look for it.) Just the short bits of affirmation, taking up time that would’ve been spent on negativity in and of itself meant I was spending less time thinking poorly of myself.
- I would try to see myself through a respected and trusted friend’s eyes. Not literally picturing myself as they do but more asking myself … what would Jennifer say about my tummy? Well, she’d say “Girl! You have a tummy and so what! You had a baby, you’re strong and beautiful. Screw it! You’re gorgeous!” Thinking of that coming from someone who truly wouldn’t lie to me, someone who I trust and believe, somehow helps.
Oh and a third one… get a therapist. Sometimes you just have to figure out why you think that way… a sort of “treat the disease, not just the symptoms” way about it. I’ve had good therapists over the years though. Doesn’t always work for everyone.
CarlKeller
(Carl Keller)
#4
What did Michelangelo do when he saw an ugly lump of clay? He worked to free the beauty within. Stop using hindsight when you look in the mirror. Use your foresight, focus on your positive qualities and keep telling that person you see in the mirror that hormonal disfunction will not define you! You can do it Sadie. 
coffeekittie
(Parker the crazy crone lady)
#5
I agree with @PetaMarie (not that I don’t with the others). Thinking of all that my body allows me to do reminds me of how valuable it is. After I broke my ankle but good (tri malleolar sp?), I was hit with how much I’d taken my body for granted. Not only am I more careful now, I appreciate being able to move around, dance, breathe, and give and get hugs. Nothing to do with feeling attractive, but still, valuing my body. It’s a great place to start.
Meerkatsandy
#6
It is all a head game, try cognitive therapy on yourself Repeat it until you believe it!! Train yourself to ignore those negative thoughts and look at all the positive things, let those be your source of strength. I still have days when I feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin, it is never 100% better, 80-20 is good enough. 
It takes time, a lot of talking to yourself, but sooner or later our brains catch up.
You are an adult and unfortunately, you/we made some bad choices along the way, but you are more than just body. It is not a big deal to others, you yourself are making a mountain out of a molehill, confidently embrace the whole package.
I have two quotes from “Coddling of the American Mind:” Shakespeare - “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” and Milton - “the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
