Hi All,
After 3 months of fully keto (Under 15g) I have been cruising along on very low carb for over a year now, most the weight I lost early on, I’ve kept off, and my endurance for long distance exercise has been really good. Low carb has been a good compromise for me, as there hasn’t been a need for my wife to change how she shops or cooks. I just selectively eat the low carb bits of food, without worrying too much about a couple grams here and there.
However… I may have missed an opportunity by not encouraging change in shopping and cooking habits. I feel like I may come across as the bad guy here - at least that’s how my wife makes me feel… But here goes.
Four years ago, my wife was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. The doctor advised her to include a lot of complex carbohydrates in her diet, and go low fat. In the past 4 weeks, a few things happened that have upset me a bit:
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She received a letter from NSW Health, asking her to go back in for a follow up, to make sure she hasn’t worsened. She ignored it, saying that if she gotten worse, then they will just tell her to follow the advice previously given, which she already is.
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She gained enough weight to cross over from the “Overweight” to “Obesity Class 1” classification. But she’s written that off as “low-risk” (which I guess is technically correct)
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We went for a walk from the car park to a beach, which was about 300m, and a 10m elevation. She was fine on the way down, but needed to take a break on the way up from being puffed. She’s always said that she wanted to be fit enough to bring up two boys, and yet she can’t walk 300m without a break.
The thing is, I think she’s in denial. She admits that she’s a little overweight, but says it’s no big deal despite me showing her several government health sites (Australian and US), that even losing the few kilos she thinks she needs to lose would still put her in the higher end of overweight - but hey, getting out of “Obesity Class 1” is totally a win. This is about health, not about appearance…
Because she’s quite short, she still wears 12-14 Australian clothing, as long as it’s loose and shapeless, and she uses that as “proof”, that she’s average sized. Because of the high carb diet, most of the weight has been deposited around her midsection - the most unhealthy type, and if she needs something to fit there, she’s more like size 18-20.
She swims once a week, but it’s only for 20 minutes, but she says that makes her “active”. Her cardiologist advised her to exercise regularly, but to avoid anything longer than a marathon, because of a minor heart defect. She uses that as an excuse to not do anything longer. She also has a low blood pressure, which she believes to be a sign of health, when it’s actually one of the symptoms of her heart defect.
I am concerned about her. I love her, and want her around in good health to enjoy life together for a long time to come. I encouraged her to do keto, but too much “mainstream” advice has convinced her that it’s an unhealthy fad diet.
I’ve always believed that if you want someone to do something, you need to lead by example, but I’ve been low carb for 15 months now, exercised at the gym 3 times a week, and during the cooler months run/cycled to work. All my indicators are in the healthy range, and aside from commenting that my six pack looks good, it’s made no difference to her.
I don’t want to bully or pressure her into doing something (and she wouldn’t anyway, it would just damage our marriage), but I don’t want to see her decay into poor health either.
I’m at a loss guys. Is this just something I need to accept? The only person you can change is you, kind of thing? I know everyone is different, but if anyone has had success encouraging their loved ones to take up a healthier lifestyle - especially against mainstream out of date advice, I would appreciate it.
