Hello Fellow Carnivores!
My deepest apologies for not introducing myself to you before I just jumped in and joined.
WARNING: LONG and DETAILED
My name is Mary and I am 46 yrs old. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I was an obese kid and by 8th grade I was over 200 pounds. By the end of high school I was over 300 and shortly thereafter I was over 400. I tried almost every diet and plan. I have been in 12 step programs and got dropped by many sponsors due to not being able to stick to a plan of eating they wanted me to do. I have paid hundreds if not thousands of dollars to try to lose weight and keep it off…I definitely went to some extreme measures when I was desperate enough. I never could stick to a plan for more than a few days before I would binge. I just didn’t get it.
I am a thriver and survivor of abuse of every kind that started when I was very young. I have been to weight loss centers, therapy and been prescribed some hard core drugs to help me.
I am a mother of two children. Both kids keep me on my knees praying daily. My daughter is BiPolar and now weighs almost 400 pounds. She is walking down some of the same dark streets that I did as a teen and young adult. Sadly, I do know I can’t push, pull, prod or dictate or control her and her choices. My son is a senior in high school and has autism and adhd. He is a genius and high functioning. At 6’4” and 290 pounds, his big emotions and inability to control himself made it necessary to put him in a group home supervised setting. That was the hardest choice I ever made. He is doing well and lives less than a mile from me. My husband and I spend a lot of time with him daily prior to his second COVID diagnosis.
My life took a huge turn for the better in 7/03. I was pregnant with my son and had been scheduled for a c-section. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. I was well over 423 pounds(the doctors stopped weighing me because I was getting so upset with the huge numbers that kept climbing. They did not have a big enough scale that went that high and they would help me on to the fright scale they weighed boxes on. How humiliating to have them adding weights to it to see how much I weighed! )My daughter weighed almost 13 pounds at birth and they figured he was gonna be a big one too. I was high risk with both and put in bed rest with both too.
The day that I delivered my son, the doctors did not know where to cut nor how deep to cut. Unfortunately, they cut through the placenta and they did not have enough hands in the room to pull me open and pull him out. My husband saw our blue baby boy come out. I lost consciousness.
My husband almost lost both of us that day. They would not let me see my baby and provided me with 2 Polaroid pictures of him hooked up to a ventilator and told me that they were certain he was not going to make it through the night due to his blood loss and deprivation of oxygen. He had 3 blood transfusions and two platelets that night.
I am so grateful and blessed the doctors were wrong. Two days later, I got to hold my sweet baby for the first time. They said I was too big to fit into the tight NICU with the wheel chair. They brought him to me. My apologies to anyone with a sensitive stomach. My son took himself off the ventilator and was out of the NICU within 9 days and came home. He was almost 12 pounds and they said that is why he was able to beat the odds.
I blamed myself and my weight for all that happened with my son. I looked into having weight loss surgery and was almost sold on the idea until my girlfriend had it done and they nicked her colon and almost died. Back then, Dr Atkins was in the news. I was led to look into his diet as the last resort before needing to have surgery which I would have never been able to do as I couldn’t lose the weight needed.
I only ate eggs, meat, cheese and fat with very little amounts of cucumber or zucchini. The phenomenon of no more cravings and no more binges on bags and boxes of junk happened for me. It was a true miracle. I had no idea if it was working as I did not have a tape measure long enough nor a scale that went that high. I promised myself that I would give it 3 months before I would even try to step on my scale that went up to 400.
2 yrs later, I lost 265 pounds and was down to a healthy weight of 150. I had not been that weight since 5th grade! I eventually added back more vegetables and found that I was often in major GI distress. Then I started adding Atkins bars and low carb stuff in place of some of my favorite binge foods. Someone said to me, “well if you are gonna eat that stuff, you might as well eat the real stuff! “
I did just that after 6 yrs clean on Atkins. I was totally out of control. I was a little kid in a candy store…I could not get enough. I gained weight back so fast it was scary and definitely it funny. I went from 150 to 356 in a year. I went back to Atkins and lost it again. I gave myself permission to have “just one” again and went back up to 325. Then I got so depressed and went for help. It was not until I consciously chose to go back to the basics that I was able to lose that weight again. I found that I needed to be a part of a community that walked the walk. I found this forum! The diabetes and high blood pressure never returned since 2004.
I have had MS since 2014 and was given a miracle of healing that doctors can’t explain in 2019. I had been put on palliative care after Cleveland Clinic tried all they had. I am off disability and back to work. I got Hashimotos from the last drug they used for the MS which destroyed my thyroid. That diagnosis came last year. The PCOS and IBS-C have not shown their ugly faces in years! I just got blood test results back for the Rheumatoid arthritis and it does not appear that I have RA. I will not know for sure until March when I see a rheumatologist. It was suspected when an X-ray of my foot was abnormal. Foot doctor said he didn’t see RA either. Just bunions!
I do apologize for being VERY long winded. I don’t know how to put all this in fewer sentences.
So, as I have read all the posts on here, I figured it was safe to share about my journey with you. It is not like I haven’t gotten to know each of you by your heartfelt and honest posts. Haha!