Asking for help is not my thing... But I need it now

(Alec) #21

Thanks for letting us see a glimpse of your world. You have found a place that has love and support to spare. The regulars here are quite honestly simply brilliant. Thank you for letting them in.

I think you may have nailed it with the title of this thread and the statement above. You are an emotional binge eater?

@MommyJill2005 gave some good advice above to consider.

Also a similar thread with lots of good thinking is below. Worth a read?

The food you are eating is all great keto food as your a1c suggests. So the problem is not what, it is how much.

When you overeat do you feel like you are pushing past satiety at the time? If you do, then I think this is mental/emotional hunger pure and simple and getting some counsellor help may well be the best bet.

If you don’t consciously feel like you are pushing past satiety at the time, then it could simply be your hunger/satiety hormones are just totally fried. Totally against my advice above (:see_no_evil:), I have often managed to reset my hunger hormones by doing a 36 hr fast. Have you ever tried one of these? Could you maybe try one and see how you feel? Could you pick a day when you felt ok with low stress and see if you could do it. You get that wonderful empty stomach feeling, and I am wondering if you are somehow mentally frightened of hunger.

I might be off the mark with some of this, so pls consider it just ideas to review.

Please stick with the keto. And I hope you can feel the warmth we have here coming through the words on the page. It is for you.

[edit] one other thought. As you said, you are eating a lot of dairy. There are lots of folks who swear they can’t cope with dairy, and as soon as they removed it, things went well. Worth a try for a couple of weeks?

(Ken) #22

IMO, you are doing two things wrong. First, you’re not eating enough fat. Second, you’re massively overeating. It’s tough for me to believe you’re actually hungry by each meal, you’re eating out of habit or for emotional reasons, either of which can cause you to be unsuccessful . You should try an 24-48 hour Fast, and OMAD after that.


I don’t have any advice, but I just wanted to give you a huge cyber hug and tell you it’s gonna be ok. Hang in there, one day at a time, one hour at a time if needed, and lean on the folks here when you need to. Sending positive thoughts your way!


I think people tend to find their own set points about what is sufficient protein and what is “enough.” I think you found yours. Don’t beat yourself up about it–you’ve learned something valuable and this is good.

Impulse control is an ADHD problem. Again, don’t beat yourself up about it. It a neurological disfunction that all the talk therapy in the world won’t fix. But since you have a doctor’s appointment already set, I’d add this to the list of things to discuss! You can get help for this.

Try this trick: Make enough for two meals. Get out a Tupperware container and put half in the container for lunch tomorrow, before you even dish up anything on to your plate for your dinner.

Honestly, though, I agree with some of the above comments that given your size, age, and gender, eating 3000 calories a day doesn’t seen totally unreasonable. So you may be eating, because you need to. Especially for a while to reset your metabolism from the 1600 calorie deprivation. Geez, I’m a woman over 50 and 5’9" and even I could lose weight eating 1600 calories/day!

(Jill F.) #25

I agree about the left overs idea. I do this even at restaurants I ask for a to go container when I get my food and only eat 1/2 to 1/3 of my meal and save rest for lunch next day. Even if its keto. Also at home as soon as i cook dinner i make a plate and put rest in Tupperware containers and put in fridge. Out of sight and out of mind helps.
I think the hard thing about anxiety is it is not “visible”. My hubby asks me why i am so obsessed with the My 600 pound life show. I tell him it is the Psychology behind it, what is wrong that has caused this impulse control and this need to grossly overeat in the first place. There is ALWAYS an emotional need that people are literally trying to fill with food.

We have to eat to survive, it is not an option. Drugs, cigs, alcohol, all optional but not food. So it is easy to excuse why we eat what we eat and not think much about it.

Remember keto or no keto, our body is a machine. A famous quote by Franklin is Garbage in, garbage out. It is true with us as well. Do we expect our car to run correctly if we put diesel fuel in a non diesel car? Nope, or try to travel with no gas. That is ridiculous to even think about but we do it constantly with our bodies then expect them to perform like a race car that has been well maintained. Just not realistic. If we overeat, even the good keto stuff, our body goes from converting fat to fuel and starts storing it for just in case. This science helps me to understand why I eat, what I eat, and ask myself each time I eat is this hunger, cravings, boredom, stress, do I really need this fuel for my body or not? I hope that can help others in how they decide when and what to eat. It has been a game changer for me!!!


Hi Chris, we are all different but I’ll mention a few things ive learned about myself in case anything is useful. When i first started 3 months ago i had a hard time with the idea of satiety because i had been emotionally eating for years and had to learn to distinguish between actual hunger and i just feel like eating because im anxious. Using the carb manager app a couple times a week helped me there. Also i had to cut out dairy, nuts and artificial sweeteners for a while because they were increasing my cravings. Now after 3 months i can have a little stevia and creamer without cravings. I also seem to really need to eat a good serving of vegetables at each meal and not overdo the meat otherwise the scale doesnt move. I have to work to eat really nutrient dense food because fatigue is a big issue for me. I also use magnesium oil at night which helps me sleep a lot better. And sleep lowers stress which helps weight loss. Ive had to do a lot of tweaking and learning what makes me feel the best and im still learning. I would experiment with little changes and see what works for you. some people can do carnivore or dirty keto but not me. And when you find what works be patient as your body heals. I once read that it takes the body 1 month to heal for every year youve been unhealthy. Not sure if thats true but it helps me be more patient and give my body time. Good luck with your journey. Kcko.

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #27

Hey, just wanted to chime in with support. Glad you’re here!

I also think 3000 calories may be appropriate for a man of your size. Not medical advice, just something I think you should think about. I’m a 5’4 woman and lost weight on more than 1600/day much of the time.

Not everyone’s keto looks the same. It takes some tweaking to get it right for you, and even then you have to change it up occasionally. Just don’t forget how far you’ve come, and that sometimes your body priorities internal healing above weight loss.

(PSackmann) #28

My best weeks are when I can spend time on the weekend prepping the whole week’s food ahead of time. It ends up taking only a couple of hours, and very well worth it

(Boston_guy) #29

I’d recommend tracking micronutrients as they’re very satiating. I’ve begun doing this to get off of T3 medications. If you can’t stop eating, can be your body telling you it’s missing something. Like the protein-leverage hypothesis but for other micros.

Liver and onions is jam-packed with micronutrients, and super-satiating.

Think Cronometer ( has a free plan with ads. 15% of calories from protein would be the bare minimum - check out Marty Kendall’s work on satiety.


Perhaps you would crave specific foods from lack of micronutrients, but general overeating? Makes me doubtful. There are plenty of people out there who don’t have an overeating issue, maybe look ok on the outside, but have deficiencies of some kind.

I do like Cronometer to see what your status is and maybe point to something you didn’t previously consider. But… all these tracking programs are based on USDA guidelines for food content and RDA of a “typical” healthy person. How much you really need and get in your diet has a huge margin for error. A lot of things aren’t even consistently present in the data, like potassium and iodine. Different people have different requirements based on genetics - MTHFR being one example for B6 and B12 or glycine. Some very important nutrients, like D3 or K2 for example, can’t really be evaluated for adequacy out of the context of the individual.

A better test of nutritional status would involve some lab testing to see what your’e deficiencies are, then figuring out the best way to solve it with nutrition or sometimes supplements. I’m not a shill for Chris Masterjohn, but I believe he has thoroughly covered some of the most likely deficiencies out there. You might want to check out his podcast Mastering Nutrition.

(Boston_guy) #31

True, maybe the RDA is off and there are individual factors. Still, it’s easy to miss nutrients if you’re only looking at macros. For me it was K, Folate, Copper. Those aren’t in HWC or ribeye :slight_smile:
Better to have a well-rounded micronutrient status IMO

(Bacon by any other name would taste just as great.) #32

Dr. Phinney suggests that when people are feeling stuck, the first thing to do is to cut carbohydrate intake.

If you are eating anything that comes with a nutrition label, take a good hard look at the label, both the nutrition panel, and the list of ingredients. In the U.S., manufacturers are allowed to pick a “serving size” that lets them state the sugar content as 0 g/serving if it’s under 0.5 g. So if you see any form of sugar in the list of ingredients, then assume 0.499999999 g of sugar/serving, and then calculate how many servings you are actually eating. It might even pay to eliminate processed foods altogether, at least temporarily. You might even consider going completely zero-carb/carnivore, at least for a while, in case you are so insulin-resistant that you have a high insulin reaction to any plant-based food.

The second suggestion from Dr. Phinney is to increase fat. This is not because fat is magical, but simply because it is a source of calories with a minimal effect on insulin secretion. Be sure to get enough protein, as well, preferably in the range of 1.0-2.0 g/kg of lean body mass a day. (Most proteinaceous foods contain about 7 grams of protein per ounce, so if you want 120 g of protein, you need 480 g, or about 17 ounces, of steak.) People seem to vary as to whether they find protein or fat more satisfying, so you may need to juggle the relative proportions of fat and protein. But the key to it all is very low carbohydrate intake, because only then can you trust your hunger and satiety hormones as a guide to how much to eat.

(Scott) #33

Not sure about this but I think Dr, Ken D Berry was saying the the typical rounding math that you and I use does not apply to nutritional labels. So by their logic a .9g can be labeled as 0g. I do hope I am wrong about this.

(Amanda) #34

Have you tried packing the lunch before you serve your plate? I find this helpful.

(Jeff Gilbertson) #35

Fixed it for you …



I think they have to say this is <1g, whereas in Paul’s example where it is really “under .5g” they are allowed to say it is zero.


Hi Chris,
LONG post ahead.
I am an older woman with many inflammatory issues and a long history of being overweight and obese, sleep apnea, hypertension, PCOS, Metabolic Syndrome, etc.
I say this only to tell you that I understand some of what you are experiencing and maybe to offer hope and a solution.
First of all, kudos for reaching out. There’s nothing heroic about trying to do this life all by your lonesome. Lots of people on the planet who have other perspectives that may help. So, try to build into your being the idea that reaching out to others can be a good thing.
Anyway, my thoughts are these. Keto is a good eating plan however when you have multiple health issues, it sometimes takes others approaches to be as successful long term as you deserve. That includes professionals to help you sort and think through possible solutions that will work for you.
I would start by looking into Jason Fung and his information on Fasting. He is a Nephrologist in Canada. He has a pretty good website where he offers great information about fasting. He treats lots of patients with obesity and diabetes. He suggests keto, but more importantly, is his perspective on Fasting as a tool and a way of eating to reduce insulin. His website is:
He has 2 books on Amazon The Obesity Code and The Diabetes Code - both offer info on the hormonal theory of obesity and diabetes and a real way for curing it, yes curing it.
That’s where I would start.
Also, if you can find a good naturopath to work with or if your own doctor is open to learning more, maybe she can help you manage your diabetic and other meds should you choose to follow this sort of lifestyle. I was shocked at how easy it is to incorporate fasting into my life and others seem to have similar experiences. There is also a good closed FB group for those who want to learn more and have the benefit of peer support.
Don’t worry about your calories for now, that is not the thing keeping you from losing weight. More important than what you eat, is when you eat and whether or not your body has enough time to start burning off your own fat versus the food you give it. So, please check this guy out. He is the real deal. His team also offers private consulting, though they won’t give medical advice. They do also have a link on their site to a Physicians Network for practitioners elsewhere who are tuned into keto and fasting. So, there may be someone in your area. I hope this is helpful and you find what works for you.
One final thing, may or may not be something to explore. I found myself to be sensitive to lots of foods I ate for years- eggs, dairy, gluten (not doing it on keto anway), certain nuts, coconut, nightshades like peppers, tomatoes, zucchini, potatoes, etc. and other things too numerous to mention. At first I was quite upset by this development because it felt like I had nothing left to eat. I decided to detox from these items to see how I felt. I was surprised that within 2 days, I could actually get out of bed in the morning without muscle pain and stiffness. My back and legs were more supple and flexible. It was enough of a shift to make me continue and I continue to feel good without most of these foods. I reintroduced eggs on a limited basis and I discovered sheep and goat cheeses that I love. I use “Milkadamia” brand nut milk when I want something in a smoothie and I use Goat Ghee and Goat Cream Flakes in my coffee- all available online.
There are tests to identify foods you might be sensitive to and need to detox from. Usually they can be introduced gradually one at a time and then pay attention to how your body reacts. stuffy head, increased mucous, pain, stiffness, brain fog, etc. There are also herbs and supplements to help with detoxing and supporting you in the process. That’s why I suggest looking for a good Naturopath in your area.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. So plan for it and try to stay encouraged. You’ve done so much to get yourself on track, don’t give in now. Take it one day at a time and use your preferred support groups to get you through the rough spots.
Good luck!

(Daisy) #38

I have absolutely no advice, as I’m in the same boat with binge eating, anxiety and gaining weight. Just here to give you a big hug and read everyone’s advice to see if anything might help me too lol


Something that helped me with sugar and carb addiction, admittedly not binge eating was a book called Diet Cure. Now reissued as The Cravings Cure. Lots of helpful strategies on supplements and herbs that help remove cravings, which are chemical signals your body give cause it needs something. Made a huge difference for me before I ever heard of keto.

(Daisy) #40

I’ve licked the sugar addiction and really the carb addiction too. I rarely do sweeteners, as they are massive triggers for me. Also nut butters and cheese. But like once every couple weeks, I lose all ability to care about all the hard work I’ve done. I will go and make nut butter, fat bombs, etc and binge eat it. It’s very frustrating!