Do you ever not eat when going out with friends or family?

(Samantha ) #1

Tomorrow my family is going out to celebrate my uncles birthday at a Japanese restaurant. I have been looking over the menu to see what I can eat and there is nothing that will not put me over my carb count. For reference I do not eat raw fish in any form…so sashimi is out. I am not wanting to kick myself out of ketosis and when calling the restaurant all their meat options are marinated in teriyaki or other sugar filled sauce. I am to the point where I would rather just eat at home before going and act like I am not hungry…but knowing my family they are going to push me to eat or get all huffy about me not eating and talk about how I am doing another “stupid” diet.

What do you say to friends and family when going out if they choose a place that does not fit your Keto lifestyle? I requested we go somewhere with options to my mom, but my uncle was insistent on the Japanese restaurant. I made the mistake of kicking myself out of ketosis last Friday at a family funeral and paid for it by feeling horrible all weekend and am not doing that to myself again.

(Brian) #2

Ouch! That’s hard.

I don’t think I’ve ever had to go to a restaurant where there was nothing I could eat. Granted, there were times where the pickin’s were slim. But there was always something I could at least nibble on.

Dang.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Hope you can figure out a way to still be sociable and not have to wreck your diet. It’s not kind of other people to put you in that position… but it can happen.

#3

I would do what you can to avoid putting yourself in this (^^^^) situation. Go if you must, but don’t let folks badger you about what you eat or don’t eat. First of all , it’s none of their $%^&^% business, and also it’s really demoralizing for you and puts you in a situation of having to defend what you put in your mouth.

Other folks will be on here with advice, but here’s what comes to mind for me:

don’t announce what you’re doing, and don’t feel that you have to defend it*;

have a late lunch (for real, or just say that) but you want to celebrate his birthday so you’ll have a bowl of soup and anything else small that you can eat there (but then don’t focus on that or let anyone else badger you about it!);

Or- can you not be feeling well (but actually stay home and do something lovely for yourself!) and come by at the end for tea?

*If you can stay relatively quiet about what you’re doing for now, it’s probably best for you. Keep your energy/focus on you, not on anyone else! Then in 6 months or a year, when your success is blindingly obvious and you’re looking amazing and radiant and healthy - and you’ve had practice and tweaks and ups and downs but have KCK’dO through all of it - folks will start asking what you’re doing, and you can share as you see best.

(Cece Blackstock) #4

I have found myself in a similar situation… here’s what I do: look at the menu for a really long time, and every time some asks you what you are getting, say “I’m not sure yet, it all looks so good!” Then keep looking, but with the menu laying on the table so that the waiter comes up, and takes everyone’s order. When the waiter gets you you, say something like “I’ll have a green tea for now, I’m still not sure” then sip on said tea till dinner is over!

Or tell everyone to mind their own P’s and Q’s because you are taking care of yourself, and don’t want to make yourself sick with the food at this restaurant!

Either way, good luck!

(Ethan) #5

I can tell that you may be coming down with something that will keep you from going.

You can also just tell them that you are on a diet and cannot eat anything there. If they have a problem with that, that’s their problem. It’s what I do now.

#6

:grin::mask:

(Allan L) #7

Don’t go. I wouldn’t. Request to change the venue to something I can eat at has been refused, so not going. Sorry.

(Sophie) #8

This is me. We have a group that goes out to lunch every Weds. It’s always a toss up where. There is one in the group that belongs to a church that has a buffet every day. The problem is that it’s always carby cafeteria crap, even down to the salad, which they serve swimming in sugary vignagerette. :nauseated_face: When they want to go there, I just tell them I’ll see them next week and go my merry way.

(Ethan) #9

I learned my lesson. Where I used to work, I traveled a lot. It was a very big, progressive company. If I had declared a T2DM as a disability, they would have accommodated my dietary restrictions perfectly. Instead, I ate a few carbs. Mind you, I didn’t eat more than 80-100g a day. In 21 months, I gained about 60 pounds and my A1c went from 5.8 to 6.6. I know better now. We have a chili cookoff at my current employer soon. We are a smaller startup company, so they can’t always accommodate with as much ease. However, I will be in a 7-day fast during the competition. They know I fast and eat keto. (Actually, 15% of the company is keto right now.) I won’t be pressured to eat anything. They did a great job at the company party last December. We had TONS of sashimi (no rice). There was meat without a sugary sauce. Plenty of veggies.

(What The Fast?!) #10

Options:
1 - Eat before and then tell your family “I was super hungry and totally forgot we were going out to eat so I ate just before dinner!”
2 - Order a salad - they HAVE to have one. Sneak in olive oil, pour over salad!
3 - Order something and push it around.
4 - Show up really late and say something came up.
5 - Tell them that your new diet has made you NOT hungry, it’s crazy!! Explain that you’re eating high fat which naturally curbs hunger - you would totally eat if you were hungry, but honestly you just can’t!
6 - combine options 3 and 5.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

(Samantha ) #11

Good options. thank you! I might just order something and push it around and give the left overs to someone in the family. I am horrible at any kind of white lie and refuse to show up late to events(serious pet peeve of mine). Their salad is seaweed salad or seafood salad…which is just not worth the 15 to 20 carbs in it per serving…depending on how it is made. So maybe I will just order the teriyaki chicken and barely eat any of it and be more forward the next time we get together as a family about where to go.

(Samantha ) #12

Work events are a whole other issue. I hate with caregiver engagement is all food based! Drives me nuts and I work for a healthcare company!!! At any work event I just don’t eat…even before going Keto because all they had is crap food: cookies, brownies, soda, carbs carbs carbs and processed meat! For some reason I am much better at being blunt with co-workers than family. I will gladly tell my boss that I am not eating because they only are providing unhealthy options and contributing to the rise in future healthcare costs.

(Ethan) #13

You can possibly ask for the teriyaki chicken, but with the sauce all on the side. Ask for some chopped lettuce (or the kind they usually give with the ginger dressing). Also request butter if they have it. Eat the chicken on the salad with butter or oil. Put some pepper on it.

(Jan) #14

Is it a “real” Japanese restaurant, or an Americanized one? I’ve been married to a Japanese man for nearly 40 yrs, so I’ve learned the food pretty well. Miso soup us always a good option. If it comes with noodles, just don’t eat them. You can usually get a decent green salad - use soy sauce & sesame oil as dressing. (Btw, good soy sauce is made via fermentation so no issues with wheat or soy). And if they have ramen, just get it without the noodles, and add hard boiled eggs, bamboo shoots, meat, etc. Miso-grilled fish is delicious, but some places do add Mirin or sugar, so best to scrape off most of the sauce - it doesn’t impact my bg if I do this. I prefer salt -grilled fish, especially salmon.
It all depends on whether it’s an authentic Japanese place, or caters more to non-Japanese clients. Good luck!

(Ethan) #15

Miso soup is often NOT a good option. If its REAL miso soup, it is ok. However, a lot of places will thicken it or put sugar in it–I have been kicked out of ketosis by Japanese restaurant miso soup before.

(Samantha ) #16

I might have to try this. I was also thinking of saying that my husband and I are going to share something and then just not eat much of it. Since he is Keto too and eats raw fish he can go with Sashimi and be fine.

#17

Here are some suggestions

(What The Fast?!) #18

Yes, this!!! And get the chicken with sauce on the side as someone else suggested.

(Jan) #19

@EZB, holy crap! I’ve never heard of misoshiru being thickened with anything! I guess I don’t go to those kind of restaurants. That’s what I mean about authentic Japanese food vs. non…
Yep, guess I’m an elitist in this regard. Don’t think my Osaka-born husband would ever tolerate this kind of thing, either.

(Ethan) #20

Definitely… I had it in a Japanese restaurant in a far-out suburban area. That probably had a lot to do with it. However, I just don’t trust restaurants with things I cannot verify anymore. My carb tolerance is also very low.