@juice is the one who took the time to write out a helpful guide for new folks. I see the question, roll my eyes and move on without comment. Who is being “nicer” there?
Insert obligatory I stopped losing weight post
anon54735292
#103
I sometimes respond only when my eyeballs get tired. @juice’s primer has indeed come in handy 
PaulL
(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?)
#105
Just wish I could be a calm voice more often.
In my defense, however, I don’t usually intend to stir things up, but it happens anyway. When it is on purpose, however, stand well back!
There is no solution to the newbie problem. People are going to do what they are going to do, and the only way they will change is by coming to want to change. I am mostly okay with the repeated questions, because I am always refining my answers.
The accusation of rudeness is tricky to deal with, however, because it can be manipulative, rather than honest. If there is to be a response, it has to come from logic, not from emotion. There is a series of questions I was taught to ask:
“Does it need to be said?”
“Does it need to be said right now?”
“Does it need to be said right now by me?”
“Does it need to be said right now by me in this way?”
If the answer at any point is No, then keeping one’s mouth shut is generally the more useful path . . . 
Ruina
(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!)
#106
Good attitude! I shall endeavor to emulate it.
The one I learned is:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
anon54735292
#107
I’ll give that a go - can’t imagine ever answering yes to the third though so that’s me on mute.
PaulL
(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?)
#108
Oh no, sometimes you have to be the one to say it!
ChMurr15
(Char)
#110
I wrote a letter to Darren and then decided to repost it here. You all don’t know me and I don’t know you. I think that’s where the trouble lies, so let me explain. So here it is.
“ I’m going to go out on a huge limb here, So please bear with me. I deleted my account and then took a very long, hill intensive walk… about 3 miles just to unload all of my frustrations with the day. When I got home I stood in my driveway for 15 minutes reading all the replies to my comment because I forgot to turn off the email alert. I read them all. Several times in fact and I wanted to respond to yours.
I didn’t read all of the comments to the original post, no, because there were there 75 replies, I did read about the first 20 before my eyes were glazing over. When it comes to the forums I’m on (which is a few on various topics), my own general rule of thumb is to 1) research anything I say before posting a response so I don’t look like a dumb ass and spread misinformation, and 2) I also never comment on anything before I get a general sense of the main contributors abd frequent flyers. I broke that rule pretty badly.
I did research roughly three months before starting keto in November. It was and still is a total shit show trying to weed through fact from propaganda and websites saying anything they need to just to peddle their “keto” crap because it’s what the cool kids are doing these days.
I was a massive carbaholic. About 75% of my diet was carbs. Pastas, breads, potatoes, I loved them all. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes January 2017 when I was pregant with my now 19 month old twins. I was stabbing myself with needles an upwards of 10 times a day and I had a small taste of what a keto diet was like. After they were born I was 5’7, 275lbs and prediabetic… Just .1% from being type 2 and nothing I learned through the experience stuck except for the fact that I did not want to be a type 2. So after dealing with post partem depression and REALLY hating myself for the last 3 years I decided I was going to do something about it. So I decided to start keto (247lbs). I’ve only been at this for 8 weeks, but I’ve done well so far… at least I think I have. I’ve lost 25lbs since I started. I eat healthy foods, I supplement a little, I walk, and I don’t dirty keto. I have had my slips but I pulled myself up and I learn from my triggers and instead of emotional eating like I’ve done for the last 25 years… I take really long walks.
I wanted to tell you all this because keto isn’t some new years resolution for me or some fad diet I’m on because the celebrities are doing it. I have a genuine NEED to lose this weight and I’m motivated to make this a permanent lifestyle change. I’m not going to die at 38 of congestive heart failure like my brother or from cancer like my dad at 62, or even parkinson’s like my mom at 67. These are all things I can and want to actively prevent. The only family I have left is my sister. Everyone else died within in the last 4 years. I’m a stay at home mom of 5. Forums like this is where I wanted to be to help me sift through all the junk science and rhetoric thats out there about keto. To learn from the people who have been doing this for years and take advantage of their knowledge and experience, to feel welcome. I’m trying so hard to better myself and to be made to feel like I’m stupid or just doing this for shits and giggles made me regret joining. All because I made a dumb comment that I got from here…
https://blog.bulletproof.com/not-losing-weight-on-keto/
So that’s who I am. That’s why I’m here. I’m 37 years old and scared to death of dying young because my family has a bad track record for dying before their time. I would go to facebook if I were a 25 year old looking to lose 10 lbs, but I’m not. I’m a 37 year old looking to lose 68 more pounds and keep it off. I know where the knowledge is and it’s not on social media.
In your Deep Thoughts post (which was sent to my email) you asked “Has something changed overall, or is it that the current crop of new members have a different perception of what they should expect from this forum than I had?”
My response is that all I expected was to be treated with some dignity and courtesy. That’s all. Like I said in my previous post. If I’m wrong I want someone to tell me so I know… so I can learn. I have no issue with being called out for misinformation, but doing it with some decency would have been nice so I wasn’t made to feel like a lesser person. That’s why i quit. I felt very small and discouraged. I’m a participater… someone asked a question and I was only trying to help… to contribute to be a part of the community instead of an onlooker. I’m doing keto on my own. I don’t personally know anyone who has been doing this for years so I rely on places like this to help me through the muddy waters.
Anyway… that’s it. That’s me. Sorry this is so long. Thanks for hearing me out.”
I hope this helps for you guys to see where I’m coming from.
anon2571578
#113
I understand why you might have felt you were piled on, and I understand why people who have been Keto for a long time get tired of hearing the same problems and wrong information over and over. I would suggest the best mode at this point is to accept that neither side meant harm, that none of this is worth blowing up about. Tho you have quit the forum and deleted your account, so it seems that is that.
juice
(Running from stupidity)
#114
PLEASE don’t stress about that, it’s something I’m very used to. Especially from people like, say, Gaff
I think the ensuing discussion has explained a few things, so I’ll just leave it at that.
Cory_Allaire
(Cory Allaire)
#116
Original poster of this thread here, seemed like the original point got buried somewhere.
As far as the treatment of noobs, my main issue was I was finding constant conflicting answers to my questions with the search function. It’s hard to find consistent information, this thread for example: too much fat is bad, to much protein is bad, too much fat is good, too much protein is good, calorie too high is good, calorie too low is bad. People arguing about multiple points of each of these.
I do appreciate those who provide data, as I am a data person (main reason I keep track of macros and daily weight) those who blindly give information and start arguments with each other does not help anything. Some of the first few posts were super helpful and it than started becoming off track. Besides all that, this community is generally helpful.From what I can tell people just needs to lighten up a little. Isn’t the point that the point to the new person posting area? To ask new person questions? Just my two carbs (heehee get it instead of two cents)
I have ended up breaking my being stuck at 248.4 mark and I am now at 246.2 with officially 17 pounds being dropped at my two week mark. I know I have dropped mostly water weight and not too much fat. I have been recognized at my work for looking like I lost weight and I have dropped two pant sizes so something must be working, and it’s thanks to you guys. Keep calm, and keto on!
MooBoom
(MooBoom)
#117
Hey Char, I hope you can clean slate everything and start fresh. I totally get where you are coming from. There were times I felt unwelcome here as a noob, but I found a lot of kindness too. This forum really is the best place to be for getting the science and the facts, and the search bar is an awesome tool! By the same token though, you don’t know what’s been asked a million times and sometimes you just need support, as a noob.
So really, if regulars are getting shitty at seeing the same thing asked over and over (and that’s understandable too) it’d be better for everyone if they passed on and let someone who has deeper reserves of patience in that moment reply.
Just be kind folks, and eat bacon.
Ruina
(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!)
#118
Yeah, that happens.
Yeah, that happens, too.
I think it’s important to remember that a forum is just a place with people in it.
You can’t expect it to be as organized and disciplined as a classroom setting where students can ask teachers. It does take patience and discernment to figure out what advice applies in your situation.
In massive threads that go off the rails I think the first few posts are valuable for information. If the rest of the thread becomes annoying or uninteresting I just change the status of the thread from tracking to normal. If the thread threatens my peace of mind, then I mute it. Sad if it happens to your own thread, but hopefully you got what you needed first.
dlc96_darren
#119
Sorry Cory, I tried to steer it over to my thread, but it didn’t really work.
WooHoo!
Great report, Cory! Thanks.
CarlKeller
(Carl Keller)
#121
Yes, it is sadly true that the prevailing internet keto advice is to watch out for too much protein but through the teachings of Amy Berger and Ted Naiman and from me eating up to double what most macros suggest, I have to agree with:
That’s not to say you are entirely wrong in my view. Protein can be converted to sugar (glycogen/glucose) but only when it’s necessary.
Feel free to speak your opinion. I try to include escape clauses like “From what I understand” or “I believe” or “@juice told me”… just in case my statement is not completely valid. Being wrong is sometimes part of the learning process. 