Jamie, firstly, kudos to you for your determination to lose your extra weight before it gets out of hand. I encourage you to not give up on keto, and I say that as someone who has tried just about every other weight loss program and paid the price for my misguided efforts.
The good thing about this forum is that usually we can all agree to disagree on specific points. I say that because I am about to disagree with some ideas on this thread:
(1) I DO believe that it’s necessary to count calories as well as carbs, IF you have only 10 or 20 pounds to lose. If you are eating more calories than your body requires for energy–even if the source of those calories is fat–then you are not going to access the stored fat on your body for energy. You’ll still be in ketosis because you are creating ketones from dietary fat, not stored fat. For example, someone who starts keto with 100 pounds of extra body fat burns a lot more calories just in the activities of daily living than does a person with 20 pounds extra, and so the appetite suppressant effect of eating fat to satiety usually guarantees the heavier person will eat fewer calories that he or she burns–for such folk, calorie counting isn’t necessary–at least, not in the beginning. Not so for a petite woman.
I think calorie counting has bad implications for many of us because in the past we cut calories by replacing fat (which has 9 calories per gram) with carbs or protein (which have 4 calories per gram). That old Calories In, Calories Out model didn’t take into account the fact that carbs and protein stimulate insulin, and insulin is the hormone that causes our bodies to store energy in our fat cells. In other words, not all calories effect us in the same way, but still calories matter.
(2) I disagree with the notion that the keto test strips (used for urine tests as opposed to blood tests) are useless because they are inaccurate. They may be imprecise, but the question of whether they are inaccurate depends on what you are trying to measure. They are not great for measuring the amount of ketones you are producing, but they will tell you whether or not you are in ketosis. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all I need to know–if I’m in ketosis, and I’m not eating more calories than my body will burn in a day, then I know that I am using my stored fat for energy.
IMHO it’s a waste of money and effort to get hung up on measuring ketones with blood tests, for a couple of reasons. The test doesn’t distinguish between ketones from dietary fat and ketones from our stored fat. Furthermore, ketone levels will naturally fluctuate depending on a number of factors (the time of day, our activity level, etc.).
(3) If you find yourself getting “hangry” still, don’t fast (if fasting means going completely without food of any kind). In fact, I agree with the person here who questioned whether you are actually in ketosis if you are feeling hangry. That feeling is a result of the severe blood sugar spikes, followed by low blood sugar–something that doesn’t happen when you are burning ketones.
You can stay in ketosis 24/7 and work up to fasting by tracking your macros for a couple of weeks, keeping carbs to 20 grams or less and making sure that 75% of your calories come from fats. If you aren’t already using an app to do this, get one. There are several good ones that are free. A lot of us use My Fitness Pal–it’s not perfect, but it’s easy to use both on my phone and on the web. The web version allows me to enter my own recipes and it calculates the macros per serving.
Once you have maintained ketosis for a couple of weeks, you’ll be ready to practice what is often called “time restricted eating”–meaning you eat everything within a certain window of time–a.k.a Intermittent Fasting. Many begin by skipping breakfast, or pushing it back to 10 or 11 a.m. Instead of breakfast we begin the day with coffee or tea consumed with a tablespoon of heavy whipping cream (not half and half). Another big help when you first begin fasting is bone broth, which you can buy although homemade is soooo easy and better tasting.
Sorry this post is so long, and perhaps you already know some of this, but I get the impression that you, and some others on this thread, are in need of some of the basics. There is a wealth of information on the web and in books you can get free from a library, but much of it will not apply to you unless you are diabetic or you are an athlete or body builder. A good book to begin with is Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. I suggest you listen to the 2 keto dudes podcast, beginning with episode 1. The dudes are diabetic, but they are very good at breaking down information and they’re downright entertaining. Dietdoctor.com is also a reliable resource.
I hope all this helps in some small way.