food yesterday was
12 oz ribeye steak
1 chicken breast
8 slices bacon with little grated cheddar melted
(all eaten for 1 meal and yea, I did that very easily)
I damn near went on a rampage thru the kitchen later in the evening.
I did not eat enough food for the day point blank. But I also ‘wasn’t that hungry’ enough to cook more meat etc. but family was gnawing on crap and I was like…a few chips from my kid, a bite of hubby’s chocolate cake he was eating and I was ready to just attack the kitchen after those few bites of junk! I hit every cabinet, into the big pantry I went and nothing drew me in thank goodness. I couldn’t justify eating any more than the crap I did eat from snatching it from them LOL but I came close to eating it all for the sake of just eating crap. I talked myself out of the kitchen finally before I did a lot of damage.
I did snatch a diet pepsi from my kid’s stash out of the fridge as I stomped out of the kitchen just pizzed to the max about it all. I drank a few sips and ick, chemical taste, not good truly and my mood ‘deflated’ real fast. I was at a 10 on the richter scales of going batty but after that soda taste I deflated instantly down to a 1 and said NOPE you ain’t going here, you aren’t doing this BS and step away from the insanity. I did just that.
I had a lot of stress crap that day and I think that was my trigger…even tho I got that stress crap handled finally and all in a very fine place after so that was good, but it put me on a high alert kinda. Like I didn’t know what to do with that anxiety I had pent up for the day.
So since I think I know that feeling, I will find another outlet. Like get out an exercise video tape and just move. Walk the dog and move. Get out my bike and ride a bit to move! So I got thru the BS of it all without going too crazy and am perfectly ok in my mind about my zero carb eating plan and more.
once the crazy leaves the body I feel great again…lol…just chatting out what goes down for me sometimes. Years on plan keeps me more controlled now, old days I would do the binge day and walk of shame and guilt and have to detox again and again from backsliding, now I find I don’t go that far ever and can get out of sticky situations when they flare.
onto a new day