Hi All! Husband and I are on day 21 of eating Keto. He has done great so far-with a loss of over 15lbs. I have lost a whopping 5lbs, 2-3 of which I keep putting on and taking off. I drink bulletproof coffee, have protein, veg and some fat for lunch. Pork rinds and small bit of sour cream as late day snack. Dinner is a repeat of lunch. No more eating for the day after dinner. D running 80-100 ounces of water each day. I’m consuming no grains or sugars. I’m 38 and perimenopausal. I have 40 more lbs left to lose. Haven’t had much time for workouts- maybe 3 total in 3 weeks. Have been exhausted-going to bed by 8:30 several nights of the last week. Hubby has been tired, too. But, he has been waking up 1-2 hours early. Any words of wisdom before I decide to just throw in the towel?
3 Weeks In, Not Too Impressed, Ready to Give Up
It took me 6 weeks to even get fat adapted which is when the Keto magic happens. I recommend you keep at it at least two months.
Welcome to Keto and sorry that it’s not working out as well for you as it is for your husband.
Unfortunately, that is very much par for the course. If you set up a #metoo for slow weight loss, you’d have a lot of joiners on these boards alone.
I know it’s trite but KCKO is appropriate. You are likely not fat adapted yet, not efficiently using ketones etc. so few of the NSVs are accruing either. You are getting through the tough early stages but when you body adapts, you should feel so much better than before. It is worth pushing on to achieve that.
As for assessing your plans so far, we might need a bit more information on the diet side and a woman’s perspective and experience would serve you better.
However, standard advice is…
- Do not undereat - it is important to eat to your TDEE until you fat adapt (several weeks) when your appetite should be managing itself. Eat more fat if in doubt… (fattier meat, cheese nuts, avocado, whipped cream with berries, etc.)
- Don’t worry about exercise. Do what you do or don’t do any, it isn’t relevant to your journey in the short term. When you get your energy back, slip back in to it or change up to something new.
- Sort out your electrolytes - more salt, magnesium and potassium - search for threads on this. It is a typical cause of tiredness etc. in early stages.
I stalled for 4 weeks after the initial week’s loss so not all men lose fast and consistently but it has worked out since then, averaging almost 10lbs a month for 5 months.
KCKO - it is about metabolic health, not weight loss per se. You may well be fixing all kinds of internal issues before you start turning adipose cells into ketones and losing weight.
Good advice although possibly skip the berries and nuts except as a very occassional treat. I find it stalls me and keeps me out of ketosis
Yeah, nuts, dairy, berries etc. are all n=1 items but fortunately safe for the majority of folks apparently. The OP could either go exclusion first (minimal diet and add things in over time) or eat whatever makes you happy (within the keto boundaries) to get adapted and tweak things later to improve levels of ketosis etc. Personally I am not so bothered about measured ketosis but many are (and maybe that’s why they do better than me 
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@Saphire’s suggestion is more effective and data driven but also restrictive and IMHO, early on, you should do whatever you have to, to sustain long enough to get adapted etc. but whatever you can cope with is good.
I must be patient, lol. Feel like hubby’s leaving me in the dust. You can see by looking at him that he has lost weight lost weight and he’s gone down a pants size.
I can only imagine how hard that is. I get a bit of it looking at others who lose faster than me but all I know is that I feel better, have broken weight plateaus I haven’t seen in 15 years and find it the most sustainable diet/WoE I have ever done.
I know I can do this for life… I’ve never said that about anything else I’ve ever tried.
How much protein, how much fat, how much veg? The “some” kind of freaked me out there… this really is a way of eating where you need a LOT of fat. Are you experiencing any other symptoms of being in ketosis? I would guess that without knowing, you might be floating outside of ketosis, which means that your body is exhausted and hanging on to those pounds you keep flirting with- it wants energy, and you may not be feeding it with either carbs OR enough fat right now, which would make you tired.
Salt/sodium intake?
Also, kudos to you for doing this with your husband! In my experience, women OFTEN lose slower (especially with those pesky hormonal issues) and it can be so discouraging in comparison.
Hang in there, friend!
I agree with @LizinLowell, 6 weeks is a minimum. I am posting this picture of me. I am actually 5 pounds lighter today than my “better” picture taken around February 10th.
Please stick with it, you will find the best kind of people on the Ketogenic Forums to help you! They helped me!!!
The main questions I have is what are your net carbs at daily? Are you limiting calories and fat?
Most people stay in ketosis at 20g of net carbs. Keto isn’t a calorie or fat limiting lifestyle.
^^^ THIS (what @ssablich said.) Plus, you’ll need to drop the snack. Here’s the simplest way to understand keto and what’s most likely happening in your system, at least at the early/beginning stages:
- Keto is about your hormones, regulating and healing them, and learning how what you eat affects them.
- EVERY thing you eat creates a response (spike) in insulin. This spike is normal and natural. However, if you spike your insulin too often during the day (i.e. snacking) or keep it too high because of what you are eating (i.e. carbs or too much protein) or because it is naturally too high due to T2D, then it will always be in “fat storage” mode, which for you will mean a stall in losing or even weight gain.
- It can take a few MONTHS to get fully into fat-adapted mode. At the beginning, don’t worry so much about how much fat you are eating. Don’t fear fat. Your body LOVES to burn fat! So if that means you pour an extra tablespoon or two (or four) of olive oil or melted butter on top of your plate at mealtimes, then that’s what you do. If you are getting hungry between meals then:
a) you are not eating enough protein at each meal. Do you know your macros?
b) you are not eating enough fat at each meal.
c) you are eating too many carbs at each meal.
d) any two or all of the above.
So here’s the simplest (and I think best) way to start off:
- Commit to two months. Eight weeks.
- Figure out your macros. Don’t exceed 20g of carbs per day (some follow total carbs, some use net carbs. Pick one and commit to that for the eight week period.)
- Don’t exceed your protein macro for the day.
- Don’t eat too much protein at one time. For example, if your protein macro is 50g for the day, have 15g at breakfast, 15g at lunch, and 20g at dinner. Don’t “save up” protein or skip meals in order to be able to have “more” at one meal. Eating more protein at one meal than your body can handle is problematic.
- Eat as much good fats (olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, butter, ghee, etc) as you need at meals so that you don’t get hungry between meals. If you find yourself getting hungry between meals, then add more fat to each meal.
- Eat three meals a day. Later on you can tweak this to two or one meal a day if you need to, but start with the basics and stick to three meals at first.
- Get enough electrolytes. Search in the forum for suggested amounts.
- Weigh at the beginning of the eight weeks. Do not weigh again until the eight weeks are over.
- Take your measurements at the beginning of the eight weeks and again once each week throughout the eight weeks.
- Never give up, never surrender. (That’s a quote from a good movie. Galaxy Quest.) Also, ask for help if you need it and ask if you have any questions. You can find most answers by searching the forums, but I promise you we have all been there, and we want to help you.
BONUS TIP: Don’t compare yourself or your progress or results to anyone else or to any other program or diet you have ever been on. THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT. You are not “dieting” here. You are healing your body and giving it what it needs to heal years or perhaps decades of damage and derangement. Your body knows what to do. And it has its own schedule it will follow. If you follow all these basic steps, it will work.
You’ll see. 
You can do this!
Just remember to Be patient and remember to not pay attention to everyone else’s progress so that you can focus on yours. Also remember that keto is about healing the body FIRST and that weight loss although important is a secondary substrate. Lastly, remember that you didn’t get this way in a short time so don’t expect to be where you want to be in a short time. Look for the NSV’s both large and small instead of focusing on the scale. If you fall off get back up and check in often as you need to for encouragement or to simply let us know how you are doing. We are your keto family and we are so proud of you for taking this step to heal your body and take control of your life. You won’t regret this so sit back and enjoy this ride. I’m just glad that I get to sit in he car with you as we Journey on this road together young lady!!! YOU GOT THIS!!!
We (my husband and I) have been keto for just over 6 months. At the start he lost more and quicker than I did. What was even more annoying was that he was less diligent than I was - he drank wine and had more carbs (whole milk) in general. I was frustrated at not being rewarded for my diligence (counting and recording) by more weight loss. The more I read the more I relaxed and accepted a long term view that the fat would slowly go and I would over a longer time reap the benefit of many non-scale victories/outcomes. Often those NSV’s are ones we will possibly never know about or can only guess. I did eventually overtake my husbands weight loss and today am down 15+kg. Here are some of my other NSVs - increased fitness (just purely from walking/hill climbing), smoother skin (haven’t used any face cream for weeks now), my plantar fasciitis has gone, I am not driven by a desire for carb laden food (cakes, ice cream, potato crisps/chips, bread…) even the smell doesn’t tempt me, I can exercise (2 hour walk uphill - 20° incline) in a fasted state. I should add that I’m closer to 56 than 55, 5’2", I’m post menopause and was 104kg at my worst (now about 80kg). My mother was taken by pancreatic cancer 3.5 years ago when she was 72 so ever day I spend in ketosisis is a day that may help me live a better and healthier life.
similar boat to you and also 3 weeks in, some advice given to me yesterday was to make sure each meal has a macro balance, so rather than just checking the percentages at the end of the day, make sure each meal has mostly fat, then protein then carbs. I need to get kitchen scales too, hard to be accurate without them.
Also keep in mind you may have other things that your body is working on that your husband doesn’t. Hormones balancing, sleep, inflammation, skin improving etc.
Feel free to message me to check in, vent or celebrate.
Men almost always lose weight faster.
It’s very common here to see see women frustrated that the man in their life is losing weight so much faster. Keep in mind that women’s bodies have a lot more going on hormonally and such.
This was dinner last night. Chicken breast (not a fan of dark meat poultry). Broccoli and zucchini, sautéed in bacon fat and butter, with cheddar cheese and bacon.
Wow-found an electrolyte tablet that is added to water. It has already been making a huge difference! Thank you for all your input.
