Fallen off the wagon, trying to get back again

(Vallas Elgar) #1

Hey everyone!

I am sorry that my first post on this forum will be such negativity, but you have a very supportive and non-judgmental community here, maybe somebody’s gone through something similar or has some advice for me. And I am also sorry for my crappy English.

So the title speaks for itself, but I’ll describe the situation chronologically.

  • I have been on Keto since Oct 2018, felt great and happy, almost reached my goal weight in April, but stalled big time. I was not bothered by it too much because I was really-really close and those 1,5 kg would not have made much difference anyway.
  • Mid June the big heat came and there it started: namely BP drops or panic attacks, I don’t know what those were exactly (dizziness, weakness, and breathlessness, fear to pass out or suffocate) followed by carb binge attacks. Those were really serious; I just ate (cakes, ice-cream, chocolate…) and couldn’t stop even as my stomach was hurting.
  • I tried to get back on track after every binge (1 or 2 days of it), but couldn’t last more than 2 or 3 days. Last binge was this Tuesday.
  • Now some female stuff: at the beginning of July my PMS has started, just on time. But the period never came. It is almost the end of the month and it is just not here yet, so I am still PMS-ing, almost for a month now, you can imagine how it feels: physically and mentally.

I haven’t weighted myself, because I am afraid to do it at this point. But I have to put on my pre-Keto clothes, so almost everything I lost since – 17 kg – came back just in one month as it seems. I didn’t know it was even humanly possible.

Naturally I feel like shit and I look like shit now. I am on a day 3 of my recent try to get back on Keto and on my way back home from work I wanted to go to the store and buy a cake again to feel better somehow as this weight gain (I’ve seen my fat again reflection in the train and wanted to cry then and there) and the long pms are killing me mentally, everything seems pointless – the hormones whatever is wrong with them now, won’t let me lose weight anyway. I constantly feel tired, angry and depressed like hell.

I didn’t buy any carbage though, so I am safe at least for today.

I have an appointment with a gyn on the 05th of August, if the hormones will have to be checked I’ll get the results only in September. I don’t know what has happened, how it can be dealt with and how/if I’ll be able to hold on any longer.

(Failed) #2

I find that a teaspoon of inositol powder with an eighth of a teaspoon of choline bitartrate makes my carb cravings go away. It is an insulin sensitizer.It’s also used for PCOS, maybe that’s something going on with you?

Good luck to you. Don’t be so hard on yourself, our bodies are very complex mechanisms and they want what they need to function properly. If there’s an enzyme, amino acid, or nutrient missing, they get out of whack and there’s really nothing you can do about the cravings. It’s not a matter of willpower.

Years ago, when I tried to do low-carb and didn’t have enough of the right amino acids or enzymes in my body, the carb cravings got so bad that I just simply couldn’t function. If I’d seen a small child with a lollipop I would probably have knocked them down and stolen it.

(Susan) #3

Welcome to the forum, Vallas =).

I hope that you will be able to get some help/relief for the hormonal/period issues when you go and see your doctor.
I know it makes us feel horrible when we are in pain in that area of our bodies, and it has a lot of hormonal imbalances thrown in that can mess us up. I am happy to be past all that, as I stopped my periods December 2016, post menopausal now, I am 54. I can empathize with the pain and discomfort of it all though, for sure. I am sure that most women can.

Maybe if you were to make some Keto treats to help you have on hand for when the cravings are bad, this would help you? I used Fat Bombs for a while on my Keto journey. I hope that you can get back on track and be successful once again. Good luck =).

(Vallas Elgar) #4

Thank you for support and advice. I’ve ordered these supplements right away. I do need all the help I can get.

I don’t have PSOS, but I have fibroids, those cause only pain during periods, but nothing more in my case. But maybe those two can do some good in that area as well.

I take Glutamine at work for the cravings – because everyone in the office eats sweets and chocolate all the time – it does help, but obviously not enough.

Also I’ve bought Ashwagandha and rose-root-extract in case it is an adrenal gland/Cortisol issue. Those are just plant-based treatments and they’ll take time, but won’t hurt for sure.

(Vallas Elgar) #5

Thank you for your kind words!

For now I am kinda afraid to treat myself with sweets in case it triggers the cravings, even keto ones, though I’ve been making them since the beginning and hose were great, really tasty. Mascarpone with erythrit+stevia sweetener and rum flavoring has always been my favorite.

(Trish) #6

I too understand the struggle having recently fallen off the wagon for almost a whole year. I tried repeatedly to keto on but each time only lasted a day or two maybe three at the most and then the pastries were calling to me like Lorelei to a sailor and a jumped into the Boston cream donuts, etc.
I think what’s important is that you’re trying, you’re here on the forum, and you know already what you need to do. You’ve done this before so you know you can do this again. You’ve got this, sister! Take it one day at a time. If you feel yourself starting to give in to cravings, come on here to the forum and post something or just read. Or listen to a podcast or watch a video about the benefits of keto. I find that staying focused on the goal at hand really helps me. My family thinks I get obsessive, but watching Dr. Fung videos on you tube or reading this forum helps me to stay in the moment and on task. Maybe even a close friend could help you; someone you could call to ‘talk you down’ when you are at your weakest. Good luck and keep posting. We have your back. :+1:

(Vallas Elgar) #7

Thank you so much for your support and advice!
I do read this forum a lot now. I’ve already read this whole section btw, made me feel not so alone with my struggle. Though I wish the “fallen ones” would post some updates to let people know how the fair now. But this forum helps a lot indeed. Unlike some other communities, like the one on reddit for example.

(Vallas Elgar) #8

Hey!

I am back with an update.

On Saturday (day 4 of my actual try) either due to going into Ketosis (though I never felt this bust of energy and clearness of mind like other people did) or with help of Ashwagandha (supposedly it drops Cortisol and BS – if so a wonder plant indeed) I woke up in a very good mood and pretty much alert despite of PMS still holding on - I haven’t felt like this for a long time actually.

After work I went to supermarket and found myself standing in front of the cake shelf. I thought to myself that I could actually have the chocolate and cream one if I wanted, the hormones wouldn’t let me lose anyway. And with that I should pick up some dry red wine to maybe trigger the period this way. But I realized I didn’t really want that cake. Of course I knew it would taste beautifully, but I just don’t want it that much. So I turned away and left feeling surprisingly indifferent about that chocolate greatness. No way could it be possible last week. So this last try seems to be the most successful for some reason.

For the whole keto time before the Fall I was doing Keto+OMAD, but for now I don’t push the fasting and try to go slow and as stress-free as possible. But still I decided to do an egg fast to repair the binge damage a bit, this fast don’t require OMAD or 16/8 so it fits me perfectly for now – that is why I want to supermarket on Saturday, for eggs and cheese that is.

Also yesterday after doing some physical exercise by cleaning the apartment for two hours the period came an hour later. What a relief!

And so I’ve measured my hips (still being scared of scales): for me 1 cm in that area equals 1 kg on the scales, the result is - 92 cm. Before all of this madness they were 85 cm and I had 55,7 kg on the scales back then. So it is 7 kg weight gain in just a month. I’ll take measurements again next Sunday after the egg fast. Hopefully there will be some progress, fingers crossed.

(Susan) #9

That is great, Vallas =). Good job on resisting the cake, and nice to know that your body and tastes, cravings are changing, well done!

Your tips to lose weight even faster