People who, maybe unintentionally, tempt us, or actually are trying to

(Bacon is a many-splendoured thing) #21

Something we used to advise people on the forums: You can always say that your doctor advised you to, without mentioning that you are referring to Dr. Phinney, Dr. Westman, Dr. Hallberg, Dr. Fettke, Dr. Mason, or Dr. Cywes.

(Denise) #22

Yes, a lot of people will poopoo me listening to doctors on Youtube :wink: Great idea :wink:

(UsedToBeT2D) #23

I think it just rubs people more, when they put something in my face and I refuse. My results speak for themselves. I am undeterred. They hate it, I love it. After all, its all about me!

#24

You’re not alone. My family expresses love through food… which is one of the reasons why I hit over 300 lbs, not once but twice.

My father always offers me a beer when I visit, often forgetting (he’s 86) that I don’t drink beer anymore and haven’t in a long time. It’s always a thing… how come? why not just this one time?.. Exhausting.

My in-laws finally get it and no longer push non-keto foods on me, so now it’s just making sure that I have a metric ton of food on my plate or else I must be shy, despite knowing them for almost 20 years. At least we’re past the “this time won’t hurt” phase when “this time” = weekly.

(Bacon is a many-splendoured thing) #25

For me, “this time” = this decade. If I have carbs only for this decade I’ll be fine, right? :grin:

(KCKO, KCFO) #26

Family is tricky. It might or might not be intentional on her part.

I follow the don’t discuss politics or religion at get togethers, and these days I add dietery habits to the Don’t Discuss list.

(Denise) #27

Thanks, that’s worse than I have ever had to put up with :wink: Once we start seeing, and feeling, all the benefits of Keto, we ain’t goin back :grin:

#28

I came back from the usual Christmas dinner (the best ever as my SO and I cooked and of course there was pork roast for me :smiley: it was a hit anyway, the main piece of the dinner. we did multiple versions of the salad but the roast only needed salt)… I am lucky with my family. But I actually like discussion about my diet now and then (I totally call it a diet as it is a diet. it has rules, it’s food so it’s a diet. and I don’t lose fat despite I wish. that’s for 2022) - but no one bats an eye, usually. Oh well. But when I was a vegetarian, it was like a huge scandal in my not very close family… I didn’t really care but that was a tad much, why others care about MY diet? It’s my business. I tell that and the other parts of my opinion any time. I don’t need to explain anything, it’s not their business at all. But I gladly talk about carnivore any time. No one was interested this far. And probably few people knew about keto, it’s not a thing here.
And if all the raw vegans in this country can be all proud and honest, I can do it too, I have nothing to hide about my woe though it’s a bit complicated, can’t be described by a single label.
So I am closest to Fangs, I am not shy if it’s about protecting my rights. I am a big enough enemy of myself sometimes, I really can’t afford to let others dictate what I put into my body, not even a tiny bit. If I eat off, it’s totally on me.
But it’s true that I have not much temptation, being a hermit. I know it does good to me to limit temptations as I never resist them. Eventually I will lose all the bad temptations, I already made much progress. People can change a lot, even their desires, it’s very useful for people like me. I don’t want to be “strong”. I want to want only the right stuff…

(Ian) #29

I guess as I get older I get grumpier. If anyone tries to force me, shame me, cagoule me, insinuate I am being rude by not eating what is being offered, I am clear that my food choices have 1) reversed diabetes, 2) normalized my blood chemistry,3) reduced my risk of heart attack, stroke, dementia and 4) my wight has been stable for the past 4 years. Then ask “how are you doing”?

(Denise) #30

If I did that I’d probably walk out and get hit by a bus, LOL!! Just kidding with you, I am pretty straight-forward myself. I would love to get just one person to try Keto. None so far as I know.

#31

yea I know this feeling. I think part of all it of it is us too. We are changing ALOT and we see the junky food being inhaled by all around us and think, yikes that is almost like a poison and the icky food supply out there. I also felt anger just that others wouldn’t ‘see the light’, so yea I know that feeling too.

So anyone’s old ways that we kinda weren’t effected by, we are now very annoyed with these actions cause we are changing and have new goals and others usual ways now seem to be in our faces more.

best ya can do is tune alot of it out. Like when I went into my lifestyle we would go out to eat and I would take forever to figure out the menu, what I could eat, but hubby would order like he always did and I WOULD hound him more about you shouldn’t be eating this or that til one day he said, ya know, I don’t say one word on how you eat yet you won’t shut up about what I eat? LOL He was laughing saying it but he was right, I was changing and I was pizzed he didn’t come along for the ride ya know.

So ignore it, blow it off, if it ticks ya off just enough, say something…but you will find your calm and ease with it all :slight_smile:

(Denise) #32

You’re so right, and it is more about me than anything else, my attitude, once again :wink: When I went to bed lastnight I was doing some reading but my mind side-tracked about this post… I really felt kind of ashamed for belly-achin about my sister. I can’t say I really regret doing it though because of all you sharing with me, and finding like-minded people. This is just a good forum, and I’m glad I found it. I’m learning so much.

#33

No. Don’t be. WE ALL walk it with family :slight_smile: It is a side effect of you changing and others are stagnant and alot of emotions and feelings come about it all when ONE person whats the best changes for themselves and see healthy on the horizon and others are stagnant and feel jealous and threatened by your good progress and the healthy people go overboard thinking no one should be eating that nasty food out there LOL

believe me it is all entwined and we all go thru some form of us.

you are right on point with natural progress ahead for yourself and you will make peace with your journey and how it goes and what others say and more.

in the end, all about you no matter what anyone says or what they do for themselves. Self care is required :slight_smile: You are good!!

#34

What. Isn’t it a height of rudeness and the opposite of love to trying to force-feed me with something that damages my body and mental state?
I am pretty serious about this so I would so agressively verbally judge people who REALLY crossed the line with me (being a normal host, even a tad too forceful, I can handle that politely. but there are limits and I get annoyed if I have to tell for the 100th time what and when I eat and not eat).
But at least I would educate them, make them think. “Do you REALLY want harm and pain for me? Isn’t that the opposite of love?”

It doesn’t even matter how much I can handle carbs. I have all the right to decide what to eat and when and how much (unless it interferes someone else’s rights too much or something).
It’s something many people don’t get. I often met some odd attitude, something like that if I am not lactose intolerant, I have no right to avoid lactose and the like… (I don’t avoid lactose by the way, I try to have no dairy times though and I have reasons for it.) Maybe they don’t say it like this but strongly hint at it. At least they understand when someone doesn’t eat themselves very sick, there are examples for the opposite, it’s very tragic especially if parents do it towards their innocent and dependent kid. If people don’t understand very valid medical problems, how can I expect that my subtler (still quite serious) reasons are understood?
It’s good I don’t need anyone to accept my woe. I can do it all by myself without anyone’s permission. And the only one I am living with doesn’t sabotage me (rather the opposite. he is just a high-carber, he can’t help it, he can’t live in any other way but it works fine) but I chose him and I chose well.

(Denise) #35

I can relate to what you said @Shinita but at the same time, I started feeling stressed about it because I think about “other people” too much sometimes. Like my sister, and that was one of those times when I posted this topic. I was focused on her, not what I feel I should have been focused on. This thread has helped me a lot by knowing others understand, that feels good, I’m not alone.

I’m also realizing, because of others contributing to the thread, that I have to look inward for my answers to the stress I cause myself. I don’t think it’s others like my sister, I think it’s how I allow her, or others to effect me. I heard a saying years ago but never forgot it, “don’t let them take up space in your brain” and that is exactly what I do. I also stress myself out just with life in general, or something as simple as accidentally breaking a glass and beating myself up.

I think I am a control freak, at least at times. I want everything, and everyone to be, just so! I don’t want to be like that anymore and I honestly feel it’s a health issue, whether physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and probably all of the above.

I just made another thread, just on Stress, and also want to hit on what @PaulL brought up, the cortisol response. New to me, and I have an inquiring mind :wink: By the way, you are so blessed to have someone in your life that is your friend, you husband sounds like that to me, you two get along and can live together. I missed out on that in my life, but sometimes I think it’s just better that I am not inflicting my issues on anyone else. My little dog, well I do behave better because of her so she is my little, roomie, and a blessing :wink:

#36

In my case thankfully, both my PCP and my Gastroenterologist have suggested KETO as a tool to battle my health issues. This is positive in 2 ways. First, my family can’t have an argument against it since it comes from my team and second, my health care providers recognize the power of the lifestyle. It’s a win-win.

(Denise) #37

This so great! Those are both considered “conventional medicine doctors” am I right?? I was listening to a video by Dr. Ben Bickman and in the comments section I saw 2 doctors just “eating up and appreciating” his info!! My MD is very good about me turning down meds and pursuing nutrition and exercise. I’m not opposed to conventional medicine, but I got into trying alternatives about 20 years ago, not soon enough to stop what I now believe started as Insulin Resistance which led to T2.

Glad you have good doctors!! Denise

#38

Yes. Both conventional DR’s and both telling me that this is the lifestyle for me to mitigate and hopefully reverse my chronic health issues.

#39

remember one thing, no one is or can be your health.

your body will fail when it needs to fail, ie, you will be medically screwed and fighting disease and possible death and more and our quality of life can be severely lessened.

SO what goes in your mouth, is ALL 100% about you.

This is where ‘you work on your mental game, your mindset’ of how you personally ‘will deal and lock away stress away from you’ when facing the ‘world of crappy eating’ and others ill health and more while you improve. We have to ‘come to terms’ wtih certain issues in our families, again, alot of us walk this but in the end, we put it in boxes and compartmentalize it and do great!!

Others can talk whatever game they want, you can ‘care and be supportive’ of others when they require it, but you can not let it take your health and well being. There has to be a boundary and believe me, I had to find mine also :slight_smile:

This is a good chat and good walk for you on changing your mindset on how, when you improve more and more and your health gets so much better and your well being starts to skyrocket and your vest for life increases thru a healthier body----you realize it is all about you and you can’t do anything to change anyone or take others advice on how to eat :slight_smile:

you got this!

(Bacon is a many-splendoured thing) #40

Belly-aching to her would be rude, but asking us for help dealing with the situation is fine. Everyone needs a place to blow off steam, sometimes.

The challenge, when we know a relative is well-meaning, is to reject the special treat, without rejecting the person. People who are actually malicious are sometimes easier to deal with, because there are no good intentions to be careful of.