Keto outreach

#1

As a practicing ketoer, I’ve been doing my keto volunteer work. Passing down the skills and knowledge to others so they can learn to use the keto force. Lately though, I feel a little burned out as a couple of friends who really want to do this (at least they say so, they came to me and I didn’t push) are desperately clinging to all of the reasons why they can’t. Anyone have any tips or advice on how to not just give up on them? I want to help, I want to answer their questions, and yes, I have even called them out, in a nice way.

(eat more) #2

you kind of have to give up on them and focus your efforts on ppl that are ready and just be the example

you can’t change their “can’ts” no matter how much info and support you give…

for me i had ppl that “really really want to” but would make excuses while eating pizza and granola bars because they “didn’t have a choice” (even tho there is grilled chicken and pastrami two doors down) and all it did was frustrate the snot out of me…so i cut them loose and told them that i was available when they were ready

#3

Tom Seest provided some wise advice…first start with your why

Maybe ask your friends why they want to do keto. If they can think about that, perhaps it will trivialize the other reasons why not to do it.

(Arlene) #4

Changing eating habits is especially difficult. All habits are tough to change, but eating is connected to so many things. We all have things we want to change about ourselves, even your friends. Right now they are in the “considering change” stage. Just give them a pass, live your life and offer help when they ask for it, even though they STILL may not be ready to move past the “considering change” stage. At some point, their “why” may become prominent enough to make some real progress.
Don’t take it personally when they cling to their excuses. Just be you. Just being around you they will learn some things they may be able to use some day.

(Jennifer) #5

Carbs are an addiction to most people - you need to treat it as such. The addict has to bottom out and decide they HAVE TO CHANGE their eating habits. It doesn’t work to half ass it.

My oldest went through rehab for meth (he is doing wonderfully now) and going through some of the classes was eye opening. It helped me see the addiction in me. My DOC is sugar/carbs and I am an addict. Will I ever be able to have just a bite? With fasting as a tool in my toolbox, possibly. I will see when I start mantenance mode when I hit my goal.

Good luck planting seeds - it can’t hurt. But don’t get discouraged when very few people are really interested.

(Bacon for the Win) #6

this. I am just worn down from repeatedly listening to all of the excuses why they can’t do it. Ok, then don’t! But please stop whining to me about how much weight you’ve gained and how your shorts aren’t going to fit on your vacation next month. We’ve been going around in circles about this for YEARS now.

(Arlene) #7

Yes, I don’t get the whining either. If this has been going on for years, I would have to agree with Mikki and give up on them too. I believe when something is not working, try something different. This seems so logical to me. It baffles me that many people keep doing the same thing, year after year expecting a different result. Add whining to that and I’m outta there!
I have a family member who lives on her excuses for everything. In her case, the important thing is to blame anything and everything on someone other than herself, or just plain “bad luck”, or “bad genes”, which still amounts to being NOT HER FAULT. This allows her to never change anything, have no guilt about it, and most importantly whine, and whine, and whine.

(Bacon for the Win) #8

exactly. I started this job 2.5 years ago. A bunch of us lost weight at the same time and I am the only one who has maintained the loss. The others have put it all back and then some. I’ve moved to keto from a more paleo approach as I’ve tried to tailor a plan that works for me. People are always asking how I’ve kept off the weight and I am more than happy to share what works for me. Of course no one wants to hear that I don’t eat grains or fruit. Apparently my results are lost on them.

The one complaining about the shorts has three grown children. She works three nights a week. She has plenty of time to do meal prep and just chooses not to. I really just don’t know how to be helpful at this point so I’m out.

(John) #9

Nobody wanted to join me 9 months ago, I was ready to break my addiction, they wanted more solid evidence before they did. My wife started about 3 months later and dropped a lot, especially inches. We now have 6 friends on keto and loving it, but the 2 people who need it the most, my mom and sister, just won’t do it. They have gotten huge, my sister is now T2D and on insulin and still not on board.

I’ll help the 6 who are willing to help themselves and be ready when the rest are.

(Arlene) #10

Wow John, you are helping 6 people improve their lives. That’s great, and there will be more as your acquaintances watch your results and want the same for themselves. Pat yourself on the back for all the good you are doing.

(John) #11

I think it will spread fast, they are a very social group and are seeing good results and talking to people, making recipes etc. so I think there will be many soon. My friends are like “did your head get bigger or something, you look different”

(Dustin Cade) #12

I let people come to me… Sometimes they take to it, mostly they don’t… With my experience you have to be ready, I quit smoking only when I was ready, I started at looking how to lose weight only when I was ready… I started keto when I was ready… People I find want to charge but they are not really ready to do what it takes to really change…

#13

Just do the bobblehead, smile and nod as they complain. There’s really nothing else you can really do so there’s no use getting emotionally invested in their drama. Then change topics as soon as possible.

(Arlene) #14

I thought I was “ready” so many times. Addiction is tough, period. After so many tries & fails, some people give up. I never did. I guess I’m just stubborn that way.

#15

Thanks everyone! Maybe I just needed the support as dealing with this sort of crap tends to drag me down. :slight_smile:
These are friends who come to ME, asking questions and when I provide a helpful suggestion they tell my all their hangups. So I’ve offered 2 or 3 suggestions and said things like I love that you’re picking my brain but I can’t help if you are so committed to all of your reasons why it won’t work and left it at that. Change is never easy!

(jack wa) #16

Is this where I say, you can lead a horse to…

(Jacquelyn Graham) #17

A lot of people at my workplace have asked me about Keto, some are working at it, some not. Over the years I’ve learned you can’t change people, you only have that power over yourself and your own choices. Planting seeds is important, too. Don’t take another’s responsibility onto your own shoulders. Everyone has their own journey and they are the only ones that can make the choices that direct their own steps. You? Do your best at being a signpost and give over worrying about whether people pay attention. You’ll still be there when they come back to check directions once they figure out they got lost…again. :wink:

(Dustin Cade) #18

People are not willing to give up carbs… I was very reluctant… I didn’t want to give them up, finding out what carbs are and that they are in like 90% of all foods I liked… But I had to make a change or my life would’ve been short lived…