Help Stress

(glen babicci) #1

So I have been following 2ketodudes for a while. Started keto in July past year (2016).
I am not diabetic, lost 5 kilos in about 3 weeks, and 9 kilos in 4 months with lot of ups and downs.
I can maintain keto for breakfast and while at work.

My problem is I live and look after my mother who is mildly bipolar and starting dementia, so she has no idea about trying to keep on a diet or me trying to maintain a diet.

I do most of the shopping and need to maintain bread, icecream chocolates etc to keep her cravings satisfied.

If i have a meal planned i have come home to find the meat i planned to use in a fry pan burnt, which isn’t a huge problem. But it is the stress that sends me into a carb and alcohol binge. this is same reaction my Dad had which is why he died about 3 years ago at 5’ 10" weighing 135 kilos.

Now after living with my mother for 3 years I have put on 25 kilos to wiegh 125 kilos the heaviest i have been in my life, starting to look like my Dad which is something I really wish to avoid.

This is becoming a long post, i think i can do the diet ok, it is ideas on how to handle the stress at home, which is different to people who have stress at work.

All ideas welcome thank you

(Jacquelyn Graham) #2

Having self-medicated with overeating for years, I do sympathize. It is tranquilizing and distracting, but definitely not the optimum method of coping. It sounds like you could use some help, does your community have home health care available? Sometimes health plans will cover the costs or there are organizations who can help.

Try and keep some healthier alternatives available that are more immediately satisfying. Fried bacon (women use purse bacon :slight_smile:) or a handful of macadamia nuts will give me that boost I need. I know when you are using food for emotional support its hard to get away from the things you know have worked to distract you in the past, but preparation can help a lot.

Do try and get some help with your mother, if at all possible, or join a support group for people caring for the elderly with dementia. You are not alone.

(Larry Lustig) #3

Honestly, your situation sounds rough. I’m sorry to hear life is so stressful for you.

I’ve had some mild family stuff going on (not as stressful as your situation). I also have to feed a family that has no interest in keto. But I maintain my own diet both for my own benefit and because it makes me better able to care for my family.

Best wishes. There are always people here to vent to.

(G. Andrew Duthie) #4

I recently went through some similar stress, caring for my mother who was suffering stage IV cancer. She did not suffer dementia, but the demands of her care, and her mental state during the illness (anger, denial when it became unsafe for her to get around on her own, etc.) caused a great deal of stress in our household.

The primary advice I would give is do not go it alone. There may be resources available through your local town or county government. In our area, there is an Area Agency on Aging. I wish I’d known about them sooner, as the representative there pointed me to a good many potential resources for in-home care for which my mom was eligible, but we didn’t find out about them until things had already gotten pretty far along.

I would also strongly recommend finding a good counselor to meet with on a regular basis. Stress can be toxic, particularly chronic stress. Engaging a competent mental health professional to help with this isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. The situation you’re in is incredibly difficult, and it’s one you shouldn’t have to go through alone.

Regarding your mom’s “cravings,” you may need to draw a line in the sand on that, and keep non-keto foods out of your home. Perhaps you can find some favorite fat bomb recipes that will help her adapt. Two major upsides to this, if you do, one, you won’t have non-keto foods around to tempt you, and two, there’s a decent chance that eating keto might help your mom’s mental state.

First priority, however, is dealing with your stress. Get some help, don’t go this alone.

(Richard Morris) #5

Sorry to hear that Glen.

As a listener you probably know I really am not a fan of exogenous ketones, but I’ll make an exception in the case of geriatrics who could apparently benefit from having ketones available to fuel their brains but can’t be expected to stick to a diet. The other factor is that most of the concern people have about racemic ketones may take decades to exhibit … for geriatrics something that could be bad over 10-30 years has to be weighed against their expected lifespan and quality of that lifespan.

So it might be that she might get some of the benefits of being in ketosis by eating ketones and MCT oil, and if that improves her dementia and bipolarity acting out, then that may help with your own stressors.

(Terri) #6

@glen.bab I am sorry that you are having to navigate such a difficult living situation and that it is making your management of a healthier WoE more complicated. From a logistics standpoint, if transitioning her toward a Ketogenic diet is not feasible, I might see if there is a way to make her food available to her and yours unavailable. Hopefully you would then have your healthier options still viable. It may also mean that you cannot buy much of your ingredients (like healthier meats) ahead of time. I know that these approaches add even more tasks to manage, but securing your food choices seems important to you. And adding to what @devhammer suggested, try to find other things that create some relaxation or peace for you (even a bit of a dopamine hit) so that food will not be as necessary as a comfort, escape, or point of pleasure (if this requires it be outside of your decided WoE).

#7

I wonder if you would find this video helpful? I first listened to her speak on Jimmy’s LLVLC show and was blown away. Her name is Mary Newport and she treated her husband’s alzheimers with coconut oil and had fantastic results. I believe there is an online support group of some kind connected to her work also.
https://youtu.be/Dvh3JhsrQ0w

#8

My mother also has some mild form of mental illness – though I don’t live in the same household. When this came to light during the last year, it stressed me so much I almost gave up the keto lifestyle (been on it since August 2015). What helped me a lot was a discussion with a psychologist who explained the illness to me and also what I can do and what I cannot. This took some pressure away. A useful tip was the following: Imagine your mother as “divided”. When she has good, clear moments, see her as the person you love and know. When the illness is taking over, tell yourself that now you have an ill person in front of you and don’t argue with her. This point of view may seem simple, but it helps me to feel less stressed when my mother is behaving strangely. Like others said before, try to get as much help as possible. I can really recommend discussing your stress with a professional who has experience with people who have bipolar. All the best.

(glen babicci) #9

Thanks Richard
Haven’t thought about the ketones, I am cooking with coconut oil, try to sneak mct oil into anything I can even Bullet Proof Brain Octane softgel tab, but the bipolar side rebels abit. I will look into ketones! thanks

(glen babicci) #10

Thanks I have heard watched the video and have 2 of her books although I haven’t them yet, I even show Mom the video and it went over her head.

(glen babicci) #11

Thanks to everyone who replied, even thats makes things a bit better. I was really surprised by the 1st couple of reply which only took a few minutes from when I did the 1st post.
I have just started seeing a Nutritionist for who works with a Doctor who specialises in brain health.
So there has been some recommendations for myself sleep protocol which involves mediation and sunlight, Believe it or not even walking on the beach in bare feet helps.

#12

Please keep coming back for support. We are here to help you but also just to be a friendly ear. x

(glen babicci) #13

OK update for people who are interested!
Since last Friday come home to find my mum has put chicken I was going to slow cook with in a micro wave and over cooked it.
Then Sunday won some chops in a meat raffle at local RSL club she left before me, come home to find chops broiled in fat.
Then tonight she fried a good rump steak with all the fresh vegetable left in the fridge.

So far haven’t had a drink or gone the the ice cream or bread in the freezer!

Regards

Glen

PS when I give any of this to her for dinner she takes 2 bites and says she’s had enough!

(Richard Morris) #14

Bare feet on the beach - yes.

There is an hypothesis that grounding the body with the earth provides discrete health benefits. From my reading, there would have to be a lot of new physics developed to support it. Doesn’t mean it’s not true tho.

What I do know is I used to feel a great release of stress when I lived in Batemans Bay and we would regularly walk on the beach in bare feet.

#15

That is interesting. I naturally prefer to walk back to my car bare foot when I have been swimming at the lake I go to in the summer. There is something about walking barefoot that feels good. I would say it is the same as contact with the air, sky and nature. It is great for lifting the mood.

Thanks for the update and great news that you are coping a bit better. I thought I had mentioned it before but I haven’t - check out this video. I found it really helpful. He is a great speaker too so an entertaining watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HDFEbsGRlA

(glen babicci) #16

So here is another update.
Still Mom is cooking anything she can find in the fridge, but I am not as stressed at the moment.
So the stress is only getting added, this week I will be made redundant from my current job which was a shock to the system. Have only made about 5-6 phone calls in the industry and have 3 possible jobs coming up but will be losing money. One good thing is 5 week payout so will have a few thousand extra for some bills.
Have hire a personal trainer, he is from the chek institute and is aiming to get me into Keto so happy to have some support.
Some good points since Jan 1 have gone from 119 kgs to 111.6 on imperfect Keto.

(Mark) #17
(Mark) #18
(glen babicci) #19

Update
left ankle pdf 220317.pdf (387.5 KB)
So last September had a bike accident, with sprained ankle, then infected knee followed by 3- 1 week stays in hospital with complications. Now after getting a new Physio discover have been walking on a fracture fibula for 6 months.
Got into see a good GP on Thursday now just need to wait and see what the Orthopod says on Tuesday.
Now wishing Gary Fettke was in Sydney.

#20

Yikes!!