Why do people keep telling me

(Vanessa) #22

I’m almost a month Keto and, back when I was less than a week in, I was such a Ketovangelist that I just had to spread the word to people I care about who I know had to be struggling like me. Turns out most of them were already recent converts themselves (Keto buddies amongst my friends yay!) or, I managed to peek their interest. I was contacted on Sunday by a dear friend who, at one week in, was already down a promising number and she couldn’t believe her scale!
Of all the ideas on anything ever that I’ve shared with family and friends Keto is the most important.

(Miss E) #23

The BMI is basically moot if you do any exercise. It’s not really relevant unless you’re really obese or underweight. My mum is around your height and she would look sickly at 8 stone. Your family is likely genuinely worried about you. All that said, doesn’t mean you aren’t healthier now than you were pre-keto

(John B) #24

While I was losing weight there was one of my co-workers who honestly was worried I was losing too much. When she said this I was just 5 pounds away from my goal weight, and was not about to quit. Once i told her I met my goal, and didn’t want to get any smaller, she was relieved.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #25

Our perception of what is reasonable weight is skewed. In the U.S. these days, even guys who are well-built and obviously working out usually have what looks like baby fat on their cheeks and a roll around their bellies (albeit a small one—but if they were to let up on the diet and exercise . . .). But if you compare such guys with the builds of bare-chested sailors during World War II or the average physique of hippies during the Summer of Love, you will see what non-obese people are supposed to look like.

Women, of course, are a different issue, and today’s super-skinny models have distorted perceptions in the other direction. My ideal is the young Audrey Hepburn, who was curvaceous and neither thin nor zaftig, although I have to admit that sometimes zaftig has its charms. (Sophia Loren in Houseboat been known to distract even me from Cary Grant—for a few seconds, at least!)

(Trish) #26

LMAO. I read zaftig as saftig, which in German means juicy. :wink:

(Candy Lind) #27

Yes, people can say stuff that bug you, but some might be telling you that because they really think you look OK. A) men carry excess weight more “comfortably” than women - it just doesn’t “show” as much. B) The world has gotten so much fatter that a “marginally” obese person of 20 years ago is “normal” now.

As others have said, you do you. If they persist, tell them that you’re just not comfortable where you’re at.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #28

I imagine the words are related. For all I know, zafitg might even mean “juicy” in Yiddish, as well. I’m a shaygets, but I worked in New York for many years, where you can’t help picking up a certain number of Yiddishisms. :smiley:

(Jennifer ) #29

“Wait…you’re gonna stop at some point right?”

“Idk, I dealt with my insulin problem and now I guess my body is just correcting itself. I’m sure I’ll stop losing eventually.”

Keto: come for the weight loss, stay for the health benefits.

(Raj Seth) #30

:muscle::+1:

(Jennifer ) #31

100% agreed. Do any of us know what a normal weight looks like anymore? I can’t say I do.

#32

I would say it depends.

Your friends are more obese, so they felt that it is fine to be slightly obese? Or they are not obese, yet they said your body(slightly obese) is okay?

Because same statement under two different situations can imply different things.

But let’s give the benefit of doubts and just let me say one thing for your consideration: is it possible that they are just thinking* that you are in a sicked/twisted mindset about your own body?

  • In the first place, I am wondering if I should use “afraid” or “worried” instead, but in the end, I decided to just use “thinking”, the middle-ground between afraid and worried. As in, I mean it in a neutral sense.
#33

I am 5’10” and my starting weight was 230lb. I still have a ways to go but I have also been told I “carry it well”. I am comfortable at this point knowing I have enough visceral fat to fast and my labs are all in the healthy range. Hoping to keep losing inches even if not losing the lbs I had hoped for! #KCKO

(Doug) #34

Another 100 lbs. and I might find out. :smile:

To be serious, for maximum longevity and health, I think it’s pretty lean. Even the top end of the normal range for BMI - 25, presents 4 times the risk of developing diabetes, according to Dr. Roy Taylor (he of the famous Newcastle study), versus a BMI of 20.

(Carol O'Carroll) #35

Yeah, I get ‘you don’t need to lose anymore’.
Me: Actually, yes I do…waist/height ratio not at 50.

(Deborah Blau) #36

[quote=“MI_Girl75, post:33, topic:37307”]
s 230lb. I feel that I am guilty of that. I hope I can stop. A woman I know has lost a bit over 100 pounds with bariatric surgery. She says she wants to loose another 70. My reaction that I have stated is
"You look great. I don’t see 70 pounds. " (I am not saying that I don’t see any extra weight.)

She is clearly not standard size, but she looks so much better, it’s kinda thrilling that she’s made it so far. I do want to support her in her achievement and her goals. But I also think I am threatened by her success. So it’s complicated. Historically, I have had about an 70 - 80 pound total range myself. Maybe I am in the middle of that currently. But something in me wants this woman to be “The really big one.”
Whew. Honesty can be challenging.

(Trish) #37

I think a lot of that goes back to our “lizard brains” for lack of a better term. If someone else is doing less well then by simple comparison we are doing well (or at least better) that makes us feel good, safe, acomplished, etc. depending on the situation. See schadenfreude. But also, let’s face it, no one wants to be “largest” person in a group. There’s comfort in being in the mid ground and pride or self-esteem in being “most fit” in the room.

And yes, I also agree that our perceptions are skewed these days. If I had the time at work (a coffee/donut shop) I could totally take a simple tally of people walking in…appear to have “normal” BMI or appear to be overweight. It wouldn’t be scientific but definitely interesting. Unfortunately, it’s far too busy a shop to be able to do that.

(betsy.rome) #38

My hubby, who started keto’ing with me for support & is now committed to it as well, gets comments all the time at work about how he’s so skinny he looks “like a concentration camp victim”, yes, they went there.

Fact is, he’s an ectomorph (naturally slim build) and now weighs about 10 lbs less than when I met him in his late 20’s, thanks to keto. He’s had some muscle atrophy since a disc operation 2 years ago, which is why he’s lost some muscle mass, but is delighted to wear his old jeans again and doesn’t miss his belly a bit. His challenge is to start building muscle at age 65 with his back injuries. Otherwise he’s his correct weight.

I think some people are actually concerned for his health when they comment about his weight ("you’re not ill, are you?).

(Trish) #39

First…wow! Re the camps comment. Makes one wonder what is actually going on in people’s heads.

Second…it’s amazing that people will feel it’s totally ok to comment on someone’s body if they are thin when that same person would never dream of saying anything to an obese person.
OMG you’re so scrawny, you need to eat a burger.
Versus
OMG you’re so fat, you need to eat a salad.
I mean, really, is there a difference? Neither is an appropriate statement yet the first is frequently heard and somehow considered acceptable. WTH?

(Pete A) #40

It’s true someone could be genuinely concerned there are unspoken health issues behind the transformation.

(Trish) #41

Totally true, but there are ways of phrasing things that are far more appropriate.
Hey Pete, I’ve noticed you’ve lost lost a lot weight recently; is everything OK, or is it intentional? That’s a totally legit question by a concerned person.