How to do Keto diet without your spouse knowing it

(Lonnie Cherryholmes) #1

I want to do the Keto diet. My spouse does not want me to do it. She fears it will make me hangry and I have anger issues anyhow. I have been doing OMAD for a while but is that enough to get into Ketosis?

Maybe she will let me just do a water fast for multiple days, that would get me into Ketosis wouldn’t it?

Thanks for the help!

(Ethan) #2

I wouldn’t recommend taking secret action in a relationship that has these issues. Turn the issue around instead. If you have anger issues, keeping blood sugars steady on a keto diet could help. Why don’t you suggest to your spouse that you really want to work on your anger issues–both alone and together with her! Suggest that you see an anger management counselor for individual and couple sessions, but stress that if you are going to do that, you want to try everything possible for her and you, which means trying a keto diet also for your emotional and physical health

(Allie) #3

@EZB is right, trying to do it secretly will only cause more issues. Stable blood sugar can only be a good thing, there is no “hangry” on keto because that desperate need for food just isn’t an issue. Talk to her, show her research. If you can show her the good things keto leads to, just maybe she will change her opinion.

(Corey N) #4

I agree with this. Show her the science! My girlfriend and I got into all out fights about me starting Keto. But I kept showing her the science and now I’m 65 days in, 35 pounds down, and she started Keto last week!!!


Yeah. This.


My hangry evaporated rather quickly on keto. When my kids started commenting on it I knew it was real. Science, testimonials, N of 1 and maybe an agreement of “let’s try it for a month and then reevaluate.” Or ease into keto, eliminate all processed and starchy carbs, all sugar, eat green leafies, protein and green fats like olives and avo. Who can disparage a plate like that in any way? Sometimes I think calling it “keto” can sabotage efforts; it’s too evocative of lots of the assumptions folks may have about keto.

(Sophie) #7

Agree! Just call it a Mediterranean Diet and eat Keto. It’s just labeling and folks seem to find Mediterranean more palatable.

(Ren) #8

Keeping something from your significant other is definitely not a good thing. I was very interested in Keto and talked to my then fiance about it. She was against it, but when I talked about the science and said “hey, listen to 2ketodudes podcast and they will explain much more than I can.” She ended up listening to them, although she wasn’t a fan of their style. So she searched up other podcasts and found Leanne Vogel’s podcast and listened to it.

She was reluctant to give me her blessing, but she knew I wanted to give it a try. She agreed to let me try but wasn’t happy about it. The more she listened to Leanne Vogel, the more accepting she became. After a month of consuming the podcast and learning more, she actually debated on going keto as well. Then she made the jump to keto after she found out that it can help with Hypothyroidism and didn’t effect cholesterol in a negative way.

Give some materials like podcasts or articles about the Ketogenic diet to her, but don’t force her to listen. Tell her you are trying to take control of your health, so that you can be on the planet with her for a much longer time. And let her know that it won’t effect her normal day to day, but request that she not be negative or try to sabotage your way of eating.

(Christopher Bingel) #9

Just to reiterate what a lot of others have said, secret keto is not the answer. Convince your spouse if you can, compromise with them if you can’t, or in the worst case, assert your authority to make your own dietary decisions. Adding dishonesty to an already challenging dialogue will absolutely make things worse.


I agree with everything above. Communication is key.

This may not be the case with your relationship, but I have noticed that when either my husband or I was inspired to start a diet and the other one wasn’t, there was some resentment, sense of competition. It’s weird because of course I want the best for my spouse, but if he was starting a diet without me, in the back of my mind I’d feel a little panicked like, oh no he’s going to lose weight and I won’t be losing any! Not to mention, I would be losing my “eating friend,” because we would always goad each other into ordering pizza and such, but if he was dieting I wouldn’t want to sit there eating pizza in front of him, so I would deprived whether or not I was ready to give it up. I hope I’m explaining that right. It’s messed up for sure, but I think there can be this dynamic in a relationship where both people could use to lose some weight. That’s just a suggestion of something to consider, something to work through.

(Brian Miller) #11

Everything you need for success is contained in the responses above.

(Randy) #12

Show her the science.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #13


My fiancé had a HUGE problem with my eating this way, regardless of the fact that it was a medical doctor that prescribed this way of eating to me. I told him I wanted to give it a solid month, and then if he didn’t (or I didn’t) like it, that I would let the doctor know that we needed to find something else.

Needless to say, I’m still going strong, and I’m well past my one-month marker. He has noticed a significant improvement in my energy levels, my anxiety, depression is nearly gone, my moods are completely stabilized… I’d say, go ahead with THAT explanation.

(Judi Campion) #14

Can’t add much more to the above. Best of luck.

(Lonnie Cherryholmes) #15

Wow I want to thank ALL of you for the GREAT advice! I have not made any drastic changes just yet but do plan to attempt some of these many great ideas y’all have given me.

Thank You Again!


Or just don’t label it anything. I don’t to most folks, unless I know they’re ‘safe’. It’s like the first rule in fasting. Granted, it’s a more difficult to do this with a partner who already knows that keto is in the picture.

(Empress of the Unexpected) #17

I totally agree with that. When my husband cooks I just eat what’s keto. He doesn’t really care what I eat -he knows it’s entirely my decision.

(Lonnie Cherryholmes) #18

Just a small update…
I have learned that IF can help me get to Ketosis and have recently started a 20/4 fast for Monday - Friday.

My spouse is fine with this. :smiley:

My T2D was out of control so I am cutting the CARBS for a good reason!


Other posters are correct that there is no “hangry” on keto, since you can eat as much as you need to be satiated…always. However, I will caution that you can run into some cranky desperate cravings the first few days while you are dealing with sugar/carb withdrawal. There are lots of tips on this forum to help you get through that brief challenge.

(Scarlett Hyde) #20

I’ve got no clue on relationships whatsoever but for anger issues, I took up meditation - not a religious type of meditation, just taking some time to myself and calming myself down, passing things of that are okay. I feel like I am controlling my anger issues as there was a time where I would punch trees (poor trees) out of anger and as a result have messed up bloody knuckles - makes it really hard for kickboxing when every punch you take in a punching bag is direct contact with raw flesh so I had to stop taking out my anger on the tree but rather I would meditate and if I’m really het up, I’d start doing some exercise, punching in a “punching bag” and etc.