Okay, I can’t give you any reliable medical or scientific insight, and our experiences are by no means identical, but I can personally relate to this so much, it’s kind of scary. I also struggle with depression, anxiety, and a variety of manifestations of chronic pain. I also was in a really tough place in my life, also moved in with my mother for a period of time after a breakup, also abused marijuana daily for many years. It’s hard, and a miserable place to be in. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of that.
While a lot of things have contributed to improvements in my life (a good therapist, the right mix of medication–and I know meds aren’t for everyone, but for me they have been beneficial-- and yoga and meditation), keto has contributed tremendously to my overall wellness–mentally, emotionally and physically. I started keto after being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and gaining back the 20 pounds I’d previously lost on Weight Watchers. At first it was purely as a means of losing weight and dealing with the diabetes. I didn’t think it would help with anything else, but at this point it’s undeniable. My mind is clearer, my memory is better, I’m way more productive at work, my chronic pain is less severe, my anxiety calmer, my depression more manageable. I’ve only been on keto for a few months, but the change really has been remarkable. I moved out of my mom’s house and got a great apartment in a great neighborhood, I’m socializing again, I re-committed to a spiritual practice that is important to me, I’m able to get my butt to a couple exercise classes a week, and I’m planning for the future in a way I just couldn’t when I was weighed down by so much physical, mental and emotional pain. Don’t get me wrong–my problems are not magically gone. But they are manageable in a way they haven’t been for a long time, which is huge.
It’s gonna suck at first, so be prepared for that. Read up on keto flu and do the best you can to mitigate it. I was tired and cranky and got woken up almost nightly by leg cramps when I first started, but I am SO glad I stuck with it, because once I got through it I started to feel really good, and at this point I’ve never felt better. Also, it can be intimidating. Keto is very science-y, and a lot of folks who are really into it are super type A and into stuff like bodybuilding and Crossfit. I’m a right-brained creative type who is just looking to improve my health, not get rock-hard abs or win a triathalon, but I’ve learned to take in what’s helpful from all the information out there and set aside that which doesn’t fit for me (I do a fat fast every morning until lunch time, but a true fast is not on the table for me right now. And I don’t track my macros–the tedium and anxiety around tracking food is what has made me quit every diet I’ve ever been on in the past). Watch videos, visit blogs, listen to podcasts, take it all in, and try not to be in a hurry. Keto is something you really have to commit to, and the pace at which you make changes is far less important than consistently making them. Posting here is a fantastic start–I just found this forum, and I wish I’d done so months ago.
Best of luck to you, and I truly hope things get less difficult for you very soon.