This just in: Fake salmon and fungus eggs

[Aqua_chonk]

They’re makin’ a plant-based salmon from legumes and an egg white substitute from fungus. My mouth is watering already…

…that always happens just before I hurl.

[Shortstuff]

[Shinita]

I would try this but it doesn’t even resemble whipped egg whites… And vegans already had whipped chickpea liquid (often unsure what to do with all the chickpeas though).

Plant-based salmon, no thanks. I rather make fake salmon from carrots, it actually sounds an edible food (if one can handle all the sugar a carrot has), it’s just as dissimilar to a fish as legumes but whatever mind games vegans enjoy They provide me entertainment through my life so I am fine with that. To some extent.

But this fungus thing looks fun I love interesting textures and I have no problem with fungi at all.

But I am waiting for cheap crickets and meat grown in a petri dish! I am open for everything, I just want nutritious, tasty food. It’s best if it doesn’t want to be something it totally isn’t, that’s a bit laughable to me… (Or very much when, like, everything is off. My favs are still the roasted watermelon and the low-fat rice paper “bacon”. But the banana peel “pulled pork” - I think… they wanted to emulate some meat, that’s sure - was memorable too. Even without ever tasting it as even my curiosity has its limits )
Interesting, when I was a vegetarian for many years, I never ever felt the need to eat fake meat that doesn’t even vaguely resembles meat anyway… I didn’t even eat seitan back then. I must be a simple one. (Of course, being a mere vegetarian is easy, with all the fatty animal protein - okay both are individual, it was easy and enjoyable for me - but still. I am sure some vegetarians eat fake meat.)

Thanks for the info! I will have another thing to talk about with my SO at lunch

[Aqua_chonk]

Well said.

[Aqua_chonk]

whipped chickpea liquid

This one phrase was enough to make me question all of humanity for 30 seconds this morning.

The fact that almond milk is really “nut juice”…just shaking my head. Here, Karen Morgan explains it at 6:27 Her whole bit on her husband going vegan and trying to drag her with him runs from 5:12 - 7:03

[Shinita]

This one phrase was enough to make me question all of humanity for 30 seconds this morning.

Well how else vegans could make Pavlova? And heavens forbid they don’t have that.

It’s SO much work and everything, I really don’t understand why they can’t enjoy their zillion naturally plant-based dishes… But people have these things sometimes. And I should understand as I love changing recipes quite boldly (like I made a carnivore dish from a carby vegan one once, it took time though and I mostly use the vegetarian version), I don’t have silly ideas like baked goods require flour, sweets added sugar etc., leaving those out just make them different and they didn’t get fake at all not being fully traditional. But I don’t want to make my food acting like another, it’s usually a good recipe for a big, disappointing fail.

[Aqua_chonk]

It’s SO much work and everything

Believe it or not, that was my first clue that veganism wasn’t working out for me. Not the pain, not the hunger, not the rapidly deteriorating internal and external bodily conditions. Those were all badges of honor for vegans in my community. We were encouraged to sacrifice and suffer, it was how one became holy. (er…Holey? My hair was falling out and my muscles were disappearing, so…)

No, the only thing that clawed its way into my awareness through a heavy layer of disassociation and self-gaslighting was the fact that I now had an extra part time job that was actually costing me money: food prep. From morning to night, my weakening frame was in that kitchen washing stuff, cutting stuff, mixing stuff, arranging stuff, cleaning up after stuff, then shopping for more stuff from five different stores, because special.

I did the math in my head and it’s exactly the opposite now. I used to spend 90% of my time getting ready to eat paltry nutrients and now I spend 10% of my time cooking up refrigerators full of meat that keep me strong for weeks at a time. No contest.

[Shinita]

Oh I would enjoy the hell out of my pretty nutritious plant-based meals and never would go hungry, I am a hedonist, I always get satiated on every woe I do. Not like I ever was a vegan, once I did 5 days though I am sure I would be healthier than the average person but it would be so much work, I would feel unsafe without my complete animal proteins my body so readily absorbs… And no eggs. Nope. I still would gain muscles, probably, it’s not hard to get enough protein on a plant-based diet, after all even if they don’t absorb so well or something.

And no, one can do an easy, not so much work veganism too. It’s easy to just boil 1kg legumes and good luck to eat it up in 5 days (well maybe you can do it, I don’t). It’s almost no work. Cooking rice is 1 minute work… Vegetables easily take no time except buying them, it depends.
Not every vegan do horribly complicated insane replacement cooking to get some non-satiating thing And I spend HOURS in the kitchen on carnivore (okay, I cook for a high-carber and do various things there but still, I can play with making food so much).

But one can spend 1.5 hours on vegetables before starting to cook, we did that once… We were omnivores.

washing stuff, cutting stuff, mixing stuff, arranging stuff, cleaning up after stuff, then shopping for more stuff from five different stores, because special.

We definitely do that all… It’s unavoidable for us.
It’s lots of whipping stuff and grinding stuff in my case…
But it’s true that the base of my woe is just tossing something into the pan or oven. I prefer doing fancier stuff mostly when I feel like to and not when and because I am forced to do it. I personally can’t live on simple things ONLY but as cooking is a hobby of mine, it’s fine. As long as it’s not too much preparation. I STILL couldn’t bring myself to put the filling into my deviled eggs with a bag with a fancy tip, it’s such a chore and a spoon is easier… And who cares if it’s not the prettiest thing ever? It’s me, I wouldn’t make it so pretty in a fancy way either

I gladly work a bit for some satiating food for days. But when it’s lots of work just to do some unnecessary fancy thing (like vegan Pavlova) or a fun but not satiating, not so nutritious dish (vegetable soup. I totally adored them so it wasn’t useless but still, all the work and I just get hungrier)… NOPE. I am so glad I almost completely stopped eating vegetables. It has multiple benefits.

[collaroygal]

whipped chickpea liquid

This one phrase was enough to make me question all of humanity for 30 seconds this morning.

Quote of the day for sure.

Sooo…
Why do vegans have to try and make everything animal like from vegetables? If you don’t want to eat meat, then just don’t eat it or any sub for it. Their subs are so processed. I really can’t fathom eating any of it. And I used to be a vegetarian.

[PaulL]

I think it’s the same impulse that leads some ketonians to try to come up with low-carb equivalents of their favourite high-carb foods.

[Aqua_chonk]

Dressing up soy beans to look like meat, dressing up pork rinds to look like flour…

(sigh)

It’s all just junk food drag.

[Shinita]

I think it’s the same impulse that leads some ketonians to try to come up with low-carb equivalents of their favourite high-carb foods.

I consider that very different. Meat is an ingredient. Ice cream or cake is a treat that just gets better becoming low-carb (according to my tastebuds). Bread too. Just because we don’t use all the original and not even tasty ingredients, it’s just as real and for me, normal. It’s an improvement and very useful for some of us. (I am in my bread phase right now. Bread in a very wide sense.)

Or do you think about things like cauliflower rice? That’s ridiculous, it’s NOTHING like rice! But it’s good (well, I liked and promptly banned it due to the unacceptably high carb content when I still liked vegetables) so I find it perfectly fine to use as a vegetable dish. Nothing replaces rice but just the side dish role is so easy to replace…

Making “meat-like” things is different, it’s so odd for a vegetarian or vegan I think… But I definitely wouldn’t like a low-carb bread that is just like a carby bread (not like it’s possible to make) or a pancake that has flour and added sugar flavor. When my last bread resembled normal, carby bread, I felt a bit odd but fortunately the differences were still there, I just need to get used to the similarities without having a bad reaction. (And I eat normal carby bread any time I want so it’s not like it’s so foreign to me… But if I am on keto, I don’t want carby bread-like bread. If it makes sense…)

By the way, I kinda like my (non-vegetarian) seitan (it MUST have lard, it’s one of the secret ingredients. another is lots of paprika). I don’t want to eat it even when I dislike meat for some reason but it’s very tasty and interesting and super easy and quick to make. But it’s not a meat replacement as it’s nothing like meat. It’s a gluten dish. I like honest dishes. Even if they sometimes resemble other things, it’s rare but happens, lemon and certain things together resemble quark. it’s not like that but it strongly resemble it. I know a dish that is better at an originally quark dish than quark itself and it’s a bit sad as it’s carby. Oh well, I don’t need to eat every fun dish, I just make them. And I found other good combos and they are even carnivore enough for me.

Oh well. It doesn’t important what other people think, our food is our business