Why can't people just be supportive?

(Marianne) #1

Met two immediate family members at the park yesterday with my husband. My sibling said he had just read an article from the AMA that said people should only stay on keto for “a year,” and that it wasn’t good for you to be on it any longer than that. I said I could point him to a website (dietdoctor), that disputed these findings. He reminded me that “this was from the AMA.” face plant. And this is coming from someone who probably has metabolic syndrome.

(Susan) #2

May you live long and prosper on Keto, Marianne dear, and show them all! Later down the road they will see you being the healthiest in the group, and maybe then they will come to their senses, muhaha =).

(Marianne) #3

Thanks, Susan; you are a peach. I have lost 55 lbs. and kept it off for 19 months. Never felt better, but I am the one doing myself a disservice (while they’re carbing out on the junk they brought for lunch).

(Heather ) #4

Hi Marianne,
Unfortunately people find it very difficult to be supportive of someone who seems to be “doing well” I have been doing keto for nearly 2 years and still my close fried buy me chocolate & non keto crap!
This lifestyle makes you realise that your strength comes from within- you are doing great! And the only person you need to justify this to - is yourself.
Stay strong & be happy- you are doing great!
& we are all here with you xx

(Gregory - You can teach an old dog new tricks.) #5

The proof is in the pudding…

Show them your pudding,

Ask them " So, how is your pudding doing?

(Doug) #6

:metal: Very well said.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #7

Recovering addicts and alcoholics get this kind of sabotage from family and friends all the time (it’s one of the reasons we talk about "co-"dependency).

“But I read an article by a researcher stating alcoholics can learn to drink moderately.”

“Yes, and the researcher who conducted the study, according to people who knew her from A.A. meetings, is in prison for vehicular homicide while under the influence.” For some reason, they don’t want to hear this response. Can’t imagine why . . . :scream:

(Laurie) #8

There was a young lady who lost 100 pounds, quit drinking beer every night, and asked the management of the factory where she worked to give her a chance selling the product they made. When I knew her, she was beautiful and on her way to being successful. She observed that “Some people only love you when you’re down.”

Unfortunately, that’s the truth.

(Tracy) #9

Only carb addicts give me grief.

#10

@OldDog @OldDoug I can’t handle you two double teaming like this. It makes me confusion. :wink:

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Pudding ‘showing’ is a misdemeanour in some counties.

#11

They don’t know what they don’t know Their intent is good and comes from within, and is defined by, the limitations of what they do know. Or, what they think they know.

Support is found amongst the like-minded. I don’t think it’s that great. Personally I respond to being challenged, and especially by those in close social proximity (family and friends). Because their reticence or outrage makes me think. From that I question, and then I learn. This is the silver lining of interaction with the unsupportive.

#12

Oh I would ask them if AMA (whatever that is) says eating whatever they eat is better? Because not-keto and whatever people usually eat is two very different things. I can go back to my previous diet and stay healthy (it’s not as ideal but not bad for me) but it’s a health-conscious low-carb diet without added sugar, I avoid most processed stuff (I mean I eat cheese, smoked pork, those are processed too but not like things with zillion questionable ingredients and too much package anyway) and so on… I keep most of my restrictions there as they make sense, they proved their worth…
I don’t know their health-consciousness and knowledge but if they eat the usual carby crap, they have zero right to say much about your woe. They shouldn’t say stupid things about keto anyway or say bad things about your woe when it is okay for you but people are people and do such things, as we know… But when they eat much worse, I lose my understanding. I don’t know how they eat but there is a huge chance that not close ideally for themselves…

And how on earth could anyone say anything about keto for more than a year? Which person? Which keto style? Well, I would ask for reasons. I don’t even know what AMA is but I don’t care anyway. Humankind is so good at being totally wrong, even experts do it often in many, many cases. Doctors told me such wrong things about my own health…
If experiences including mine are clashing with some statement with authority, I at least doubt the truth of the statement…

Why aren’t they supportive? Many reasons. Some are jealous, some suffer from the usual “only my way is the right one”, maybe too much respect to authorities is here in the mix this time… Who knows?
But people are very often like this, we should accept that. There is nothing new in it for me and it’s “fine” as I make my own decisions about my own diet. And others may say or think whatever they please, I can’t do much about that. I can tell a few things but people rarely listen.

#13

people can’t support what they don’t understand. Never will.

reading an article and saying ‘that expert’ said this and I believe it, well, then heck, all other info. is over and means nothing after ‘reading’ that report HAHA so they support what they read with by NO means doing any real research on the topic.

You know my response to ‘the AMA said it’ would be…cool.
I just drop things like this anymore. I would look at them and say if the AMA said it in an article then it has to be real. cool. then I throw in the ‘whatever’ and change the subject.

all my years of this dieting chat crap and I am so over it. When others say XYZ I say, cool, whatever. My mind can’t go there changing someone else’s thoughts on a topic they know nothing about truly.
Why even go there?

#14

I don’t believe people only like us when were down but simply when were relatable. Like crabs in a bucket.

#15

I like to ask people like that questions about what specifically about keto isn’t healthy, or what is the end results of doing if over a year, what kind of keto foods aren’t healthy etc. Basically stuff they can’t answer and it makes them very aware very quickly that they actually have no clue what their talking about, then I’ll usually finish it off with something to the effect of “Did you actually read or learn anything of what specifically is unhealthy, or are you just repeating 3rd party info that you don’t understand as passing it off as fact”? That’ll typically stop them dead in their tracks. I’m a dick that way. I used to be nicer about it but after years of keto it happened to many times. Had to start (usually politely) biting back.

(Marianne) #16

It’s the American Medical Association, supposedly the leading authority of health guidelines in the U.S. Their findings, whatever they may be, are considered virtually empirical.

(Marianne) #17

Reminds me of a quote I love, “Even the devil can quote scripture for his own purpose.”

(Doug) #18

It depends on what you want, at that point. Does it matter to you enough to attempt to persuade him otherwise? We all have to pick our battles…

:slightly_smiling_face::sunglasses: (Probably the most important thing, there, right?)

If it were my brother, I’d want to see the article. Is it really “from the AMA”? Does it make a rational and logical case that eating ketogenically for more than a year is actually bad for us?

It can be contentious - especially depending on how we approach it. If it turns out that he has the facts wrong - even as stated by the article - then a very harsh way would involve you saying, “Well you stupid so-and-so, you didn’t even know what the article actually said, and you’re the one eating yourself into an early grave because you’re stupid.”

That’s admittedly an extreme example - there are all degrees and shades of less confrontational and aggressive argument. Or, you can choose to not fight the battle at all. It matters what your personalities are like, your history, the family ‘dynamic,’ etc.

Just speculation here - it may be that he has some feeling that his diet isn’t really doing all that well for him, and most of us don’t like uncertainty - there is an attraction to thinking that other ways “are not good for us.” That way it justifies him not making any changes.

(Gregory - You can teach an old dog new tricks.) #19

Oh, yes… Made up mostly of medical Dr.s, who in their eight plus years of education get very little if any substantive training in nutrition. I heard one MD say he thought he got about two hours of what he would consider formal nutrition training, but it was hard to remember, since their was so much more going on.

Dr.s are mostly taught to recognize symptoms and what drugs to throw at them…

(Megan) #20

I need to save this response to use later!