Tough Love for Newbies and really anyone else


(The amazing autoimmune 🦄) #41

I think in most people’s minds being too fat is equal to being overweight. I don’t feel that there is a distinction in our language. The difference is too nuanced.

I also think in our society saying someone is too fat is considered rude and is not PC.


Talk about language and it’s effects on us. A few years back I went to a PTSD Clinic as a Vietnam vet and was given a copy of the psychologist’s report and he described me as a “well-groomed, obese male.”

OK, I knew I was fat and overweight but it was the first time I had been classified as “obese” in a clinical sense. I was really bummed out by that analysis and the word “obese.” I was at 33-34% and am now 29.6% after giving lost 70 pounds. Of course, that is on the antiquated height (5’7”) to weight (185) ratio.

Agree with y’all though, that 70 pounds of “weight” does not reflect just how much fat I have lost.

Like Keto WOE, fat vs. weight loss are not terms that are simple to wrap your mind around.


My hope is that we can stop seeing being fat as crime against society and a moral failing. Maybe then it won’t be considered rude to describe someone as fat when they are.

(Becca) #44

I hope your daughter is ok :heart:

(Eric - I am a onelander!) #45


Thanks for asking. She is a little sore. We are told that the real soreness happens 3 days later. So we are waiting. She is height challenged and the seatbelt cut into her neck. She is looking at car seat cushions or lifts.

Today she had an interview for full time work at the Library she works at. She toughed it out and did the interview and reports are it went very well.

She has her mom’s and dad’s determination and grit (if I do say so myself).

(Becca) #46

It sounds like she’s quite the fighter! I hope she has a speedy recovery (and that she gets the job)

(Diane) #47

I lived in Argentina for a year and a half (quite a few years ago). I was fairly thin when I arrived but gained quite a bit of weight eating lots of wonderful crusty bread and pasta. We had a bakery/ pastaria at the end of the block that made fresh bread and ravioli to die for (probably literally).

It turns out that it was culturally a much bigger insult to call someone skinny than it was to call someone fat. And believe me, I got all sorts of unsolicited comments about my rapid weight gain. I soon learned that it was totally devoid of the same connotations of laziness and moral depravity that I find common here at home.


We need to get rid of the fat shaming. It’s not shameful to be fat, just harmful to one’s own body. It has nothing to do with determination or morality, but more to do with malinformation and lack of resources, with grains and sugar being way too cheap compared to real food.

(ANNE ) #49

Further to the points about fat shaming. I USED to think obese people were just lazy with no willpower. You know the old calories in and calories out dogma.
For as long as I beleieved that dogma, how else can you think?
I too became embarrased of my inability to keep my middle aged spread from spreading further, I had no willpower to resist the creeping obesity.
My clothes were increasing in size, despite my exercising increasing, so the joint pain associated with it increased too.
All I think now, that I have enjoyed eating keto for over a year now, how angry I am, that the prevailing so called ‘healthy eating’ and exercise more advice is contributing to many people’s obesity and the illnesses in both mind and body that are associated with it.
I came to keto because I was tired of feeling unwell, depressed at my lack of progress in feeling fit and active, despite being very active.
Thank goodness to this forum, which has educated me along with Jimmy Moore and Jason Fung’s books.
That said, I came to keto for a quick fix! But in coming to this forum, I have learned and come to understand that keto is for the rest of my life.
Thankyou to the wise on this forum. You are genuinely helping people feel well again.

(Khalil Islam-Zwart) #50

This is probably the most brilliant thing I’ve read today. Also, it rings with things I’ve told others in different words. Thanks for such a great post!

(For the love of my hubby) #51

I just cancelled my 7 year long subscription to Weight Watchers. During the periods where I actually followed the diet, I was always hungry and ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS thinking about food. I have heard the saying over and over “Keep calm and Keto on.” I’m six weeks into Keto and I’m losing slowly. Who cares - the fact is I am losing. The food is so dang good, and I never count macros or worry about how much I eat. This is working great for me and I am never looking back.

(Jennibc) #52

Weight watchers was such a waste of money and emotional energy. Good for you!

(Deborah ) #53

EXCELLENT post! Thanks for taking the time to write it.

(Debbie ) #54

I so enjoyed reading this and it helped put things in perspective, Thank you

(Jennibc) #55

Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly challenged, I come back and read it myself!


If I could “like” your post more than once you’d have a string of thumbs up. :grinning: I’m doing this for health and weight loss is a necessary but secondary concern. The weight is starting to come off too but I also feel so much better! So “ditto” everything you said and I add for newbies don’t just look for the weight loss. Measure your success in other ways too. Cook yourself yummy keto meals (check out Carrie Brown’s recipes!), relax, and don’t just go on a diet - get a healthy life.


All true and I could have written the same post a year ago. I just need to add a word of warning. I “went off” keto over the holidays, thinking I’d get right back on. Well, three months later I was still struggling to even think about getting myself back into ketosis. Two weeks ago I FINALLY got started, and it’s been a very rough 2 week transition. Much harder than last year, when I had much more weight to lose.

I got kind of complacent after losing 50 pounds and thought I would be able to quickly get back to keto after taking a short time off. Even worse, through my first month off keto, I actually lost a few pounds, which led me to tell myself that my insulin resistance must be “fixed.” Of course, that didn’t last and I gained 20 pounds back over the next two months.

Moral of this story? Once you’re in ketosis and rolling along, ot’s easy to tell yourself “you got this” when holidays roll along. A few days off won’t hurt anything, after all, right? Yeah, it might. I got a little cocky about the diet and thought I had it all together. I learned otherwise the hard way.

Just something to be aware of!

(Jennibc) #58

That’s why I NEVER do a few days. It’s more like a single meal! Down 113 pounds today. This is a way of life, I will never go back to eating some things with any kind of regularity.

(Scott) #59

As I get closer to my goal weight I am seeing how effortlessly it will be to maintain with this WOE. I can’t see myself ever leaving keto behind.

(Eric - I am a onelander!) #60

What Scott says.