Butter Sculpting
Participants are judged on style, detail, and the speed at which they can eat the butter afterwards.
Freezer Tetris (Inspired by Brenda)
Participants are given a shopping cart of meat products and must fit it all into a standard household freezer in less than five minutes.
The Big Bacon Fry
Like butter sculpting, but saltier and crunchier.
Oopsie Roll Toss
3 Oopsie rolls are flung as discus into hungry teammate’s mouth at ten yards. No hands allowed. Oopsie roll must be completely consumed to qualify. Deductions for any fallen morsels larger than 1 centimeter in diameter.
Body Mass Event
Participants must evaluate body fat percentage, lean mass, and age by sight alone in five Olympians picked at random from three separate events. Bonus points will be assigned if their current blood ketones can be identified to the nearest 0.5 millimolar.
The Running of the Pants
Ketoers who have lost over one hundred pounds don their old, oversized pants and run an obstacle course while holding them up. Regulation compression shorts or swim apparel MUST be worn underneath. Immediate disqualification for nekkidity, accidental or otherwise.
Main Event: Keto Marathon
For ten months, a ketoer minds their own business while a non-keto competitor eats the SAD diet, after which physicians descend upon both with sphygmomanometers and fat calipers. Loser eats keto for a year, everyone wins.
