What is the WORST keto recipe you have tried?

(Bob M) #61

This is the only kale recipe I can stomach:

https://nomnompaleo.com/post/18128850657/pressure-cooker-braised-kale-and-carrots

I forget whether we used the carrots or substituted for them or left them out or maybe added fewer of them.

#62

Keto PB cookies using Swerve. You know those little kits with the frames that you sprinkle tiny glass or plastic pieces in, bake, and make stained glass thingies? The “cookies” flattened out like that- and were practically see-through. Came out NOTHING like the video tutorial- which I followed to the letter.
And, the taste was pretty disgusting.

Just giving up on sweets entirely. These faux-sweets are ruining the memory of what real sweets tasted like. I’m growing more and more content with the memory, rather than partaking.

(Brian) #63

We gave up on kale long before going keto. Just didn’t like it. Never liked it. Never had a recipe for it that made it “good”. Kale goes by the affectionate nickname of “grass clippings” here. Sorry, but that’s about what they taste like to me. (no offense to grass clippings intended…)

#64

My adaptation is to add 30g of psyllium husk, about another 50ml water and make five or six rolls.
I make point ended long rolls and make three deep slashes across each one.
It works, crispy rolls that are cooked right through.
I think 250g of ground flax seed would take 50g of psyllium husk, but I’ve not experimented here yet.
I think the key is the small volume, the shape and the deep cuts in the top. The heat can penetrate quickly.
However, the original recipe, without modification works if I cook it in an old fashioned metal loaf tin that quickly conducts heat to the dough. I’d be wary of using a glass or silicon ‘tin’.

(Jane) #65

I can’t find it but I had a recipe for crispy kale chips with sriacha sauce that was pretty good!

(Todd Allen) #66

Not really a recipe but just a bad idea I came up with. Pickled beef liver: raw liver sliced thin and immersed in vinegar, I’m using ACV. I’m not sure if it is the taste, the texture, the appearance or the smell I find most objectionable. But plenty of salt and other strong flavors can rescue it enough to allow me to choke down a daily dose of half an ounce or so. And it was satisfying to tell a couple vegan friends I eat raw liver.

(Edith) #67

:joy:

(Will knit for bacon. ) #68

I have tried many keto cookie recipes. The most recent fail was keto snickerdoodles. They all taste like a vaguely sweetened sponge.

(Failed) #69

The worst (and most hilarious) keto bread recipe I ever made was one that was very expensive. It took 10 egg whites, some xanthan gum and/ or psyllium seed husk powder, and IIRC a bit of coconut flour.

It was beautifully puffy and gorgeous right out of the oven, at least an inch above the top edge of the loaf pan. I was impressed!

After just a couple of minutes, it deflated like a balloon with a hole in it. Like, totally deflated, to about 1/10th the height. I figured that I hadn’t cooked it long enough, so I put it back in the oven. In just a few minutes, it was puffed back up in all its glory. After what I felt was a suitable amount of time, I took it out again only to have it deflate again.

At this point, it was fun watching it inflate and deflate so I repeated the process a couple more times before tossing it. I did taste it-tasted like an egg white omelette.

(Ellenor Bjornsdottir) #70

Mayonnaise hot chocolate…

I’m going to give the recipe creator’s name because it’s me.

So I had some egg yolks I mixed with a tiny amount of water in the bottom of a coffee mug. I melted some butter at a frosty 50-odd degrees C, figuring I’d make some kind of emulsion. I did. Then, instead of adding mustard like a normal person, I added Truvia and hot cocoa syrup. Topped off with whipping cream to cut the butteriness.

(Ellenor Bjornsdottir) #71

What a hilarious use for propane :rofl:

(I want abs... olutely all the bacon) #72

90-second microwave bread, the texture was sand and the taste was bland and odd at the same time