Venting (non-supportive family members)

#21

No. That is considered wrong…as in toxic. Person can choke and die. But, if someone says “I choose not to eat carbs”, “animal products”, etc, because of weightloss or inflammation or personal values, it gets disregarded as frivolous choices.

(Danielle) #22

It’s the relentless lack of acknowledgement that this is the way we should be eating. That it really IS the best for our bodies and that the SAD is not effective. Everything in moderation is NOT beneficial and does not work. The horrendous lie that fat is bad and that somehow even though it’s clearly working for you, you must still be wrong because so many other people (who believe the SAD lies) can’t be wrong. Yeah… I hear it everyday. I do my best to keep my head down and ignore the nay-sayers. Tell 'em to go suck a sugar cube, you’ll be over here eating some bacon dipped in butter.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #23

It’s toxic, too, just a lot slower. You know what I do?

“Can I get you some cake?”
“No, thanks.”
“Why not?”
“Medical reasons.”
“What?”
“I’m hyperinsulinemic. My body can’t process carbs, I could die.”

Technically, this is true, I just leave out the part where it would probably be a slow death over the next few decades. But it’s enough to simultaneously shut them up and get their cooperation. They may not respect a mere mortal but their sphincters slam closed at the thought of invoking the wrath of the entire medical community.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #24

I’m kinda lovin’ this insult. I may have to take that on a test drive this week.

#25

Yeah, but with my family, that does not work. Because they witnessed me try other diets, and fail. So, they just roll their eyes and see this as another venture. However, I’ve been keto for more than a couple years now, so it’s hands down the best WOE that works for me. It’s possible that in their head, they are thinking I’m going to switch to something else.

Regardless whether I switch or not, it doesn’t matter. Respect for people’s choice is necessary. Unless they are obviously inflicting acute lethal harm on themselves or others, you need to respect people’s free will and choice, and just stay out of it.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #26

Tell them to go suck a sugar cube.

#27

Better to keep the peace in family. I keep my mouth shut, and stay calm. I need to keep the relationship open for helping them in the future…when they face escalated medical problems, I can be there for them, and no ego walls built between us.

Stay calm and keto on…even in relationships.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #28

I was making a joke but I guess it didn’t communicate well.

(jketoscribe) #29

When I stay at someone’s home I take my own breakfast foods and lunch is usually out and about. I always offer to buy them dinner at a restaurant, then I don’t feel bad about saying something like “can we choose a place that has something on the menu I can have?” Or if dinner will be in their home I offer to make part or all of it that I can eat. In that dessert scenario I would have gotten berries and whipping cream.

#30

Just go buy all your own food. Stuff for big salads with protein and fatty dressing, nuts, cheeses, salami, eggs, bacon and HWC for your coffee. These folks are not supportive, but they’re family so you should be able to bring your own food over and feed yourself. That would be my strategy.

(JennyBelle ) #31

I certainly agree at this point, we just plan on the results to speak for themselves. Neither of us are diabetic, but there is a history on my husbands side…so I hold a great concern for our two little boys. He and I are both overweight, and that’s how we found Keto, we were looking to better ourselves and guide our children in the right direction. There is great love between my family members and I…but sometimes it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. For our family we will do what we feel is right and plan future events just as so.

#32

My MIL wants to make me a cake for my birthday. She keeps asking me what kind of cake I want. I keep telling her not to make a cake for me, but make it for everyone else since I won’t be eating any. She is getting mad at me because I have rejected her offer of cake - I say let the others eat cake, I want more bacon!

(David) #33

Ask for a bacon cake.

Bacon, cream, cheese, mmmmmmm

(David) #34

Be careful with your enunciation though. Can I have a bacon cake? and can you bake me a cake? sound quite similar.

(Larry Lustig) #35

You can still ask for a cake, even if you don’t plan on eating any of it. Pick one that you think the other guests will like. They’ll be happy, your MIL will be happy.

(jketoscribe) #36

There are polite and rude ways to do this. My BIL and his wife and her daughter came to visit us once. We did a lot of cooking and shopping in anticipation of the visit. They never communicated that they were on any special diet or make any food requests–we always ask houseguests before they arrive if there’s anything they can’t eat or anything special we should have on hand for them, and they didn’t tell us anything. So we spent way over our budget when things were tight in order to treat them to some really good meals.

Well, our house is about 2 blocks from a grocery store, so right before they came to our house they hit the grocery store and bought food for themselves for the entire visit. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t any special diet food, as it was mostly processed junk (and even back then we prepared home cooked meals–my husband is a really good cook). I was hurt that they didn’t seem to want to eat our food and we spent so much extra money to accommodate them. It was really awkward having to sit at the table with them eating separate meals. I would have understood if they were really under some dietary restrictions, but what I recall about the type of food they bought were things like deli-made fried chicken and packaged mashed potatoes and Fruity Pebbles.

That’s why I either offer to cook or go out, or at least make a dish that can be shared alongside their planned menu. And I take time to discuss it with the host, so that nobody is surprised or hurt.

(suzanna) #37

Why not find a keto friendly cake with heavy whipping cream as frosting or other dessert and give her the recipe!? Tell her it’s truly what you desire for your birthday! You can control your portion size. That way you honor her but protect yourself. I gave a sugar free jello “salad” recipe (with cream cheese/sour cream layer, HWC topping), to a friend once. She insisted on having a dessert for me at her party but wanted us to bring “just ourselves.” Another standby for me is strawberries and whipped cream. It’s a splurge carb wise but worth it sometimes in situations where everyone else is eating sugar laden treats.

#38

That is bizarre behaviour.

#39

Happy birthday Jonesy

#40

I have a passive aggressive family member who actually goes to extremes to provide sugar laden food…most recent meal included: meatballs drowning in canned pineapple, ribs drowning in sugary sauce, salad drenched in sugary dressing, pizza and cake. There was some Brie there but it was drowning in honey. Now, prior to her finding out I eat keto she never put sauces on anything. I think it’s funny because I expect it now and I’m entertained by the fact that she thinks I don’t catch on to what she’s doing… I simply eat before I go then I avoid her while I’m there.