Venting (non-supportive family members)

(Luanne ) #1

We are over at my brother and sister-in-laws place. We were here a couple of weeks ago when we told them we are on a ketogenic diet. We of course got opposition due to everyone’s miseducation on fats.

So we arrived yesterday (we are staying for 3 days) and they suggest to eat at a place where literally there was nothing for us to eat. Every protein was covered in batter or some sort of sweetened sauce.

Then after dinner we go to the cvs to pick up toiletries and one of them asks, “hey guys! Want some ice cream?”

When we got back the house and before bed we were told that they had muffins for us for breakfast. Oh and they were pushing their no bake cookies. They’re good for you they say. So I started reading the ingredients. First ingredient, sugar!

The last draw is when they sent us a text to pick up a dessert we would like. Like WTF? They didn’t forget. They know! They keep saying well you can have a cheat meal. What?!

Sorry for the rant but had to vent and there is no one I can go to who would understand.

(Julie Anderson) #2

You should pick up some salami and cheese, or some of your favorite keto snacks so you can survive the visit.

My approach in a similar situation (made even more awkward because they know I need gluten free, and they’ll go out of their way to make sure there are gluten free options (unfortunately high carb)) is to tell them not to try to cater to my dietary foibles.

I have plenty of things with me that I can fall back on if what is being served doesn’t work. I shop for my lunch to go while they pick out theirs. I try not to make a fuss, or even discuss diet and food. There are plenty of other topics (note, this may not work if your family is less respectful than mine and INSISTS on discussing it).

Julie

(Luanne ) #3

Great advice! I brought some macadamian nuts and cheese with me. Considered packing some bacon and totally should have lol.

(Jennie) #4

SO frustrating.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” (Gandhi)

I’m sorry they aren’t being considerate of your needs. Live life in such a way it makes them see the value. It may not be today. It may not be in six months. But you keep pushing for yourselves and they just may catch the train.

And as the 2 Keto Dudes always say, keep calm and keto on. :slight_smile:

(Stickin' with mammoth) #5

Luuuurve this quote! And Jennie is right, just live your truth and be a gorgeous visual aid they can’t ignore. Then, ignore them.

And eat tons of butter in front of them, it’ll drive 'em crazy!

(Jeff) #6

Sounds like they’re trying to take responsibility for your choices. That is not their job. I’m pulling for you. Grab some bacon and make 'em jealous.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #7

Holy crap, Jeff…

Best. Meme. EVER.

Thank you!

(JennyBelle ) #8

My husband and I had made the mistake of having just a few cheat days over Christmas this pat year. It was our turn to host at our house, and we were only 3 weeks in to Keto. Had we’d known how we’d feel going off just to make myself happy one last time with my family through the holidays, Id think other wise. Just in time to get that nasty virus that has and still is going around. Turns out I got it bad and never even had my Christmas and sleep for four days. I hope to never be off Keto again!! Currently still trying to explain to my family as to why this is my lifestyle now and our future events WILL be supportive of this. As the Dude Abides Keep Calm And Keto On!!

(Jennie) #9

I relate. I have tried to compromise for others just to keep peace or avoid annoying commentary, but I’ve found it’s not worth it. Oddly, I have so much less desire to “cheat” now as I know it comes with consequence and it’s genuinely not how I want to eat anymore. My body craves protein and fat. My brain tells me sweets are delicious, but I still crave alcohol for the same reason. I recognize it’s not nutrient dense food (the sugar desire isn’t for higher carb veggies or anything justifiable, just garbage) and I know it isn’t good for the chemical tent I drive around. I really think it’s a part of the Keto process to feel your way through with a slip up to see how little you miss the old ways. And yes, KCKO! :smiley:

(JennyBelle ) #10

Yes Yes Yes!! Yesterday was my first day on the Keto forum. I had woken up @ 5am, went to my first Zumba class @ noon, than swam for 2 hours @ a birthday party in the evening and still only had a minimal amount of fat for lunch:) Finally past the “Flu” and feeling so much more alive! Thanks for the welcoming comments, I am not much one for posting on the computer or facebook, but I hope that I can change that here with all of you!! I eagerly look forward to more topics to learn from and give any and all advise that I have:)

#11

Yes it really feels like they are rubbing your nose in it doesn’t it? My advice would be to sit them down and list what happens to you when you stop eating keto. This is what I plan to do before my next family visit because I pretty well always end up eating carbs because I don’t want to make a fuss. But the fall out of that is months of trying to get back out of the pit of depression I fall into so… I hope that if I explain the consequences they will understand better and be more amenable. If not I will put my foot down because I am worth more than that.

(Keto in Katy) #12

In my personal experience it is pointless to explain anything to those who are not receptive to a new idea, especially one that challenges a long-held dogma. Most people are absolutely convinced that they know what happens when you eat fat, so there is no dialogue to be had.

#13

I don’t agree actually. You may refuse to believe it would affect you that way but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t harm someone else. I would expect anyone I love and who loves me to accept that something is harmful to me if I tell them that it is. if they don’t then that is something I will have to deal with but you should at least give people the chance. IMO.

#14

This makes me chuckle, as I go through the same :poop:. My family sneaks carby crap in meals, and then lies about it. I remember one day I woke up the next day, in complete pain, and immediately suspected the “safe” cream curry sauce…“what? No…there were no carbs in there…I just use spice and sour cream…” I dug through the trash can, found the crime weapon…a crinkled packet of powdered curry ready mix…with corn starch, flour, sugar, etc.

Ever been told by family members that honey is natural, maple sugar is natural, agave syrup is natural…but cane sugar is not? So, eating the natural stuff is ok, and not the other “unnatural” sugars…wtf!!! This is the stupidity I constantly need to face.

The best part is that I’m slimmer, more energetic, more healthy and never sick. But, yet, they have so much to teach me.

(melinda) #15

omg so rude! Seriously, do they have vegetarians over and try to force them to eat meat?

#16

Oh…they won’t force…they will add something like chicken broth and not tell them. Not nice.

(melinda) #17

This kind of shit pisses me off SO MUCH.

PEOPLE HAVE AUTONOMY. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO CHOOSE WHAT GOES IN THEIR BODY.

IT IS NOT UP TO ANYONE ELSE TO TAKE THAT FREEDOM AWAY FROM THEM.

#18

Respect
Trust
Compassion

That’s all it takes, really.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #19

Fuck. Would they slip an allergic kid a peanut? Fools.

(melinda) #20

Unfortunately, I know multiple people who this (or similar allergy food) has happened too.