Kind of Sad

#1

I am about 5 weeks into the keto WOE.

I am so excited about my new found energy and mental clarity (even though I am not really fat adapted yet) that I wanted to share this with my parents to help them.

They are both in their mid 70’s, dad a T2D, Mom a pre-diabetic and cancer survivor. Both high BP and high cholesterol. My mom can barely walk, is riddled with joint pain and has absolutely no energy whatsoever.

Anyways she was very interested in the concept and read the links I provided. Well this morning she calls as says that she is very interested but will go on “modified” keto way of eating.

Her modified way of eating is having oatmeal for breakfast daily (even though she is ravishingly hungry 2 hours later), she plans on not eating the fat required because she is worried about cholesterol, she said she will have very small portions of pasta in the evenings but only twice a week or so, will eat baked potatoes with dinner. So in other words she isn’t really following keto at all.

She stated that my dad loves his chips aka french fries and cannot give those up, so this way of eating isn’t for him. Even though he seems to be suffering a bit of early dementia - he hasn’t been diagnosed with such, but I find he acts strange becomes easily confused.

I guess I am sad, because I am so excited and enthused. I see so many positive changes in the way I feel, I would like my parents to feel better. But I guess not, they are set in their ways and minds closed.

End of rant.

(Karen) #2

Baby steps. applaud any reduction in simple grain based carbs. They should not eat the high fat, unless they give up those sugary carbs.

K

(Garry (Canada)) #3

My in-laws are of the same mindset. Fat is the :smiling_imp:.

Imagine after 70 years, someone told you smoking is now healthy?!..Might take you a while to accept it huh.
Be patient…Your results will speak for you.

(Liz) #4

So tough for you when you can see the changes in yourself but not everyone will understand this woe. Try to be as supportive as you can and in the meantime the changes that you are making will maybe start to make them rethink.
I struggled so much with getting my fats up after the years of ‘low fat conditioning’…it takes time for attitudes to change and is harder when we are older, just KCKO on encourage any changes they make.

(Renee Slaughter) #5

My hunny was the same. He is stuck on exercise those pounds away. But he has seen so many positive changes in me so he is making small changes. Skipping OJ, haven’t bought bread in a while. He is quite happy that he gets to eat steak and butter. So slowly he’s coming around. I make sure I give him lots of encouragement. And I’m the head cook and bottle-washer. So he eats what I cook.
Best wishes

#6

I find it hard enough to figure out my own diet---- let alone anyone else’s. I figure they have their own Higher Power who will help them figure things out.

(Banting & Yudkin & Atkins & Eadeses & Cordain & Taubes & Volek & Naiman & Bikman ) #7

Yep. Baby steps.

Replace instant oatmeal with steel cut. Will reduce GI, and probably not get her hungry again in two hours.

Replace potato with sweet potato then with mashed cauliflower.

There are steps between SBD and full keto that are steps towards keto.

#8

What does that stand for?

(Banting & Yudkin & Atkins & Eadeses & Cordain & Taubes & Volek & Naiman & Bikman ) #9

Way of eating.

It’s unfortunate.

(Bunny) #10

I have the same problem with loved ones and acquaintances they are so deeply entrenched in the cognitive dissonance (love that concept) of societies dependence on the health care industries influence on diet and cholesterol number scare tactics; so the willingly blind can eat the sugary goodness of processed foods via wealthy corps and get by on their insulin pumps and exogenous insulin dependent dissonance, you might as well talk to the wall and why I don’t even bother unless seriously provoked!

Sad!

(Jean Taylor) #11

I feel for you. I tried to get my mom on it a while back she’s t2d and has celiacs and still won’t try it. It’s crazy frustrating :frowning:

(Peggy ELLIOTT) #12

We all need to make our own choices. Perhaps as your parents see your success they will want to learn more.

#13

Thanks for all the comments. I realize cognitive dissonance is very strong and I guess the proof to the naysayers will lie in how my body changes over the course of time.

On a positive note, I have convinced my husband to make small changes in his diet. I counsel him what to eat at lunch or when away on business. While he is not full on keto - he is very worried about cholesterol and gall bladder (he has had issues with gall bladder), he has made adjustments to his eating habits.

He has now cut out sugar, eating far less carbs and has lost 13 pounds in 5 weeks. Of course he has lost more than me, but he has more to lose.

Well I will KCKO, I feel I am close to being fat adjusted and look forward to the continued improvements I am noticing in my body.

#14

I have an older Tofi relative with CVD. He has cut the carbs but refuses to add fat so complains that he is hungry all the time. Again, nothing i can do. I have tried. We sometimes believe we have more influence over other people than we actually do. We want to shake them and say why don’t you believe me? It is not us, it is the medical establishment and the leaders (both medical and government) who are responsible for the proliferation of bad advice that is literally killing people. It is worse in my family because they are all medical. This relative is off all diabetes meds after 20 years or more. A year ago he said if he had known he could have avoided meds by cutting out carbs he would have done it but had no idea how well it would work. He himself is a retired physician

Baby steps. If they see a real change in you then you get one of a several reactions, either you become their guru (although still do not follow everything) or they say as your mom did, ok I will follow this but I still need my oatmeal, pasta in small amounts (they will follow that especially if they are not extremely food addicted), you can work with that, or they will say, that is great but I trust my doctor and he says I need to match my insulin to my carbs and even when I eat well I still have unexplained blood sugar (yes one good meal does not mean you are well and your blood sugar will drop!) or they will say I am glad it worked for you but I cannot give up X food. I actually said to another T2 relative on H’s side, when he said he likes his pasta, I said so do I but I like my fingers and toes more.

Baby steps. I have thought of visiting my relatives and spending a week cooking for them, every meal so they can see what a well formulated keto diet looks like and can then master it

(GINA ) #15

My folks did well on a low carb diet in the early 2000s, but it didn’t last. My mom was talking recently about going back on to lose some weight and said, “The doctor said it was OK as long as I still eat oatmeal to counteract the cholesterol.”

Is it generational to be able to believe that there has been a giant conspiracy of lies? She doesn’t trust the government about much else, why this? Actually, it isn’t trust in the government, it is trust in her doctors I guess.

#16

And now the latest…

My mom calls me yesterday to encourage me to switch to the paleo diet because I will be able to eat a banana or have a glass of wine and even eat fruit if I so wish. She knows I really enjoy my red cabs which is her way of trying to convince me to quit keto.

Well what she doesn’t realize is I can have a glass of wine if I wish, or berries with whipping cream, I don’t really care about bananas because of how they make me feel - tired.

What she doesn’t realize that only 6 weeks in, the transition taking place in my body is unbelievable. I require far less sleep - 6 hours per night and I am waking up refreshed and full of energy. I simply cannot stay in bed longer than that. This morning I am up at 4:00 am already seizing the day.

My brain is clear for the first time in my life. No fogginess or extreme exhaustion mid day, no afternoon naps. I am awake and feel alive.

Why on earth would I quit keto?!?

(Sophie) #17

Just wait until you can wag your blood work numbers in their faces. Some people need stuff in black & white.

(Saladnut) #18

I cut out sugar and carbs 33 years ago after I was able to diagnose myself with candida, while all the docs just blamed my problems on stress. I no longer try to help coach folks on diet unless they show interest. I do share success, but when I see there is no interest piqued, I don’t push the topic. Over 33 years I learned that people have relationships with food, and unless they have a desire to find solutions, there is no way you can convince them to give up food. I had a friend commit suicide. I knew that I could have helped her, but she just wanted a pill to fix it. It’s like an addiction, and you need to hit bottom before you are willing to make a change. I see my hubby in the beginnings of Alzheimer’s, and I gently gave him the Grain Brain book, but he couldn’t give up sugar and bread. It’s sad, but we have to respect their right to make their own choices. We also want them to respect our choices.