LONG post ahead.
I am an older woman with many inflammatory issues and a long history of being overweight and obese, sleep apnea, hypertension, PCOS, Metabolic Syndrome, etc.
I say this only to tell you that I understand some of what you are experiencing and maybe to offer hope and a solution.
First of all, kudos for reaching out. There’s nothing heroic about trying to do this life all by your lonesome. Lots of people on the planet who have other perspectives that may help. So, try to build into your being the idea that reaching out to others can be a good thing.
Anyway, my thoughts are these. Keto is a good eating plan however when you have multiple health issues, it sometimes takes others approaches to be as successful long term as you deserve. That includes professionals to help you sort and think through possible solutions that will work for you.
I would start by looking into Jason Fung and his information on Fasting. He is a Nephrologist in Canada. He has a pretty good website where he offers great information about fasting. He treats lots of patients with obesity and diabetes. He suggests keto, but more importantly, is his perspective on Fasting as a tool and a way of eating to reduce insulin. His website is: https://idmprogram.com
He has 2 books on Amazon The Obesity Code and The Diabetes Code - both offer info on the hormonal theory of obesity and diabetes and a real way for curing it, yes curing it.
That’s where I would start.
Also, if you can find a good naturopath to work with or if your own doctor is open to learning more, maybe she can help you manage your diabetic and other meds should you choose to follow this sort of lifestyle. I was shocked at how easy it is to incorporate fasting into my life and others seem to have similar experiences. There is also a good closed FB group for those who want to learn more and have the benefit of peer support.
Don’t worry about your calories for now, that is not the thing keeping you from losing weight. More important than what you eat, is when you eat and whether or not your body has enough time to start burning off your own fat versus the food you give it. So, please check this guy out. He is the real deal. His team also offers private consulting, though they won’t give medical advice. They do also have a link on their site to a Physicians Network for practitioners elsewhere who are tuned into keto and fasting. So, there may be someone in your area. I hope this is helpful and you find what works for you.
One final thing, may or may not be something to explore. I found myself to be sensitive to lots of foods I ate for years- eggs, dairy, gluten (not doing it on keto anway), certain nuts, coconut, nightshades like peppers, tomatoes, zucchini, potatoes, etc. and other things too numerous to mention. At first I was quite upset by this development because it felt like I had nothing left to eat. I decided to detox from these items to see how I felt. I was surprised that within 2 days, I could actually get out of bed in the morning without muscle pain and stiffness. My back and legs were more supple and flexible. It was enough of a shift to make me continue and I continue to feel good without most of these foods. I reintroduced eggs on a limited basis and I discovered sheep and goat cheeses that I love. I use “Milkadamia” brand nut milk when I want something in a smoothie and I use Goat Ghee and Goat Cream Flakes in my coffee- all available online.
There are tests to identify foods you might be sensitive to and need to detox from. Usually they can be introduced gradually one at a time and then pay attention to how your body reacts. stuffy head, increased mucous, pain, stiffness, brain fog, etc. There are also herbs and supplements to help with detoxing and supporting you in the process. That’s why I suggest looking for a good Naturopath in your area.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. So plan for it and try to stay encouraged. You’ve done so much to get yourself on track, don’t give in now. Take it one day at a time and use your preferred support groups to get you through the rough spots.